Empowerment

*Intro*

Jenny: Hi…

Jai: What up y’all?

Jenny: I love you for that. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to another episode of the Hollastic life show. I am Jenny.

Jai: It’s always weird when we’re on the road and we have to record like this. Why not? Our user was set up, so..

Jenny: duh, who cares? Roll with it, with it, roll with it. Who are you? Do you know who you are? Who are you today?

Jai: Give me a second. I was so ready for something.

Jenny: I was so ready to do something else. Oh my God. Okay. So today’s topic is empowerment. And I’m going to tell you this. This is like our 55th time. No, really? It’s like our fourth time trying to record this and it just is freaking flopping.

It’s falling flat. So what I’m going to do is we may or may not talk about empowerment. We’re just going to talk. Fuck it, the name of that thing is empowerment. And I am embodying empowerment by talking about whatever the hell I want. How’s that? Yeah. You’re happy. Aren’t you giggling a lot more.

Okay. So here’s what I want to chat about. All right. We have been on a road trip for the past month. And we have been in Texas. And of course, back to the home state where Jai was born, we are back to the state of all the delicious foods that we have missed oh so dearly. And of course, here in the U S we just finished Thanksgiving holiday and.

I’m guessing that you’ve heard of Thanksgiving. If you have not, then it’s the holiday where I don’t know. I mean, it’s controversial because of bell Gromes and the turkeys and all that. But for sake of conversation, Thanksgiving, generally speaking is about giving thanks and gratitude for what you have in your life, but then eating a shit ton of food, right?

I mean, that’s really what hanging out with family and eating a shit ton of food or whatever. So with that being said, like, it’s like all these foods, especially for us, that we don’t regularly eat, you know, it’s like the Mac and cheese and the banana pudding and the stuffing and like just all the foods. So add that on top of Texas and all the foods that we love here.

So here’s what I want to talk about. What happened is when we came here, we were like, yeah, Texas woo it’s gonna be fun. Oh my God. Let’s eat all the foods I didn’t need. Okay. Then what happened is we were like, Oh shit. Hey, we’re in gaining a little bit of weight at like, at least for me. Uh, okay.

Jai: You finish your statement.

Jenny: Blindsided me and at home and our regular routine. We have a routine and I go play sports and I, you know, we’re active in different ways. And so, you know, when I’m playing three hours of volleyball, That obviously expends a certain amount of calorie burn and whatever, and it’s not even about calories, right.

I’m just saying like you’re active, right. And energy and all that stuff. Yeah. Everything. So being here in Texas and, you know, drive in the 17 hours from Florida over here, and then being in different environments and it’s different because at this point where I’m at in my life, we really talk a lot about, you know, do an activity that you love, do something you love.

Don’t just like work out to work out. Right. And so at this point, right now, I’m not really like that excited to do a grit workout or a whatever, like something hardcore. Like I want to go play sports, but that wasn’t available this trip. And so that’s where I got blindsided. Right. Cause I wasn’t prepared.

I wasn’t like thinking ahead, like, okay, I’m not going to have volleyball. I’m not gonna have softball. And I had to have soccer…

Jai: with the sports thing. I thought you meant blindsided by the like the gaining weight thing.

Jenny: Uh, kind of I was blindsided because what happened was, is I didn’t have sports and then I ate all the food and then I was like, Oh shit, I really didn’t think ahead and plan for this.

And what could have happen is I could have taken a hard left turn. And been like h my god. I’m sure fat. I’m going to stop eating or whatever. Go down, like self, what is it called? Deprivation. I don’t know. Just basically like beating myself up. I could have gone that route and beat myself up and talked about how stupid I was and Oh my God.

I’m fat. And honestly, I did not really like my thing, but I know there’s a lot. Right.

Jai: People, period. Yeah. Definitely. A lot of people do that too.

Jenny: Oh are you guys do this shit? Why not do it? Openly,

Jai: like y’all do it, but yeah, we do it!

Jenny: Don’t y’all me into that one. That’s what some women just said. They were like, don’t yell at me into that.

Jai: Hey, be real. Yeah. No, I mean, it’s definitely, I could have gone that way. Right. And that’s what I mean by blindsided. If I’m honest with myself, it definitely wasn’t blindsided. I kinda kind of saw and figured out, well, we went to Tennessee and kinda like. Started to go downhill from me from there, because it was like all the sweets it’s different when we’re home.

And we’re like, yo, we’re going to get this roll of cookies. When you get an Oreo package, you open the order, a package of cookies. No, but I’m talking about a lot, whatever they’re, whatever the fuck they’re called. So when we are home, you can get like a single serve cookies instead of getting the package.

