For many A-Type entrepreneurs, this is exactly what you need to be focusing on and your key to a more fulfilling or successful life. In this episode, Jenny and Jai will be discussing the concept of CTFO and explaining the importance of slowing down, taking a breather and setting good habits that get you closer to your goals!

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Jenny: Woo. Yay. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to another episode of the Hollastic life podcast. I’m Jenny.

Jai: I don’t know what the hell it’s going on.

Jenny: You always know what’s going on. Stop acting like you don’t know you live with me

Jai: My point. Exactly. And I still don’t know what the hell is going on.

Jenny: Whatever. Say your name.

Jai: They know my name

Jenny: Well, he’s Jai because this could be the first time that you’re listening, which welcome to the show. If it is

Jai: It kind says on the title

Jenny: Hey, what have you done? Read the title. And you just said the holistic life and you didn’t see the little with Jenny and Jai, just saying, so welcome. If you are new to the show, we are in the unfuck withable season. So we are talking about. All things, anything’s, all angles, all types of stuff to help you become unfuckwithable in your life. And a lot of times we focus on and talk about you A type entrepreneurs, which I don’t even know if I want to claim that I am any type entrepreneur,

Jai: But you are

Jenny: But I am, but there’s a lot of things that I have grown and let go. And so I totally get it. And if you are a longtime listener since the Oh G all the way back into the first episodes, thank you so much for being here. We’re so glad to have you. And today we are chatting about one of our favorite subjects. I say favorite, just cause I love the thing. So have you ever heard the saying C T F O, C T F O? And what’s, fun about the saying is that some people know what it is. You probably are like, Oh yeah, I know. I know. And you probably do. And some people are like, what the hell is that? Like, we have some friends who, every time there’s acronyms that come across, we’re like, what is that? I’ve known.

Jai: Cause they’re old.

Jenny: They’re not old.

Jai: She’s going to hear that and blow me up.

2:32 Jenny: Yeah. Cause I come y’all know who we’re talking about. Friend wise. But also too, we’ve, we’ve talked about CTFO on our coaching programs and it’s so fun because, you know, we’ll be in the middle of going through some teachings and we are all of our eight types have their notebooks and their pens and papers ready to take notes. And we’re like, all right. All right. Are you ready? Write this down. C T F O. And they’re like, wait. What does that mean? And they’re ready to fill it all in. And we’re like, yo, it means chill the fuck out. Which, yeah, that’s one meaning, but we’re also going to go into another meaning that like we’re all the letters stand for something that can help you when things are getting, you’re getting stressed, overwhelmed over worked, or really when you’re just being ways to a type. I don’t know. How else would you put it, Jai?

Jai: Nah, that’s good.

3:14 Jenny: Really? The thing is, is it’s like remembering. To slow down, but it’s a fun way to remember that. So if you have a little to-do list, right. CTFO at the top, and we’re going to break down each one of these throughout this talk and then just wherever it goes, right Jai? Are you here? I feel like I’m doing this podcast by myself.

Jai: I’m here.

Jenny: Okay. Okay. So C what does C stand for?

Jai: I forgot.

Jenny: He’s like you tell me, I’m trying to include you. So C is chill. So it still has the same C mean is Chill the fuck out, T is Trust the process F is

Jai: Flexibility!

Jenny: Flexible and O is stay open-minded.

Jai: Yeah, I know one of those.

Jenny: Okay. So Jai, since you’re not in any type, you’re always CTFO mode.

Jai: Uuh, I mean, not always, always with me 100% of the time and I’m human. Uh, I would say most times, yeah, yeah. To most times, but definitely not always.

Jenny: But even so, like, so CTFO in the chill, the fuck out, but also in the chill trust the process. Be flexible. Stay open-minded.

Jai: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Definitely, definitely, They’ll say a hundred percent there.

Jenny: Yeah. Yeah. So,

Jai: Well, okay. 99.176324.

Jenny: I’m going to go. I’m gonna go 90%. Okay. We can, we can settle at 93. Okay. Okay. So how, like, from your perspective, how does this like happen for you? Is it just natural? Is this something you’ve worked on? Like how have you been able to be so CTFO?

