When you’re an entrepreneur, business owner or even simply an A-Type, it can feel incredibly uncomfortable to have your plans or routines interrupted. It can leave you feeling insecure and vulnerable. However, life happens and things can change at a rapid pace without notice. So, in this episode, Jenny and Jai discuss how to up your unfuckwithablility by adopting a more flexible mindset and letting go of rigidity.

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Jenny  Welcome to another episode of the holistic life Show. I’m Jenny, I’m here, he’s Jai. And we are in the unfuckwithable season. And we’re sitting here chatting because the seasons are coming to a close here, we’re talking about what we’re going to do next season. And we were thinking about what we really wanted to bring to the conversation today. And we decided just to have a real conversation here about something that we noticed from our Nomad trip, that really is definitely a key part of becoming unfuckwithable, and that is being flexible, but flexibility that I’m talking about that we’re going to be talking about today. While it is important to be flexible, like a yogi, it’s not that type of flexibility, it’s the flexibility of, you know, your life and in different situations and the adaptability, of what that is. So being flexible. So we’re in multiple, different environments, we’re staying in all these different places. And as we bring our stuff in, and we unpack and we get used to the new layout, the new energy, the new environment, I was just thinking, like how flexible and how this experience is helping us to really just release any potential attachments to the things that lead to expectations or things that like the way that we feel like things should be or need to be. Because I feel like when we become really rigid, and we become very just the word that comes up again, is expecting things to go a certain way. That’s when it causes us to be frustrated and to be thrown off and end up having this bad day. You know, I just think of, you know, the prime example that in our society is you have older people who are very, sometimes very angry. And I feel like it’s because they just get so set in their ways. And they become so rigid, and they get used to things because maybe they’re not being exposed to as much anymore, when we even maybe saw a glimpse of those not angry people talking about that. But even just thinking about the villages where we stayed. Yes, everything is there, right? You have all of the golf and the pools and the fun, the activities and the live music, like you don’t ever have to leave that village, or that area. And we were telling our other friends that the village is so cool and fun. And it is. But think about it. Someone told us that I love it here, I don’t even go on vacation anymore. I don’t I don’t need everything here. But then you’re just seeing that same environment in that same space. And you’re not exposed to other things.

Jai  That’s a different conversation. Because some of those people don’t want to be exposed to anything else. And flexibility in that situation could be the boy, you usually go to his clothes. So you go to the one that’s 45 minutes away via a golf cart. So yeah, I still feel there’s flexibility in that particular situation. And it’s not about being if we’re talking about being flexible, and like the rigidness of not exposure to other things. Like it’s two different conversations.

Jenny  Well, I guess my point was with us being on this trip and us being exposed to multiple areas, states, cities, people, it helps keep us flexible. Because if we were in the same place with the same city and the same expectations, and then we go somewhere, something comes into our life, that’s not what we’re used to, we get frustrated. So my point was one of the ways that we can stay flexible is through exposure, the more things that we’re exposed to. And you’re right, you made another point about the villages that is true. And it may not be may not have been a good example.

Jai  Oh, no, it’s not saying it wasn’t a good example.

Jenny  Or it’s a good example for that point. The point of exposure

Jai  Well, and I’m just saying but even even in the villages there’s an aspect of flexibility but expectations Yes, it’s kind of like picking places where there’s only outdoor stuff you know, the expectation of Oh, I want to see the world I want to see the country which is cool, but that’s not the only thing that’s going on in the United States. As we saw from being in Alabama. There wasn’t a lot of outdoor where we were we’re more in the burbs, close to like a college town or whatever. So, yes, there were probably nice little parks or whatever. But you know, if you have an expectation of I’m no madding around the country to see The great outdoors or whatever, and you’re at a place because the the prices right, and it’s just a great situation for that particular time, you might not have access to that stuff or you might have to drive further. Or you look for other things like the history of that particular city, the culture there, there’s other things to be found. So if you know you’re like, going somewhere, you’re like, Oh my god, I wanted to see waterfalls or whatever, but I can’t. So this trip is ruined. I mean, being flexible is looking for the silver lining and everything. And that may sound pie in the sky or overly optimistic, but it is what it is we choose our reality. So I agree with the expectation thing, like if you’re having expectations are whatever, you’re cutting out the flexibility, you’re cutting out a chance to view awesome and amazing stuff. Like the canyons in Georgia, we went to I don’t like being outside when it’s hot. I don’t like bugs. I’m hypersensitive to some sounds. So the buzzing just drives me nuts, sweating my ass off walking miles and miles. I’m not a fan of that. But I was open to doing that. Because looking back at the pitches, but looking back at the videos, sometimes in the moment, you can’t appreciate the beauty for what it is. So being open and being flexible, to try something different. Even if you don’t like it at the moment, like looking back, you’re like, holy shit. That’s cool. I’m really glad I did that, which hopefully, will have you open to experience other things. You know, going forward, I still probably won’t like being outside when it’s hot, or the bugs in the buzzing and stuff or walking 10 miles. But like knowing potentially, okay, I can do five in although in the moment, I might not see the beauty but going back and looking back at this through it from another perspective, other than my own, even being like through the lens of a camera, or through the lens of your camera and being Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, I see what you were talking about when we were there, huh?

