Finding Mentors + Coaches in the Most Unlikely Ways

*Intro Music*

Jenny: What up, friends? What up Ohana. Welcome to The Hollastic Life show. I am Jenny. One of your hosts.

Jai: I am the other host – Jai.

Jenny: Thank you for saying your name so proud of you. Oh my God. Just imagine someone coming and they’re like, well, they probably like that you’re the other guy. Hey, I love that other guy. Not everybody reads. I don’t sometimes just listen listening to this podcast.

Jai: Okay. All right, come on. I was in the driver’s seat for the other episode.

Jenny: Oh, Oh, okay. So. Last week’s episode, you got Jai in the driver’s seat. This week episode, I was in the passenger seat. He quickly shifted to me in the driver’s seat before we started. And here we go. Jai: Chinese taxi cab.

Jenny: Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, you’re up? Okay. So today we’re going to chat a little bit about mentors, share some inspiration, some cool stories. And if you don’t have a mentor, We are going to share all the different ways that a mentor could show up and of course, I don’t know, maybe even some inspiration on how to find one because, well, first of all, mentor, I don’t know if we want to break down the word because I’m thinking like mentors and coaches. What’s the difference?

Jai: That’s a good question. I don’t really think there is a big difference because they’re very similar.

Jenny: Right. But I feel like a coach, a coach, you don’t have to because you got sports coaches, but usually, you know, like if I’m thinking personal development, right. Usually a coach, I feel like as someone you have a formal relationship with, who’s going to coach you to get a certain result. And usually there’s an exchange of money when it comes to a coach. Of course, anybody can be a coach. I can coach you for free. Wee, right. But I feel like that, that falls more into the mentorship category. The mentorship is when you’re mentoring a kid or you’re mentoring other peers, which are very similar. Right. But I would say that a mentor relationship comes in a less formal format than coaching.

Jenny: Because for example, one of the examples of a mentor that we’re going to share is Julie & Cathy from Funnel Gorgeous. We consider the mentors. But we’re not in a formal business relationship with them. We use their blogs and their podcasts and their different tools to be able to learn from them. Versus if we were to go into one of their paid coaching programs.

Jai: I also feel that there are some kind of like, and I’m sitting here rattling my brain, trying to find the difference, but there are some paid mentorships.

Jenny : Absolutely. Absolutely. There definitely could be. I’m sure that the two words can be used interchangeably because you could even say our business coach is also our mentor, right. The point is, is you don’t always have to pay for a mentor. Mentors can show up or coaches, if you want to call them a coach, too, right?

They can show up in many different forms and fashion. Sometimes it’s in the form of a book because one book could literally change your life. One book can completely change the trajectory. One book. One book, one video, one podcast.

Jai: Putting you on the spot. What would be that book for you?

Jenny: I’ve had so many different ones because I felt like the books come all at different reasons, different times, right? Different times. I mean, from a business perspective, Profit First really stands out because profit first is like, Hey, as a business owner, you still got to pay yourself versus all these business owners should usually pay themselves last. Profit First flips that and says pay yourself first, but make sure you still have enough to go around for all the different categories of your business.

Right? One of the other ones that stands out to me that I really loved was Supreme Influence by Niurka. I really liked that book. I haven’t picked that book up in a while, but it’s really just about language and how we work with ourself. And at the time like that book was really powerful for me.

Another one is hold tight. I just can’t remember what it’s called. Another one that was super powerful for me when I was really in a toxic environment in corporate was, Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn. And that book hit me right between my eyes and really helped to shift me out of some negativity and some toxic thoughts into a more positive, energetic, uh, energy, like how you guys witnessed me, but just like a higher vibrational, what you’re attracting into your life. What about you?

Jai: Definitely the one that comes to mind is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People? I think that’s what it’s called, but that one only because it showed how you keep people around, you know what I’m saying? The things you do to keep customers coming back and just how you could basically insert any situation and the information I held true. Another one was Three Feet From Gold.

Jenny: And I feel like that’s where we’re at right now.