Jai: I guess I was blessed with being intuitive at a very young age. So, you know, One thing that comes to mind is I remember when. I was upset at my sister. For some reason, I was like mad. I was like yelling and I hit the door, I hit the wall or something, and then I’m just like aah or whatever I was yelling, right? And so I busted my knuckle hand is bleeding or whatever. And she’s just sitting on the couch, like with her legs crossed, looking at me like emotionally emotionless and lit. Yeah. She was like, that’s literally what she said, yo, you are, are you finished? And I think that pissed me off more than anything.  Cause like I’m yelling, like I’m trying to get a response and it, it, it didn’t do anything. So that’s always stuck with me because it’s like a thing, like you’re upset at a situation and or a person or something. And. Most of the time, the other person or the things, especially a situation, they don’t even know that you’re upset or like mad. And it’s kinda like when I feel myself getting upset, angry, or whatever, it doesn’t even affect the other person or the thing, like I’m the one who’s being affected. So why would I yell till I can’t breathe? You know what I’m saying? Like, why would I like punch, kicking and raise my blood pressure up for. A situation that if you really look at it, it, it really doesn’t matter. So like the only thing I have control of is how I choose to react to the situation. So yeah.

Jenny: I mean, like, I think what you described about your sister, just sitting there, like, yeah. Are you done? And that, I think that’s a perfect example of being unfuckwithable in that moment, because a lot of times we have these things that trigger us. Or that these expectations and these beliefs of what we’re supposed to be doing or how we’re supposed to be acting or what that looks like.

Jai: That’s how they agreed.

Jenny: And so, I mean, like in that moment, I just feel like that’s such a great example of embracing that CTFO method, that CTFO feeling that CTFO process, and even like, so from my perspective as an, a type it’s like there’s different aspects because. So much of me wants to go, go, go all the time. So much of me wants to like charge through and you know what, like I totally at times get annoyed like that. We aren’t doing more. I get annoyed, like, Oh my God, there’s all this time. There’s all this time that we have available and we should be using every single moment. And you know, it’s interesting. I’m definitely not the only one that has thought this or thinks this at times.

Jai: Fuck that!

Jenny: Well, like that’s, what’s so interesting about the two of us, because today when we went to the dentist, my hygienists, we were talking about this and. You know, we were talking about some mindset stuff and we share some things in common. And one of the things she said is she’s like, I just feel like I want to get the most out of life. I just want to like ring it for all that it’s worth. And I feel like I want things to come faster. I want to get the absolute most out of life. So I don’t want to waste any time. And I personally can relate to that because I have felt and have thought the same. I want to get the most out of this so much fun. I want to just experience everything and not waste a minute. And for you, you’re probably like, no,

Jai: Definitely like no.

Jenny: Like, yeah, like, and you’ve never, ever, ever thought that before ever? Like you want to get the most out of a day or an experience or whatever?

Jai: Wait, I mean, that goes into your, what is your definition of getting the most out of a day?

Jenny: Okay. Ringing every lap. I mean, that’s literally.

Jai: Well, well, I mean, but still like a ringing every I could be getting the most out of the day by like sitting here, watching the dog look outside and jamming music all day while I sit on the couch and just get lost in that moment, like. That’s an experience within itself for me.

Jenny: Yeah. I see what you’re saying. Like, it was kinda like a, like a think about it question, like, what do you mean? Like, this is exactly what it means, right? Like that’s pretty much what you were saying. Yeah, no, that’s, um, it’s interesting because as I’m learning and as I’m becoming even more unfuckwithable right? Because I’m learning so much because that idea of ringing every moment out of the day, this is, this is an example I have. I used to plan vacations.

Jai: Oh my God!

Jenny: Where literally every single moment was planned because I wanted to get the absolute, most out of that experience, like everything. And I mean, look, we have fun, but we were worn the fuck out, right? Jai, how did you go along with it? Because looking back, I can kind of laugh, but like, Ha ha not knowing what I know now I can look back and I’m like, how the hell did you go along with that new love?

Jai: Uh, I mean, part of it was like, I don’t want to do this, but we might see some cool shit. And another part was like, I mean, fuck it. If I don’t, she’s going to be pissed.

