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Phoenix Ash

 

Consistency is the one quality that can almost always guarantee success. Success, whether big accomplishments or small, is something we all want right? But to be successful takes persistence, and that can be hard when you are a mother, an author, and a podcaster among other titles. So, in this episode, Phoenix will be sharing how she has learned to stop letting the daily tasks overwhelm her a detract from the things that truly matter to her.

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Phoenix: Hey, y’all. What’s the deal? This is Life As P I’m your host, Phoenix Ash. Thank you for joining me. If this is your first time, I appreciate it. Whether you found it on Twitter, Facebook, or a friend of a friend of a friend system of the brother, sister, cousin. I don’t know what’s up. How are you doing? If you’re a repeat listener, you already know I appreciate you so much. I love all the inboxes that I’ve been getting regarding the show. I love having conversations where you guys are bombarded. If you are looking to inbox me and talk about anything that I’ve talked about. My handle on Twitter is at p writes as PWR it is. It’s the same on Instagram. It’s Phoenix Ash on Facebook, but honestly, I’m really on there unless you’re joining Phoenix as fireflies and it’s FIYAH flies flies case you need it. If you join that reader group. You know, I sometimes post anything that’s upcoming. Um, sometimes I post about Sadie just to brighten your day a little bit. But you’ll find if something’s coming up, or if I’m working on a particular story working on a particular book, sometimes I’ll just throw little snippets out there. I’ll definitely follow it out on Facebook and get with it and join in some conversation. So boom, the week has been quite like weeks have been crazy, like back to back to back to back to back. When I say and I would love to say I’m not stressed. That is not the game. It’s not like I’m stressed. I’m stressed, I listen, I am independent, I’m like, I need some big strong arms to just wrap around. So I could just bury my head into my space and be told that it’s going to be okay with kisses to my forehead. Yes. It’s very specific. I am a writer. That’s what I do. Okay, but you know, I’ve got the messages, I’ve got the gems. And we know putting it in place is very difficult. Sometimes it’s so easy to say it and pinpoint it and look at the picture. That is easy to pinpoint. But once you’ve identified like, yo, just do that. Yeah, okay. Sometimes that’s hard. But my message recently, and listen, I tell you all the time, some of these messages you might have heard last year in a podcast two years ago in a podcast is because they become relevant over and over and over again. But the message that I’ve been receiving is consistent persistence. And so I’m trying to pursue all these different avenues in my life. And unfortunately, they seem to be colliding, okay, they’re doing the most. At the same time. I’m trying to sell my house and trying to buy a house, I’m looking for a new sponsor, you know, I’m trying to finish up these books, I’m trying to be a better mom, I’m trying to be more available to Sadiyah, like, it’s just a lot of the stuff is happening at the same time. And it’s just me, unfortunately, I don’t have a partner who is over present, he’s present, let’s not act like he’s not in my daughter’s life. He’s pregnant, but definitely not my partner. So that little piece of struggle is known for me, not in a new form like how I’m executing, because I’ve been executing so much on my own, but a new perspective for me now, for me to actually acknowledge, I should say, and move accordingly. So it’s a lot of adjustment, you know, my daughter’s school emailing me talking about how we’d like you to get her hair done on time. Like, I’d like to do that shit. But something’s gotta give, Something’s got to give. And I’m trying harder, because I’m like, you know, her tidiness may not be a big deal to me, because I’m like, she, first of all, she’s too advanced for your class. She knows all that stuff or whatever. And, but I have to keep in mind, I don’t want her to distract the kids that actually need the additional attention and need the additional work. Also, I don’t want to teach her the bad habit of like, just be late and just don’t care about it. Right. I want you to value people’s time. So that has to give, so I’m working on it. But you know, I had a friend with my good, my good friend, right. The one that I had conversations with who doesn’t sugarcoat that and who keeps it too well. So I had a conversation with him. And he’s just like, yo, if the goal is trying to write full time, like, I feel like you need to circle back to your goal, like, I feel like you are. He didn’t say these words exactly. But this is the message that I received, that you