Jai: God. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So very much. But that one, if you guys haven’t heard the story of the same three feet from gold is like, you know, you’re digging, you’re digging, you’re digging, you’re digging and digging and or there was. Right anyway. Yeah. Yeah. I’m paraphrasing. But yeah, when you say you give up, because you’re going too long, too far out, you’re exhausted. And if you would have went a little further, you would have struggled. So this particular book was. It’s interesting. Cause it was kind of like this non-fictional personal development type of thing.

It was this guy who was down on his luck, you know what I’m saying? He hated his job. And he was basically at his end and he met this guy who basically introduced him to all these CEOs and he kinda like went around and interviewed and helped him. And it just switched his life. Very. Very dope book.

Enjoyed it. Another one for me, definitely not personal development is actually an autobiography. I guess that’s what you call it. But one of the members of the greatest hip hop group of all times, Wu Tang Clan, U-God, he wrote a book called RAW, basically talking about what happened. While he was with the Wu Tang Clan while he still with the Wu Tang Clan.

But like those earlier, earlier times and nineties, and just like growing up in the projects, being in New York, coming from nothing and the experience to having everything and how that changed his life and how he used that to do other things. So that for me, Was just an example of like, you can have absolutely nothing, but if you just follow your dream and just continue with it, big things.

So yes, like all of those people, some of them no longer living, cause Dale Carnegie is gone for some time, but we’re like mentors and aspects. So yeah, from the book point of view, definitely.

Jenny: As you can see, like mentors, coaches can show up and just enter your life for a short period of time, or they can be a continual mentor or come and go, or be a part of your life for a much bigger period of time.

Right. And so another thing I was thinking here with this is your going to get back from that mentor relative to the amount that you given. Give to that mentor. I don’t know if that makes sense. Let me try to say it a different way. Yeah. So if someone wrote a book or whatever, right? Like it’s up to you to take the information from that book and apply it to your life.

Right. Okay. Whatever, like the mentor, put it out there. It’s up to you to do something with it and you could really run with it and have great results. But if you’re going to have a, or like phone mentorship experience with someone, maybe someone who has had more, I’m just thinking like, you know, someone’s have more success than you.

It’s informal coaching. You’re going to talk to them here and there. They’re going to nudge you along point you in the right direction, that type of mentorship. I mean, they’re giving their energy to you, right? You can still get massive results, but you have to show up, you have to meet them halfway. And honestly you should be meeting them more than halfway, right.

Because if you’re not paying for a mentorship, I mean, that’s that person who’s trying to help you succeed in some of you don’t know. Cause maybe it’s just someone just looking out for your greater good and kind of nudging you along. Right. But I can think of one of my good friends now. And actually he used to be my old boss in corporate America. Roger. I learned so much from Roger. I learned so much from Roger from a corporate growth standpoint for my career, but also for my life. And we talk a lot as friends, but also I’ll call them up and I’m like, Hey man, I need your advice. And he gets so excited and I think he lights up inside and he’s like, yes, you’re right.

I got some wisdom to share with you, young grasshopper, you know, excited. But it’s a great relationship because I looked him and I call him for certain types of things. Right. You know, if I think of like another mentor that was really powerful to me growing up as Johnny Rodman and honestly, yeah. Coach Johnny, like. He’s passed and he was my softball coach. Pretty much, like in some key years through high school, you know, we played really competitive softball. He taught us a lot of great things. He would always pick me up and we’d always ride with him in his van off to the softball games. And he doesn’t yell at us if we couldn’t get a bunt down or we didn’t execute something, he would be like, I’m going to go pick up some girls at the local pizza joint. They’re going to be better than you buffoons. You monkeys! Like can, you know, he would just like be yelling at us. Like you guys are idiots. Come on, I’m going to go get up the local girls. And then we were like, well, but I mean, I still kept in touch with him through college. And he’s actually the one who really pushed me to go to Rio Grande, which is where I went and Southeastern Ohio.