Jenny: Well, that’s true. Cause I probably would have made you go,

Jai: How did I go along? I didn’t have a fucking choice!

Jenny: I know! Cause, It’s actually, now that you say that, because it’s like, I did that a couple of times before we took my parents to Hawaii, right? Cause I wore them out, wore them out real quick. Cause I remember we got to that one hotel and I’m like, yay. There’s like free drinks. When we check in, it’s going to be great. They’re like, all right, let’s just go chill out for a second. My mom fell asleep and like, didn’t wake up until the morning.

Jai: No, both of them fell asleep.

Jenny: eventually, right?

Jai: No they, no.

Jenny: Because mom fell asleep first.

Jai: They both, it wasn’t too far from each other.

Jenny: Yeah. Yeah. So going from that right? Ringing every moment out of the experience and wanting to get the absolute most out of it,

Jai: Hum, my perspective, my respect, I don’t see the fun in that, like. Where is the fun of planning out the entire day? Like there’s no room for anything else. There’s no room for anything else. So you might miss, like, as I always like to say, you might miss the space between the notes.

Jenny: Right.

Jai: Like you’re just going, going, going, going, going, going, and then like there’s no time to chill. There’s no time to relax. There’s no time to like nothing. It’s kinda like, it’s like, over-training.

Jenny: I totally get it now. But when you’re in that, that mind space and you haven’t fully replace those beliefs with something else that can serve you better. Because I think also, okay, so let me back up before I go there. So you’ve got what I used to do, right. Which I would pack the vacation full. And then what I learned, I remember when we went to Hawaii in the future and we had already been there and I didn’t feel like, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh. I think part of what’s under that. Oh, I’m just, this is so good! I think part of what’s under that is the belief of scarcity. It’s like a scarcity mindset, because if you are trying to get the most out of life from every single moment it’s as if there’s no more moments available, except for the one. And I think that it’s, it’s also treading a fine line walking a fine line or whatever that saying is to where yes, it’s important to be present in the moment and to enjoy and have gratitude and appreciation for what’s in front of you and what you have and what you’re experiencing and the people that around you, but also wanting to ring every last moment. Now that vacation in those seven days or out of that experience or out of your life, it’s also as if I know you don’t know, I know. None of us have tomorrow promised or even the next minute promised. Right. But I don’t feel like that’s absolutely necessary to just ring every little bit out of it.

Jai: Agreed.

Jenny: Right? And so I feel like what’s underlying, that is a scarcity belief scarcity type of mindset. Because when we went back to Hawaii, once I, once we went to Hawaii the first time and I was like, we have to see and do everything this week. So I don’t know when we’ll be back. We have to do it all. See it all, have it all, be it all. And then we were back in like two years and I was like, okay, well, we already did everything. So what do you want to do now? Oh, I don’t know. We hung out. We relaxed. And what was cool. It was to experience. Yeah, we had a couple of things that we wanted to do that we had missed the last time or that we wanted to experience again. But then the rest was like room to explore what was closer to our hotel. Like the place we were staying. We did those really cool, like hikes back to that one area. Like. Where it was. Okay. I said hike and you just totally freaked out that one walk that we did back to that cool place where I swam with the sea turtles. And you didn’t get in?

Jai: I don’t remember. I thought you were talking about the gaming community and

Jenny: well, the bikes.

Jai: Oh my God. That was a fucking height.

Jenny: No, I’m talking about the one where we walked along the water. We saw tons of sea turtles and we got back to that one beautiful area. We actually just put it in our Ohana newsletter. Not that long ago.

Jai: Where it was super cold?

Jenny: I don’t remember it being cold, but it was really beautiful. It was really beautiful. It was like your own little private swimming pool with Clearwater. You sat up on the ledge and you kind of watched you sat by a tree and watched, I got in the water and swam, there were sea turtles in there. I was swimming with.

Jai: Oh, Oh, well, we had to walk around.

Jenny: Yeah!

Jai: It was, I was pissed. I was, yeah, it was gorgeous though. But yeah, I was.

Jenny: But that, but that like, we would have not done that because that wasn’t on my plan to list the year before. So it allowed for cool things like that to become available.

Jai: With the, with the Aloha coconut.