are getting very caught up in all the different things you got to do. Yes, you got to do them. But you’ve given too much of your passion and your emotion over to them. Those are things you got to do, but doing without so much passion and emotion because it’s like, Okay, you got to sell your house, okay? Well, it’s a little bumpy, okay, the buyers and the sellers go back and forth, that’s a traditional process. So you don’t need to get, you know, worked up or overwhelmed about what the normal process is. And this is me saying this, now it’s on me, because I’ve received it, and I take it, and then I build a whole story with it. So then I’m thinking about, you know, buying a house, same, same thing. You know, it’s a process. I’m disappointed in not finding homes that I love, or homes that are too small within my budget. So you know, possibly having to up my budget thinking about where I have the room, what can I do, you know, where I’m going to live, what area I’m going to live, how far away from this applies away from that, what’s the schools like, but this is all process, you know, looking for a new sponsor, that’s process to that process to because at the end of the day, whatever I’m going to be doing to contribute to that sponsors, probably going to be a lot less of my passion, and more of the stuff I got to do to pay my bills. You know, I have to learn how to emotionally detach and not get myself worked up, I can emotionally detach from people a lot easier than I can detach from what I want, when I want how I want it. Does that make sense? I don’t know. It probably doesn’t make sense. Like, it shouldn’t be like that. But like, when I say it doesn’t make sense, I’m going to get it. So I’m learning to take that same way that I can detach from people, and detach from the idea of what I want, when I want how I want it, because getting hung up on that is overwhelming me. That is what’s overwhelming my emotions. And it doesn’t allow me to be persistent in a consistent manner. And let me tell you why. I’m going to push, pursue, and then I’m going to exhaust myself and I’m going to stop everything altogether. It benefits me more when I’m checking things off. But I’m consistent, I’m doing a little bit every day, you know, I get benefits. When I work out for an hour and a half. On Saturday, the benefit is like, now I can do it every Saturday, right and be consistent that way. But the benefit is when I work out for 15 minutes, every single day, Monday to Saturday, cuz I’m gonna take the day off. Right? When I work consistently, the benefit is tremendous. Because it’s consistent, I’m training my body, I’m training my mind, I’m getting into a routine, everything is adapting, it’s not pausing. So I’m trying to apply that concept to various areas in my life, not just the working out 15 minutes, but you know, writing 15 minutes every day, so I can finish some of these damn projects, you know, looking for a new sponsor, well, you know, give that 15 minutes, go back to making a list of things that I have to do for the day, I want to cook, put that on the list, I want to make dinner tonight I’m making spaghetti By the way, if you wanted to know, but put it on a list and give everything it’s due time. Even the podcast, you know, I think I probably missed a week and so forth, because I got so overwhelmed with everything else that I forgot that it was something that needed to be executed. Okay, I should probably put it on the list. These are the things that are going to help me. I have to remember to remember, we talked about tools in the toolbox, I gotta remember what tools I have. And the tool I have is writing a list, I found that that works for me. And I’ve been so overwhelmed. I’ve been forgetting to write lists. And so I’ve been forgetting to do things to get how to execute that I know how to execute my emotion is to attach the things that are filling up in my head because I’m getting emotional about having to deal with so much. If I put it on paper and put it as a task list and just mark it off as things to do. I’m emotionally detached. That’s for me. I don’t know how everybody else does it. And when I emotionally detach and I check things off the list, I become more consistent. And when I become more consistent, I feel the persistence. And I feel that I’m pursuing what I want. persist like I’m going, going, going going It’s consistent. And I’m getting there and I am attaining it. Speaking of which, while I’m talking to you, I’m gonna go find me. Now, you know, I’ve got 800 blank notebooks in hand, but, you know, I’m moving. So a lot of that stuff is packed, but I’m gonna go find a notebook so that I can write today’s list. I don’t care what time of day it is. I can’t say, Oh, well, you know, the morning is gone. So I’m not going to start the list. I’ll start tomorrow. No, no, I felt like I did that by exercising. Right? Half