And I did not want to go there because I wanted to go big. Right. And him encouraging me to go there was one of the biggest things that helped me out through college because I came out of college without student loans and I play three sports and I did two study abroad and. It was like the best thing ever.
So anyways, we’d keep touch. Right. And he’d always give that little, like piece of wisdom, that little nugget, and then the little nugget always came with some kind of crazy story that I remember from softball. He’d be like, remember that time when you were rounding third and CG was on first and I was screaming at you and then we won by like, one run and you slid into home. He jumped over the girl. I don’t remember any of that, but do you remember that game where Emily hit that runner right between the eyes? Cause I told her too, she didn’t actually hit her between the eyes, but that’s always like a term and softball like hit her right between the eyes, you know, like basically like give her a pitch. Freak her out. So then she’ll screw up. Go high up around her chin go around her waist. Bring it. So anyways, Johnny R, great guy, sad to see him gone. I’ve actually tried to like pick up my phone and call him a couple of times since he’s passed, like Johnny right now. What about you mentors? Personal mentors, whatever you want to talk about.

Jai: I kind of find mentors everywhere. We know silly shows that I watch on Netflix. Like you come in and like, why are you watching cartoons?

Jenny: But do you still feel like that’s a mentor or just a lesson?

Jai: Very good question. And I’m going to say yes to both because even though the character is not my personal mentor per se, the lesson or the information or that little nugget that he’s giving is still mentor type advice. It’s not like, okay, so this is just, I don’t know, a character on the show, whatever. It’s just like, yo, that was good. So I’m going to use it because there was something there which kind of goes to our point. Like you can find mentors. That was the same. I mean, based on what you said, I hear like a little bit of a silver lining there. Cause it’s like, if you’re sitting there thinking, Oh, I’ve never had a mentor, then maybe it’s time to let the blinders fall off and just look, look for nuggets of wisdom. Look for messages as crazy.

Jai: As silly as this may sound cliche as a mentor. This is our dog, by the way, he’s just like, Hey, I love you. I don’t need anything else, but I just want you to know.
Jenny: You know, this reminds me of, because you may be going, what, dog’s a mentor, are you kidding? But this reminds me of like the idea that if you wake up every day and you’re like, your only expectation is if you are alive, when you wake up, it’s a great day.

Right, right. And. From that point, everything can be absolutely amazing, but if you wake up and have a completely different set of expectations, that’s really high. That’s really tough to meet. You’re going to be let down every day. So it’s almost like if you’re thinking like, Oh my God, I have to have this mentor. Who’s going to like completely change my life. And I’m going to be a millionaire from working with them right. While that could be a possible mentor in your life. It’s almost like if that is what you are describing as your mentor or coach. And you don’t have that in your life. It’s time to maybe shift your perspective, especially if you’re saying the dog could be a mentor.

Jai: Yeah. He’s sitting, he’s looking outside, he’s present. There’s a big freaking tree in front of the window and he doesn’t care. Right. He’s just chilling, witnessing.

Jenny: And he would love if we went and laid down with him right now, he’d be like, yes. And it just shows you like love, especially when things are going crazy in the world, your pets can be there just to help ground you and bring love to you.

Jai: So, yeah. So mentorship, because we’re all about redefining realigning and redesigning. I don’t even know what the typical definition of mentor is, but you can find a mentor, anywhere.

Jenny: So a mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor.

Jai: I trust him. He lets me know when shit is about to pop off outside. I’m even thinking like, you know how the saying is surround yourself with people who’ve been where you want to go. You know what I’m saying? Those can be mentors. So like if you’re, the wealthiest and smartest individual in your circle, like where else is there for you to go, what else can you be exposed to that’s going to grow? because there’s no growth there because you’re the number one person. But if you’re surrounded by other people who are doing more, who are seeing more, we’re seeing more. It’s going to, but it should push you out of that comfort zone. You don’t want to do better. Even in our little mastermind, how many times have you listen to other people when it’s not like hearing their stories and saying, Oh, I wish I was there or being jealous or whatever, and be like, okay. Yes, this is what they’re doing. Yes, yes. I want to do that. I want to do that. Not to compare, but it’s an example of what’s possible. You know what I’m saying? A model of possibility, but if you’re the top dog in your crew, there’s no model of possibility. That’s kind of a ceiling because you are where everyone else is trying to get. So then if you crack the ceiling and you’re surrounded by other people, you’re like, okay, that’s possible. It’s kind of like when you get your first job, you’re making $8. Holy crap. I’m making money. Right. Then you get some skills, you learn some more, you build up your resume, then you make $15. Right? You’re like, Holy crap. I was working 40 hours a week and I’m only working 20, but I’m still making the same amount that I was at 40. Then you start making $50. So then you have a whole new model of possibility. That’s what I feel mentors do for you. They push you further, you know what I’m saying? They kind of challenge what you think is possible for yourself and the ceiling. And for your life. Yeah. They challenge your ceiling and push you to break through that ceiling too low boundaries. Right. And what we’re saying is you don’t have to pay somebody to do that.