Jenny  Yeah, man, I just I I’m, I love what you shared as an aspect of this flexibility. Because that’s one way. And I keep getting, I keep going back to this, you know, being rigid versus being flexible. And when I think about rigidity, as it’s shown up in my life, is when I begin to develop maybe a certain taste for things, or I you know, everything’s going well in my life. And, you know, everything’s, everything’s great, from my perspective, right? I’m going along with everything I’m, I’m eating the foods I like, the places I like and whatnot, and then something happens, right? Something knocks me off of that path. And then you, at least for me, it’s like, okay, you’re annoyed that something didn’t go your way, or you’re annoyed that something didn’t meet your expectations. Because you’re used to a certain thing. And I and then you’re all like, you know, it just shakes you up for the rest of the day, then, who knows? Maybe someone bumps you later. And you’re like, Yeah, get off me. And then you know, someone, your spouse says something to you. And you’re like, yeah, shut up. Like, it just builds on to this thing, because you’re already annoyed from the one thing, and I definitely like this feel of flow, flexibility, adaptability, that I’ve really realized from this trip. Because there’s a lot of places that we stay, that aren’t what we perceive to be ideal, right? And I could be annoyed that the fridge is not the size that I want, or the burners don’t work the way that I want or whatever, whatever, like things like that. I could be annoyed at all those different things. And it’s just not why that’s just a lot of energy and effort. And I guess that’s just kind of my point. Because if you talk about being and becoming unfuck, with Hubble, if you’re just living on the edge of like, brown all the time, because things aren’t going your way or aren’t the way that you like, I don’t know, it just, I’d rather just be like, cool, calm and chill. Right? And so when something comes my way, I’m like, Yeah, I see that or not, you know what, I think that we can acknowledge what we like and don’t like, and we can have preferences. But when those preferences or those things become rigid, and then when things go outside those lines and you’re annoyed and frustrated. 

Jai   I think that’s something worse or if that if you’re gonna be mad and pissed off, like not you just people in general are gonna be mad and pissed off that the refrigerator isn’t the size or you know, I’m saying the grill doesn’t work or the oven or the stove doesn’t work where they have Like a microwave from 1975, I don’t even know if they may not. But anyway, yeah, like microwaves, if that’s the case, if that’s the case, you don’t need to be traveling around the country, you know, I’m saying you need to settle down and buy the shit that you want for your particular house. So you don’t have to be frustrated.  

Jenny  So it’s, it’s takeaways, there’s always takeaways, but even that, like, Okay, I see what you’re saying, like, don’t travel around the country. 

Jai   But even my point was like, the more rigid you become, in your ways, would I get that in life in other ways, and I’m saying, for an example, this particular example about traveling, or about being rigid, once again, you create your own reality, you know, if those are the things that are going to upset you, or, you know, I’m saying, Have you not enjoyed life, you need to change that, you know, there’s going to be if there’s Okay, my point is, if there’s aspects of your life where you want to be rigid in where you don’t want to change, we all have that choice. And if that’s the case, you know, it’s something as small as for the example you gave appliances, gets you the appliances that you want to settle down. And, you know, I’m saying, you have that choice to not be, like, flexible in that. That’s cool. Like, I get it, I get it. But that’s one small thing. And then what I’m saying, if we’re talking about flexibility, if that particular thing, let’s insert something else, if that certain thing is is causing you rigidity, maybe you need to look at how you’re you’re living, you need to take a step back in and take a global look at things in in in readjust and realign, redefine and redesign, essentially.