the week is gone. So I’m gonna start on Monday. I’m gonna start on Sunday. No, I’m going to start now. Now, look, I found a book, I found a book. I’m sure there’s stuff in here. But I’m sure it is blank pages. And I haven’t really done anything with physically writing. So I’ll be fine. I’ll be okay. I can combine stuff. Because what’s in the book is less important than me getting myself together, none of this, none of that anything that I have works, unless I get myself together. So I got to do that. I got to be precise. And you know, it’s not just the little goals that I have to be persistent and consistent with. It’s being consistent and persistent that I have to, you know, do that with. I have to remind myself to be consistent after chasing the consistency, I have to chase the new routines, I have to chase the things that I want. Right? Not just except that, that’s just not me, or this is just what my life has turned out to be? No, I’ve got to be consistent, and continuously pursue the goal. And not forgetting. And thank God for good friends who remind you. Okay, wait, if this is what the goal is, they can tell you the reality of not seeing your consistency. Now, granted, I may be doing some things that my friends don’t know about or don’t see. But let’s think I need to pause and look at everything. I’m doing everything I’m saying, everything that is coming up against me and everything that’s in my favor, and deciding what I’m doing in my next moment. How am I moving forward? How am I conquering this, everything looks like a mess to me right now. And it’s very stressful, very stressful. But it doesn’t have to be, I can get it down on paper. And I can organize it even if I can’t organize it in real life and make everything come together in a manner that I want it to come together. I can at least organize it on paper, give it an order, and then take my emotion out of it and just follow the order and follow what’s on paper. That’s what a lot of writers do when writing a book. I sometimes am advanced enough to do that. My outline is usually mental, but very easy to stray away from. My memory is trash, right? So that I would like to finish a book and be like, Oh, you know what I thought I meant to have happened. You know what? I gotta go at 30. And we will do those. Sorry, I let it go. And Lord knows I’m still working on my ability to let things go. Yeah, a lot of writers you know, will do the outline and stick to that outline and be like, this is the book. Okay, it takes the emotion out of it. It takes the drag out of it taking the three years to write one book. For some people, it takes that out of it. Especially when you’re in a market where you’re trying to kick out books back to back, you know, urban romance and urban fiction, you know, that’s the back so I know a lot of y’all disappointed with me right now because savage fever has been missing this finale all year. It’s coming. It’s coming from and I’m halfway through. But yeah, I need to give it 15 minutes, I need to be consistent. And with that consistency, I become more persistent. Being overwhelmed is no fun. It’s no fun. And I am God forbid I’m on my monthly child. I’m one end of the spectrum to the other. I’m either crying or I’m angry. pissed and a bike I have. And sometimes if I’m crying I’m so mad that I’m crying that I have a bike anyway Chapo. Ciao, ciao, ciao, God bless the people in my life who love me anyway. God bless them. Because Honey, I know I’m nervous. But I love heart. So I’m not in that mode. I’m gonna love you to death. But anyhow, consistency is definitely missing for me. Even with the house hunting, you know, I went one day, and I was so disappointed and people were like, okay, so when is your next day? I don’t know why. What are you going to look at every Saturday? Are you going to look three times a week? Are you like, what’s chef playing? Oh, no, I don’t even know the plan. You know, I’m saying that’s not conducive. To me getting a new house. You know, it’s very wait and see. And definitely putting me in a position where I’m gonna have to do something in the interim at that summer house, which is not horrible. But the less time I have to do that, the better. So I found two last night that I would love based on the pictures, I would love either one of them. They fit in my budget two different ways. So curious to see which, if I get any, but which one I happen upon to love the most. It’s a hard process, but I need to be consistent. I need to, you know, look, every day. Same thing with finding a sponsor. Again, same thing with writing. Same thing for working for my sponsor, you know, the current sponsor I had, my workload requires me to track it. So they get their work executed. Because I’m required to track it. I’m required to go by a list. And I check it off, execute, execute, execute, execute. So why are they getting stuff