Jenny: I’m going to add, you don’t have to, but I think it depends on your level of just sheer determination, ability to take action and hold yourself accountable because success leaves clues. So there’s clues all over. Right.

Jai: I said not paid because depending on your situation where you are, you might not be in a position to pay a mentor.

Jenny: You’ll have to have that grit, that determination. You still have to have the ability to take action and the ability to hold yourself accountable. Because we can listen to something amazing or read something amazing from a book, but if you’re not willing to do so, put into action and apply it, right. It doesn’t matter. I mean, honestly, there’s so much available out there on the different mentors to follow. I mean, you could probably piece a lot of what it takes to open a business or learn how to play guitar or lose weight or fill in the blank. Right. You could do all that your own and find a mentor. Whether it be someone you actually like find in person to talk to, who’s willing to coach you along somewhere.

Right? Like you could easily do that. However, it’s still going to take, I strongly believe those three things because it didn’t take the determination to keep it looking, and you gotta be able to put all this stuff together in a way that makes sense. Cause sometimes the thing is the information’s out there, It’s just not always in a step one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Yeah. Right. A lot of free information out there. So you have to be willing to kind of weed through, but also be inquisitive. And willing to ask the questions and be able to find the solutions that’s where the determination comes in and then the application and the action of that information and the accountability for yourself.

Right? Because I feel like when you step into a formalized coaching program or a formalized mentorship program or something where you are going to pay money, you’re basically paying for someone to help you with all the time that would take you to find all that information, right? So all the information is clear. Here’s what it is. Here’s the steps do this, but then they’re also helping you bust through that limit of the ceiling or helping to hold you accountable to helping you to grow. They’re helping you to get that result faster. A good mentor, a good coach, especially if you’re stepping into a paid program. Cause if it’s a non-paid program, it just depends because like in the speaking world, when I was following the route of doing a professional speaking career, there’s a lot of people offer mentorship, but someone like Willie Jolley, who’s given a ton of speeches. I remember him saying one of his talks. She was like, a lot of people always come up to me and they’re like, how do I do it? You do. And I don’t remember exactly what he said, but something along the lines where he would say, all right, we’ll go give. Hundred speeches to whatever local Toastmasters and lions clubs and whatever. Go do that. And then come back to me. He said, it’s rare that people actually come back. So they don’t want to go do that because they’re like, well, that’s not it. That’s not what I’m supposed to do. Why would I want to do that? And he’s like, well, that’s what you do. We have the option. Right? We have the choice. When we get information from that mentor, do we take action on it? Or do we feel like that that’s not the action we want to take. Sometimes maybe you try to go down a path thinking you want it. Right. And then you’re like, really? That’s what it takes. That’s not what I want. Right. I mean, even with health and wellness, bodybuilder, or not even bodybuilder… ripped abs like someone who looks really fit, right. You’re like, I want that. And then once you start going down that path and you’re like, how do I get that and they’re like, okay, well, you’re going to meal plan and you’re going to weigh it on a scale and you’re going to eat a certain amount, certain amount of times a day. And it’s going to be very specific and very precise with macros. Like, here’s what I do. And then I work out this style and this way, with this level of intensity, I do this to compliment it.

Like they’re going to lay it out. And a lot of people are going to go. No, I don’t want to do that. Really. That’s what I have to do. Right. If you’re talking on the free side, a lot of people, especially someone who’s had a level of success, a lot of people ask them for advice. Right. And so they need to see some level of action right there.

Jai: Did that determination, that will, because it’s like, what you’re telling me is you want my success, but what you’re not showing me is your commitment to get the success because it is a level of commitment.