Jenny  Yeah, no, that makes sense. Because the I think, the gift to being flexible, and I don’t know, I mean, I’m just exploring here, you know, with like, Jamaicans you know, the real children laid back islanders children laid back, what do you think if you if you have an idea, because we are like, completely off the cuff in this conversation, what do you think about some of those cultures that are just real chill? Because I think being like, just chill and laid back and flowing like water and being flexible? is one of the aspects to being unfuck with double, because they’re not going to be you can’t ruffle their feathers? 

Jai  I mean, I know I’m pretty sure you can. I’m pretty sure yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s a little harder. But if you think about it, if you’ve ever been to Jamaica, a lot of people in Jamaica say, we don’t have problems, we have situations, that’s a whole different headspace. That’s a whole different set of mindset, you know, this isn’t a problem. It’s only a situation. Even when you say that out loud, it puts a different amount of energy on it. People who I know, I’m saying we went to that awesome woodshop. It’s not a woodshop. But basically, they made these awesome sculptures out of wood. And we were like, yo, we got our place, and we want to come back and get this or whatever, whatever. And that was something I wanted to get. And I was like, Yo, what do you get an open and to do look at me? He’s like, Are we on Island time? And I was like, wait, he’s like, yeah, I mean, you know, we opened when we Oh, that’s a whole different, like, when you go to other other places, like time literally is irrelevant. And if in Costa Rica for example, if you watch YouTube videos, one of the things is like if you’re used to having things done at a certain time, this probably isn’t the place because someone will tell you Yeah, tomorrow, but they don’t mean tomorrow. Or Yeah, I’ll be there. And then you’re going to be pissed off when they don’t show up. But it’s just different . I don’t even want to say it rolls. It’s just a different type of culture in general.

Jenny  Yeah. And mindspace reminds me of that example, where someone we talked to we heard it, I don’t remember where it came from. But someone’s mom was frustrated that the repairman wasn’t coming. One of our clients, okay, wasn’t coming in the timeframe that they expected. And then, you know, she helped shift her mom into a different mindspace. And then with that, she was like, okay, you know, like, but the thing about all that agitation she carried. And look, I get it, there’s times when we have deadlines, and we have certain things that need to be met. But even like Jai was saying, if you’re getting thrown off or getting agitated, it’s really just taking a step back and asking yourself, why what’s going on, you know, and just really check in, because, of course, you are able to have feelings that are valid and Sometimes the feelings have them, you know, you have a certain expectation or certain job that needs to be done. But I think it’s if it’s rolling into other aspects of your life, I don’t know, I just really like I really am enjoying this flexible flow be like water state, because I just feel like there’s less stress, there’s less chatter in my head about this or that or whatever things that just are, I find for me that are relevant for me to spend time worrying about or thinking about or wishing that they were different. And that’s really the point because I don’t know, it’s just think that’s really the thing. When things happen. How do you respond to them? And how does that carry in to the rest of your day life and existence?

Jai  Better question when things happen? How do you choose the responsible? Yeah, everything is a choice and a decision.

Jenny  I just feel like so. Like, I want to go listen to Bob Marley. That’s really I think that’s flexibility. Don’t worry about anything. Every little thing is alright. I will send you it will send you off with that. What we want you to do is really just pause and take a moment and think about your own life. How are you showing up? How are you responding to things? Where could you be more flexible? Where could you be more adaptable? How could you create more of that? Chill? That peace? That love that? Just freedom? 

Jai  Was this the last episode of the unfuckwithable season? 

Jenny  We might have a couple more before we close out. Because I think next week or the week after we’re gonna have a really good guest, 

Jai  Jenny’s like she’s really the brains behind this operation. 

Jenny  I told you about the guest this morning.

Jai  Listen, listen, I just I just that’s how flexible I just show up.

Jenny  Yeah, it’s true. Yeah, no, we’re coming to a close and I know that we’ll take possibly a short break in between seasons, and we were actually brainstorming and talking about what our next season would be and we’re super excited. We got a lot of great ideas. And we will share that with you here shortly in the near future. If you don’t already follow us on Instagram. At the number two underscore the letter J holla. We’re sharing a lot about our Nomad trip their stories reels are we doing reel still reels I do TVs posts, 

Jai we do reels when I feel like the one reel.

Jenny  Okay, so yeah, we’re sharing on there lots of different ways you can definitely someday I don’t know when but we’ve talked about it. We might hop on over to YouTube and share some of our videos over there just as another format, maybe do some longer form stuff. We’ll see. We are really staying flexible with this and not having any expectations that way it stays fun and inflow chase dancing right now. Yeah. Alright guys, see you in the next episode. 

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