Right. But while we’re in Tennessee, we had a stay-in chef who would make all the sweets, all the sweets. So there’s like, Oh, well we have chocolate. Or what kind of cookies do you like? Chocolate chip. Oh, I’ll make batches of cookies because I like baking. Right?

Jenny: Like she got out that big ass mixing bowl at the one that’s like the size of two heads, like two heads could probably maybe one, I don’t know, depending on the size of your head, like it was massive.

One of those big mixing bowls. The big, like mixers that auto makes for you. I swear she must’ve tripled that recipe.

Jai: So you have that, you have cookies on cookies, on cookies with pies and cookies and sweets and, and, and chocolate chocolate chip pancakes where it’s like, every time you bite into pancakes, you’re biting like five chocolate chips.

Right. So then. We come home, then we get on the road. You know what I’m saying? Stopping and eating. And, Oh, we got to try this here and we gotta try this there. We gotta try this here. And despite what you believe don’t believe or whatever, nutrition is, 80% of this health game. Especially if you’re trying to fuck even looking a certain way, if you’re trying to feel a certain way, nutrition plays a big part in all of this.

And so when you’re eating the quote unquote fake or processed foods, or like high sugar, anything, let me just be open and honest right now, no matter how good, bad or whatever it too much of anything. Could be detrimental, you know, so what we were definitely doing more of the sugary fried stuff, which adds on the pounds more quickly than…

Jenny: Well, especially if you’re not doing the same level of activity, right.

We sometimes eat that way at home. Not as much, not as much, but depending on what, like the activity level is it’s. You’re saying you didn’t feel blindsided.

Jai: My point was it wasn’t a shocker getting into something and be like, Oh, this feels a little tight over the past couple of weeks for me, from my point of view.

Jenny: I think the thing that I would like to celebrate.

Is that, and this is maybe where we can tie empowerment in is I know, right? I think the thing I like to celebrate is that when I realized, Oh shit, my activity level, this isn’t working, right. This is, this is not going to work. I’m just glad. And I’m very proud that I did not like crash and burn. Because I think at that point it would be very easy to like beat yourself up and go down that path and be angry and frustrated, and I know better.

And why couldn’t I do this? And that’s just show draining. But the thing is, is if that’s like your coping mechanism, if that’s your go-to, if that’s normally how you process. It’s like, oddly this comfort, but it’s this comfort that doesn’t serve you. It’s the comfort that actually destroys you and talking to yourself like that is very, very destructive.

And so if you find yourself beating yourself up, right. Cause especially look here’s, what’s going on. It’s December it’s the holidays are about to go into a new year. Freaking 2020 was a fluster cluck, which is why the season was called fluster cluck because it was. Fucking crazy in so many ways. Right?

And now here we are like turning the year towards the new year and the holidays and you’re eating more and, Oh my God, why couldn’t I do better? What’s wrong with me? I always screw up. Some of these thoughts can creep in and honestly, it’s just. Not worth it. And I get it. You sometimes that you can’t just flip a switch and just be done with all those thoughts.

It’s a process. It’s a growth process. It’s a mindset thing. It’s a self-awareness thing. When you are ready to change these things, you can, you can have a life. You can have a lifestyle where your automatic response is not beating yourself up.

Jai: Or just, I mean, yeah, that’s definitely on the, well, I don’t want to call it the extreme.

Jenny: but it is extreme because it’s so hurtful to yourself.

Jai: It is extreme. I, I get it intellectually, but I didn’t want to put that out there into the universe is in, you know, more like extreme is like, Oh my God, now I’m doing something extreme.

Jenny: Okay. I get that. I mean, I guess like, I feel like if I was listening and someone said that’s extreme, I’d be like, wait, I thought this was normal because I’ve thought that before, because when I worked with Danielle, he was on our, he was on our show and…

Jai: that makes sense.

I was going to take it from a different angle, but yes. That is a thing to be self-aware of how you talk to yourself in these situations. But as you learn, as you grow, as you, as you become more aware, I mean, cause there’s always another level coming in Texas. I knew we were going to overeat, know what I’m saying?

And it was like going into some places, making that conscious decision. No matter my level of, of, of knowledge in this area, it was still a conscious decision. Yo, I’m going to go to Torchy’s I’m having three tacos when really one taco in the large queso, it would be at night. Fuck that shit one taco and a half queso.

So it wouldn’t be enough. You know what I’m saying? But it’s like, fuck that. I want the taco, the mother’s what? Naughty Santa fuck. Yes, yes, yes. Give me one of my two usuals. And since we’re waiting for food and we’ve gone through. Two baskets of chips already. We want another half queso. Okay. So you know what I’m saying?