Jenny: So I think that’s the other factor when you’re talking about coaches or mentors or whatever, and you started talking about this, it’s like, Who are the people who have done successfully what you want to do. Right. And sometimes we don’t know, sometimes that’s part of the journey. We think we want something and we start to explore them and realize I don’t want that. Right. That’s okay. That’s fine. That’s part of the growth, but really looking, I feel like as we started talking, there’s different people and mentors and lessons that can be learned, life lessons that can be learned from podcasts and books and whatever.
But if you wanting to achieve a certain result, you need to be very specific in the mentors and coaches that you reach out to, paid or not to make sure that that’s the route you want to go. Right. And I can give a perfect example because I worked with Delatorro McNeal. Who’s a keynote speaker and he had all kinds of speaking programs. And I really thought I wanted to be a keynote speaker. Cause I didn’t know any different. I was like, yeah, I want that really do. And I invested a lot of time and money and published my book. I was on a reality TV show. Like there’s a lot that I got from that, but like deep down. Yeah. I don’t think keynote speaking is what I really want to do. Right. So it’s almost like someone who’s as successful and wonderful as Delatorro is it becomes this thing where it’s like, he’s not my mentor anymore because that’s not what I want. Right. He can only really help me get to that or something similar compared to if I want to go totally different direction and be a retreat leader.

Like he could help me only so far. Cause he doesn’t lead retreats. That’s not his area of expertise. Right. Although they’re both speaking. It’s totally different level. It’s two totally different businesses, two different models, two different acquisition. He could still help. He still knows how to get business.

Right. But we’re talking like specific. So it’s being specific and where you want to go. Totally agree.

Jai: I was thinking, you know, we’re hanging out with your brother and his girlfriend and just don’t I think we pulled up some of your old YouTube videos. And get a text message this morning, like he’s super hyped.

He was like, alright, this is what I want to do. And what kind of equipment do I need? Do you feel that’s a form of mentorship, like in an indirect kind of the way it’s kind of like, you’ve inspired somebody to do this thing. Cause I mean, I would say it’s kinda, or maybe not. Uh, just, you know, jumping.

Jenny: I would say by definition of what we talked about before, if a cartoon and your dog can be a mentor, then yes, that’s a form of mentorship.

However, when it goes from the informal versions of mentorship, right. Where we can just learn gems and we can grow from things in our environment and resources and books and shows and podcasts to where it becomes more of a. Formal mentorship, even if it’s not like it’s an unsaid. Cause I feel like that’s maybe where you were at.

It’s like an unspoken. Yeah, I think it just depends because I think it’s a ready, willingness enable on both parts. If it’s going to step into that next level. Because there’s advice, you can give advice, you know, reach out, Hey, how do I do this or that? But it’s like, does that person keep coming back to you or keep consuming your content, your books, your video, whatever it is that you’ve put out into the world, are they still like wanting to. Continued to learn whether you know about it or not. Right. So yeah, it could be a mentorship or be a mentor in that factor, but I think it just depends when you actually know the person, are they continuing to come back and trying to learn from you?

Or is it just one little blip and you helped them and you inspired them because, I mean, yeah, you can be inspiring. I think that falls in that category of mentorship, like the dog in the show.

Jai: So guys there’s numerous forms of mentorship, two major ones. So more informal as Jen, just so beautifully broke down. Formal is more specific. Like her examples..

Jenny: Some kind of a container, right? Because formal is like you said, it could be paid or unpaid, but it’s like, Hey person, will you mentor me. Right? Cause mentor, traditionally, I feel like, is known as like a non-paid thing where you’re reaching out to someone it’s not always this way, but this is the way I’ve experienced in my life. I’m younger and I’m reaching out to someone older, who’s wanting to give back. Right. And you see this within communities and networking communities and whatever. If you’re looking for a mentor, traditionally, a mentor is a non-paid thing where someone is willing to give back to the community and help someone younger or someone at the beginning of the path, right. Reach down and help lift them and help them step up into the next path.

Jai: And when you say that, like three things comes to mind, we said mentoring and coaching, but like the third one that just popped up was kind of like internship, but that’s definitely more specific. We definitely don’t have to touch on that, but I feel like all three of those things, it’s kind of like if you guys could see you have three circles, right? You have mentor, coaching, internship, and they’re separate, but you know, there’s this place in the middle where they all kind of intersect.

Jenny: Like a Venn Diagram.

Jai: Yeah. I knew what it was, but not what it was called per se. So yeah, I will not confirm nor deny that I will or well not ever use it again. I remember that that was called a Venn diagram. Anyways. So yeah, no, I see.