done, and I’m not getting mine done. That can’t work. That can’t work. And maybe you need to think about that in your own life, too. Right? Like you go into work every day and the things that are required of you. They’re getting all of that stuff done. But is your family getting what they need from you? Are you getting what you need from you? Is your skin getting what it needs from me? Like? Are you making sure that you’re getting what you need? Because when you go to work every day, like it’s a trade off? It’s not well, we pay you a check. No, that’s not enough. I mean, hell, the government pays you a check. I’m saying, I’m giving you my time, and you’re getting work done. You’re paying me, but the payment that I receive is what what is it allowing me to do it should be allowing me to maintain a lifestyle, but it also should be allowing me the freedom to take my kid for ice cream, or pay for her to go to the movies or, you know, take a roll of skate and stuff like that. And those are things that are not very costly. But when I pay for all of these things, sometimes it requires my time. And sometimes I gotta give my time to my daughter and not like some two weeks out of the year out of a whole year of work for you. Are you kidding me? That’s not enough vacation time. It’s not enough. You’re dominating me. You’re dominating me and can’t figure out why you have disgruntled employees. Ciao. That’s a whole nother show right there. But this is why I don’t want to own a business outside of writing because I’m just like, ciao, Ciao, ciao. Like, I’ve all these ideas. And I’m sure I get into business ownership and be like, Alright, this is just my, my little rant. But anyway, make a list, make a list? What are the things you want to execute and then take each of those things that make the list about what it takes for the tip for you to execute those things, break down those lists, to as small as you need to get things done, to be consistent, you’ll feel so good, and your persistence will pay off. But persistence without consistency is nothing. It’s nothing. It doesn’t exist, there is no persistence without consistency. It’s nothing. Keep going. Keep going. Took a little bit every day. It’s okay that it’s just a little bit. But do it every day. Do it every day. Remember, if you have to put on your mirror on your wall, that dream that hopes that end goal. Do that, wake up every day and look at it. And then ask yourself, What am I going to do today to help execute that? How am I going to inch closer to that today? It’s not profound advice. You’ve heard it before, but sometimes you get to hear it again. It’s relevant for me right now. If it’s relevant for you, great, I hope you get the fruits of it. If you’re already there, share that with someone who needs help. You know, don’t be overwhelmed and be like you need but, you know, you see somebody struggling, you know, somebody really has something in their heart. And just like I never see them do something towards me and I just don’t understand. Know, ask them like, are you okay? Do you need help? Maybe I have some ideas that can help you inch closer. Maybe we can go for coffee and talk about it. Maybe we can spend 10 minutes on the phone. Want to talk about it? I don’t know, how are you going to do it? But you know, let’s help each other thrive because I want to win, but I want you to win to like, we’re all in different lanes. It’s so we can all win. Okay. All right. That’s my soapbox bill because I gotta Mark something else off the list. I gotta go cook. And I didn’t do that while I was talking to you because I was looking for notebooks and I was writing stuff down. Okay. All right. Anyhow, that’s me explaining to myself, why I didn’t get stuff done. I appreciate you listening if you want to support my books. They’re so lovely and dramatic. They’re available on Amazon. Under the writer, Phoenix ash. I’m on V love publications. I have an urban romance. I have urban fiction, I have just plain drama or in her makeup it is so dramatic. And such in the forest if you’d like a little extra Nami. I have a couple of audibles. Oh, no makeup is on Audible and I play myself. Okay. Yeah, do that or hit me up on Twitter. I can definitely send you a link to hit me up on Instagram. I can do that at p writes p w r i t s, let me know that you know, you listen to the show. And that’s how you follow me or whatever, we have some conversation. Please don’t send me a penis. So your pom pom, at least without introducing yourself first like this. Just don’t be rude. Any Whoa, that is my spiel. I am out for the count tonight because I’m so exhausted. But I’m gonna get these things executed because I’m looking at my list and I’m like this is doable. This is doable. Anytime and so the next time when we can exchange power. I love you all. Peace.

 

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