Jenny: Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. I mean, so I definitely enjoyed like really what that was is exactly what the CTF of process was. Because chilling out right. Versus controlling every moment or perceiving that you can control every moment and then trusting the process, trusting and allowing and knowing that amazing things will unfold. And you’ll still have an amazing time without controlling every moment.

Jai: Right?

Jenny: Being flexible in that. How do you feel today? What do you want to do today? Like, do we want to drive two hours to somewhere? Do we want to stay local? Like that was part of the flexibility because based on my rigidity before. We are fucking going the two hours, whether you liked it or not, this was what was planned. Right? That’s not flexible at all. And staying open-minded because I feel like one of the things that we did was because someone else told us, or we stumbled onto it or something, it was something that wasn’t even on our radar. Okay. So what about this? When we were in Hawaii and we were like hanging out, I can’t remember, is that the same place or a different place? Do you feel like we were open-minded when these people were like, yeah, you can go snorkeling here, just watch out for the eel. And we were like, Oh, we don’t know nothing about snorkeling with no eels. So we did not snorkel. Do you feel like we should have been more open-minded in that moment?

Jai: Uh, I mean, that’s, that’s hard to say. That’s hard to say, now if it was the only time we were going to snorkel? Maybe. Okay, got that one. That’s hard.

Jenny: I know it’s tough. Cause I mean, we’re talking about like a vacation type of trip, but it’s an example where this came up, but I’d also say that since I left corporate America, since I left the hustle, hustle, go, go, go. And honestly, for me, every time I hear in a forum or anytime, I’m like, you know, someone’s like really hustling hard. Like I can appreciate taking care of business and doing your things. But also at the same time, I always questioned like hustling hard, like. When you’re hustling so much that you literally are in the same place, three, six months down the line, you are craving change and you’re in the same place because you haven’t slowed down at all. You still have the same issues, the same problems, except for maybe you, you accomplish a few more goals. You may be made a little more money while that might’ve checked off some things that like totally excites you. You’re still having the same lifestyle issues where you’re tired. You’re don’t have any energy you’re running around like nuts.

Jai: I equate hustling to working hard. And some people might think, yeah, I’m a hard worker. What’s wrong with that. But like, I’m such a believer in working smarter, not harder, like maximizing, I think there’s a difference between like maximizing the things you can to, to move whatever for your business or whatever. And then just like having. A list of things to just check out, check off as like busy work to me like, Oh, I did this, I did this, I did this, I did this. But like how many of those things moved your business forward? And how many of those things were just like busy work. So are you like looking back on yesterday and been like, yo I did a hundred, 150 things today. But none of them really move the business forward. So like, what’s the difference you get, I’m a hustler.

Jenny: I mean, like I can speak into that a little bit because I’ve done that. And I’ve experienced that from, from the mindset of that like moment. Okay? Because if you’re, if you’re like, okay, you did a hundred things, didn’t even move the business forward. I could probably make an argument that a lot of it moved it forward. Yeah, you could probably call me on some of that and be like, Oh yeah, you’re right. Some of it was busy work or some of it maybe was a little much or a little excessive, but especially if I own my own business or if I, you know, come from that like thought process and mindset, um, I’m definitely like all of these things matter. So if I were just to like step into our business for a second and I was like, okay, well I hustled today. And like I said, even me saying some of these things, I don’t fully resonate with them anymore, although they do come in because I just don’t like feeling that extra, like anxiety and stress and frustration. But I do like the excitement that comes with being busy and having a lot of things to do.

Jai: But even, even with that though, being busy, like being busy, doesn’t excite me. Like I feel you can. And you just said something like if I own my own business, which would probably lead some people to think, Oh, well, if I’m an entrepreneur, I have to wear all the hats I have to do all the things like our word for this year is leverage. So no, no, you don’t have to wear all the hats. You don’t have to do all the things. If you’re a control freak, you may want to do those, all those things. But even that there’s a difference between having to and wanting to.

Jenny: yeah.