Jenny: I was going to kinda like give a little smack around there, but I’m going to leave that one for after I stop recording, but yeah, no, I mean, I just drew it here on this paper and it’s true because yes.

And an internship you’re being coached, you’re being mentored, you’re learning, but obviously it has a very specific purpose and intention. And too, I would go to say that sometimes in an internship, you don’t really care for your mentor, your coach. Right. And you’re paired with that person. Not necessarily.

Yeah. You did not seek them out they were just flopped with you. You still could learn something from them, but right. Learned from them. Right. You’re trying to get that paid actual job offer trying to get that thing right from Bob. Right, right. You’re going to be like, okay, Bob seems cool, but he’s not the type of dude I want to be, you know?

Yeah. So if you’re listening and you’re feeling a little, like, womp. I don’t have a mentor. Oh my God. I wish I had one. Okay. Which could be happening. Cause I’ve thought that before, too, like, man, I would just wish I had this like magical mentor. Right. I remember some of the things we talked about earlier where it’s like the mentor can show up in multiple ways and if you’ve ever heard the saying about like, money, right? Like if you’re a steward with the small bills and the small coins, right. Then the bigger bills can come into your life. If you can take care of what you have, you’re not going to get more, are they can’t take care of what you have. Yeah. So if you haven’t had that unicorn mentor that you’ve been dreaming of, and you’re feeling a little bit like sad about right now is look to these other experiences in your life and see where you can learn, whether it, because you can go get books from the library, you can do a book swap program. Like there’s so many ways to get free type of coaching and mentorship. That completely change you. Like they can change your life. So it’s like start there and all of that can be mentors and kind of get your vibe and your flow and start putting some of that into action.

Jai: The cool thing about YouTube is there’s a hundred different things for the same topic. So someone might teach one way that you’re not really vibing are flowing with. You can pick somebody else. And that’s the cool thing, kind of like we were saying with the internship and Bob, you don’t have to be taught by Bob. Like you could pick your mentor in these other things and that’s, what’s so awesome about it in my opinion, because I definitely would not find a corporate mentor or coach. Right.

Jenny: It’s just like, when you’re going to be hiring people in your business, you don’t just take somebody cause they’re close. Right? Oh, look, my friend’s kid needs a job. Let me hire them. Right. Although, I mean, it depends on what the job is, right? Like if you have a brick and mortar building and the job is to pick up trash like something that’s real simple. Like I remember I made boxes when I was in college. Like it really didn’t matter. So culture is important. I mean, I just feel like, you know, I don’t know, my dad paid me to like drop off his receipts of the accountant. Like whatever, like, you know, if you just need like a task or something like that done, but if you’re looking to build a culture, right, like you don’t just hire the person because they’re available. Yeah. You want to find the right fit. So anyways, I mean, Basically just want to encourage you. Heck we might even be your mentors, right? Like there may be things that we talk about that inspire you or that you learned from us or that you want to achieve, or you want to manifest in your own life. Right.

Could just be the simple fact that Jai and I are married and we have a business together. How on earth did they do that? Right. You know, like, and maybe you’re just looking to learn as a model of possibility that this is something you could potentially have in your own life. Right. So we love you. You’re part of our Ohana.
You are a part of our Ohana, Ohana means family. If that’s your first time hearing it.

Jai: Family means no one gets left behind.

Jenny: Yes. And that was part of our wedding actually. With the turtle because sea turtles always find their way back home, even if they’re lost. All right, guys, go find that mentor, send us your stories and your inspiration.

Of course always send us what you’d like to hear more of send us a mail. Electronic mail. You could send us something if you want. We… like right now, like packages are like a big deal. So you can send us the package if you want. But you know, you can keep electronic, you can hit us up on social, or of course you can come to our website, www.2JHolla.com. Let us know how you like the website.
If we got like a hundred requests. He’s not, but we might hire a team of graphic designers if y’all really want and love it, then he can maybe set it up. Maybe if you saw his face, I don’t know. He’s processing this right now. We’re going to be a wellness lifestyle company who also creates websites. Cause we’re perfect together. Anyways, check out the site and holidays. All right. See you guys later.

*Outro*