It’s, it’s, it’s being aware. Certain instances too, like the Shipley’s things. Chip leads donuts. We have one in Brighton, right? As his trash. Hey, you’re in Bradington, Florida. And you’ve had that ship pleasing. You think is great. You need to make a trip to Houston, Texas and get some real Shipley’s donuts.

I’m just saying. So I kind of knew, you know what I’m saying? Having Shipley’s going back to West Texas, having those donuts. I grew up with having those restaurants I grew up with, but like saying, okay, the morning we were in Midland saying, okay, we’re probably going to go to two different donuts spots. I don’t need to eat four donuts at each spot.

I can have two here and two there because the amount of sugar and lard and whatever that goes into like this donut, if I overdo it, I’m probably going to be sleepy and it’s eight o’clock in the morning. So saying, okay, I can get two. And if I just feel the urge to want more, we can swing by on the way out.

It’s not that crucial, although it might mentally seem that crucial at the time, but it’s really not. So for me, that was a different level of self-awareness. I’m good on Shipley’s. I’m good. And there’s been times where this is also interesting in a husband and wife partnership and live with me with Southern.

Sometimes one person is on the other person is off and in the past, I’ve suffered from FOMO where Jenny’s like, yo, I’m going to get Shipley’s and I’m like, yo, I’m good. She’s like, You better be? Cause I’m not giving up any of my fucking donuts. So don’t you ask? Right? I’m like, nah, I’m good. Nothing Bundt cakes.

Y’all I’m going to get a bundt cake. All right. I’m good. And then there’s been other times where it’s on the other end of the spectrum. Like, yo, I’m getting this, but she’s more, Oh baby. We don’t need that. When the fuck this she know what you get to do? What you want to do? I want to do what I want to do. So it’s, it’s different level of.

Self-awareness from going to that, that negative self-talk of why can’t I do this? Like, what’s wrong with me? All that good stuff. And to saying, okay, I made this conscious decision, but this doesn’t have to be the decision going forward, or I can still do this, but I don’t have to overindulge.

Jenny: I think to see, I knew empowerment will come in naturally when those things happen.

And like you said, the negative self-talk. And the growth there and the empowerment to feel like you’re in control and feel like you have the ability to make the decisions that serve you. And it’s not about good or bad, like, Oh, I did so bad. Oh, I ate so bad. I did so bad. Right. Because that’s just a different connotation energy.

It’s like, You know what that happened. This is why I’m proud because I didn’t like spiral out. Right. Because it’s very easy to have that happen. Beat yourself up, spiral out in the like, okay. I mean, not a cookies. You either go fuck it. And you eat it all and self-sabotage even deeper or you all okay. I’m getting serious.

And then you. Do 70 workouts a day for a week and you go eat salads every day and you hate life, you know? And then it just makes it worse. Right? So the thing is, is like this, I think this is where the empowerment comes in because you’re like, okay, especially as you learn and grow, because it’s a process it’s about being 1% better.

It’s like, okay, that happened. Got it. Noted. I have learned. And I know, especially if you’ve been listening to his podcast for awhile, you’ve been picking up on some of the big things being 1% better, being able to practice five minute habit, be able to do those things right. To be able to go back to the basics, to be able to go back and say, you know what, I know what to do, and I can do this in a way that serves me.

I can do this in a way that is on my terms. And actually one of my favorite conversations is one of our past clients. She called. And she was like, Oh my God, I’m so excited. This is the first holiday. Then I’ve been able to save her the food and need exactly what I want on my terms. And I lost a couple pounds.

She made all of the decisions and felt so empowered in her decisions with what she was doing to where she was able to just. Savor everything savor the moment, feel really good about it. Right. And I think that is powerful, fucking awesome. It’s powerful. That’s what it is like each and every day we have the opportunity to make choices.

And I mean, I pulled up the definition of empowerment and I just wanna, I want to touch on that for a second because. I’m always curious, right? We use these words and culture and get all excited about them and rah, rah. But I was just curious, like, what does the dictionary say? And really the dictionary, one of the definitions here is the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life.

And claimings one’s rights. That’s really what it is, you know, because the negative self-talk is more of self-sabotage victim behavior, you know, things like that, that don’t serve you. We feel like it’s serving us, but it’s not right. It’s like making things worse and continuing down that path versus you’re like, all right, like I’m not going to do that.

We meet it’s fine. It’s not the end of the world. I have. The power to make a better decision to move me in the direction of my goals. You can change the direction and trajectory of your life at any moment. It starts with one decision and then the decision, small decisions that build on each other, the small practices, the small habits that build on each other that, that create change.

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*Outro*