Jai: Because you could easily. Easily. If you’re, if you’re, and I say this with love, so no one gets upset when he’s like, Oh, I’m a control freak.  If you, if, if, if you are on your shit, that’s all I’m going to say. But like, if you know, you feel the need to control everything, it’s, it’s two things like don’t complain when you’re burnt out. If you feel the need to control everything or step into the strength and potential of that control and hand peck, pick you a bad-ass team. That does the things you need to do and find a way to control and the other in, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a way that moves you towards your goal. If that makes sense, if it doesn’t, I could try to clarify a little more.

Jenny: I think it makes sense because it still goes into the CTFO thing that we’re talking about, because you’re basically saying, Hey, Mr.Or Mrs. Control freak. I need you to chill. I need you to put some systems in place or put some things in place, or like trim down your schedule or really take a good look at what you’re doing and how you’re spending your time, which is basically also trusting the process. The thing is too is a lot of times, most of the time. What got us here, won’t get us there. And so that’s where the flexibility comes in, because if you still are wanting to operate the same way that you’ve operated for many, many years, and you’re not willing to be flexible and try some new things that could serve you way better. And then to being open-minded like, like being open-minded to these other ways. And I know, and I get it. Things are gonna be like, you’re gonna have to stretch a little things are going to be a little uncomfortable along the way. And even to, you may even. Go back into some of those old ways, habits, thoughts, and beliefs.

Jai: I think even like just filling the need to control the situation is a sign that you’re not trusting the process.

Jenny: Yeah. I mean, that’s, we could probably do a whole episode slash and or whatever, like a whole coaching series on that. We could probably do multiple coaching series on someone. Like if you’re feeling like. Control. Like if you, if you believe these kinds of things, you believe that I must control the situation. I have to work hard to be successful. Like if you believe some of these like hustler, I have to hustle now so that I can enjoy life later, if there’s, or, you know, like I can’t take care of my health until I make. XYZ and my business or XYZ goal. Like if these types of things you’re saying like, this is like, it’s, this is, this is what we do. This is where we help people like you, level up in your mind, emotional body, like all these things. But as you know, in order to level up, it takes that, that little thing between your ears or that big thing, or that medium-sized thing, whatever, man, like whatever size it is, that’s what it takes. It takes. Reprogramming, rewiring, working through this process and really digging up the old weeds and planting all new systems and all new belief, not all new, that makes it sound like really overwhelming, just new, new beliefs and systems that serve you.

Jai: Oh! Here’s the thing too. We’re habitual creatures. And I, you probably heard me say this like once in a million times and you’re gonna hear it again. Cause I feel it brings true that like we’re habitual creatures were creatures of habit. So when something happens. You have a certain behavior or, or thing that you go to and it’s looking at that habit or that thing and realizing that it no longer serves you. And then replacing that habit because I think people hear the word change and they get scared, right? That, that, that fight or flight thing kicks in. But it’s, it’s, it’s not that it’s something as simple as this habit no longer serves me. So if this habit no longer serves me, what is the habit that will serve me? And it’s something that’s simple is just replacing that habit with something that gets you closer to your goal. Right?

Jenny: Right. And that’s the whole purpose of this podcast and this episode, everything that we do to help you do that. All right. We said we were going to keep these a little shorter. So it’s time to cut off what you think? I honestly like, you know, you know where I was, you know, where I got that and I stopped. Cause it was so corny?

Jai: Yeah. Oh, full house.

Jenny: Yeah! Oh my God. You still picked up on it. I was like, it’s so corny. I’m not going to do it. Cut it out. All right guys. Gee, I wish you could see J space right now. It is not very happy. All right. Time to CTFO. Put that shit in your life. Hit us up on Instagram. Send us a message. Let us know how we can help you at the number two underscore J the letter J Holla, H O L L A follow us over there. If you’re on clubhouse, follow us on clubhouse at life adventurous and @thaphilosopher T H A Philosopher. And we are having all kinds of great chats in there too. That’s a way to connect with us live in that forum. Of course, you’ve got the podcast you’ve, you can hit us up, send us any ideas on what you want us to talk about or any way we can help you reach out and please reach out and we’ll do what we can to make you feel amazing.

Jai: Bye people! You can subscribe to the holistic life podcast from your favourite streaming platform. And don’t forget to check out to stay in the know as an official to 2J’s insider Mahalo for tuning in. And until next time, that’s our show.

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Season: Unfu*kwitableEpisode 81