We have all heard the phrase “livin’ by design.” These days, it is so thrown around that many people start to tune out once you start discussing this topic. However, Jenny and Jai want you to know you are doing yourself a disservice by not tuning in and making an effort to design the life you want. Listen in as they share how you can do, have, create and be anything you desire because there is nothing stopping you from creating the life that YOU want!

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Jenny: Welcome to the Hollastic life podcast. I love coming up with different ways to annoy Jai. When we do our podcast, I love it. It’s a blast. I’m Jenny. He’s like he said my name, yo. So guess what? You know what? I really wanted to sing. I don’t know why, but I have this song in my I’m so glad I didn’t sing it. Cause it would have been horrible.

But I have the song of mine in my head… No. That was like really soft. Casual. Nice. I mean, I was going to belt it. Maybe that was better. That’s exactly. I was going to start. Wow. Okay. So we are talking about one of my favorite topics.

Jai: uh, welcome to the unfuckwithability season.

Jenny: Yes. Thank you.

Jai: You’re welcome.


Jenny: Sorry. About one of my favorite topics, which is living in by design. Stop one of those episodes. Okay. Excited. Y’all his faces, like I said, on the last two episodes. And I’m going to say on as many as I remember, if you want to see us and all of our shenanigans, because apparently we’re pretty fucking hilarious, AKA.


I’m awesome. And Jai’s always like making faces at me. And Jai’s awesome too, but he’s always making faces at me. If you want to see that when we put on our videos, which will be lots and lots and lots of videos, eventually Instagram follow us over there at, to the number two, underscore J the letter J H O L L a.


Hello fellas. Over there. We will have reels. We will have IGTs and we will have posts. Yes. Okay. Back to my favorite topic, which is living by design life by design, living by design. So when I think living by design, I think a lot of times the cliches happen, right. Because, you know, what is it like 10 years ago or 20 years ago or something, you know, when people started being like, live your life, live your best life.


Woo. You know, it was kinda new and as exciting. But now that, like, it seems like everybody’s talking about it. I feel like in general, a lot of people have just tuned that out when, you know, they hear like, Oh, you can create your life by design and like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. And I almost feel like you’re doing yourself a disservice when you tune that out, because this is real.


Like you literally can design your life. And what we mean by this, or what I mean by this is you can literally do, create, have, be anything you want. Just like when we were kids. And when a parent figure or a mentor or someone asks you, like, what do you want to be when you grow up? And it was like, Oh, sorry, man.


A policeman, whatever. Like, what did you want to be when you wanted to grow up? I don’t remember. Okay. You’re no fun today, but I had all kinds of things, teacher and hairstylist, and I want to be a pop star and I want to sing.

Jai: You probably wanted to be a teaching, pop star, hairstylist, all of them at the same time.


Jenny: Okay. So I’ve always believed like, man, go freaking do what you want. Like don’t be in a job or a situation that you hate. Go do what you want. Go figure it out. I mean, that’s why I wrote my book, rock your lifestyle. It’s your life start acting like it it’s like bam. But let’s just pause because Jenny gets really excited about this and she gets really like, In the clouds talking about these things, Jai, what, what does living by design and life by design mean to you?


Jai: Very straight to the point. I mean, whatever you want, you choose, you design it, even if it’s. Directly or indirectly, you know, if your life is filled with overwhelm, like you were creating that overwhelm somebody might’ve been like, Oh, that’s cold. So you’re saying I want to be stressed out. No, I’m not saying you want to be stressed out.


What I’m saying is the things that you’re doing. Is energetically bringing stress to you. And if you don’t want to be stressed out, there’s ways of things, you can change your behaviors and habits to create the lifestyle you want. So that’s what I think living by design.

Jenny: What I love is how we’ve incorporated this concept into our business because our tagline is lifestyle redefined because.


This journey is about redefining realigning and redesigning your life. And, you know, there’s three different aspects of this that we’re going to talk about in this podcast today, as you are reflecting on your life and really like, if you’re ready to let get some shit done and make some amazing, like results in your life with the things that you’ve always wanted to do, let’s just put it this way.


We just got a message from one of our clients who said, Oh my God, I am moving to Texas. I am doing it for me. I’ve always made other decisions for other people and I am doing it for me finally. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do, but I kept not doing it because of hello, like making other people happy that right there is the perfect example of really stepping into your own power, your own unfuckwithability and creating the life that you want, because really there’s nothing stopping you from moving to Texas, wherever it is that you want to go, wherever that, whatever that is in your life, there’s nothing stopping you except for yourself. So let’s chat here a little bit about reality.


What happens like go ahead and expand a little bit more on the example you gave about being overwhelmed and stressed and how that is holding you back from creating the life that you want.


Jai: I mean, if you, if you, if you think about it, stress overwhelm or whatever, like with anything, everything happens from the inside out and always happens on the inside first, before it starts to show up on the outside.


So it’s like stress and overwhelmed. You’re usually like, if you think about it, if you think about your day, your business or whatever, if you’re working from. The reality of Oh, I have to get more clients. I have to get more clients. I have to get more clients. So you’re going throughout the day. Like how many of you are attached to your phone?


You’re attached to your phone. You’re checking emails. You’re looking for not looking for what’s. You’re looking for the reactions to your social media stuff. You’re looking for the interactions on your social media. You’re looking to reply to every comment, these things that people tell you to do. And this goes into doing this.


So you’re not present when it’s time to have family time. You know what I’m saying? You do this up until it’s time for you to go to sleep. So you’re on your phone literally all day. Your phone is probably by your bed. You go to sleep. With this stuff on your mind. So you probably don’t sleep well. I’m saying probably because I don’t know your life, but then you wake up.


First things you do is check your notifications. It starts this cycle. Instead of having boundaries set up, instead of starting out the day with gratitude, being mindful, setting intentions, like today’s going to be an awesome, amazing day, visualizing your day happening. You know, gratitude plays a lot for that.


Like seeing how you’re going to wake up, seeing how, you know, if you have any meetings or things like energetically setting the intention for those meetings to go well, you know, and your day, having time with your family, having time with your kids, working out social time, all these things, like letting it play out in your mind before it actually happens and having things in place that allow you that time to breathe, allow you that time for ease and flow and grace and surrounding yourself with people who one are going to remind you CTFO. And they want to see the best, because if you’re surrounded by hustlers, you’re going to Hustle. But if you’re surrounded by successful people who are optimizing their time. You’re going to see how they do that. And you’re going to directly or indirectly start, like working on that through your own life. Yeah.


Jenny: And I feel like too, what happens is we make this decision or we have this like inner craving, this inner like desire on how much we want to change. And we say we want to change. We tell our friends, we want to change. We tell our family, we want to change. You tell anybody who will listen, that we want to change. And even to complain about our current circumstances and we may make a couple of shifts, but it’s almost like the shifts that we make. Don’t give us the changes in the time that we think they should.


Right. And also too, it’s almost like you’re on that hamster wheel and you’re just go, go, go. Cause you really didn’t step out of your reality to look and see what serving you. What’s not. And even to being mindful with yourself, In, in past episodes, we’ve talked a lot about being 1% better and five minute habits and doing these things to be able to help you make the small, incremental changes that are going to help you get to where you want to be.


And that’s part of looking at the reality of your situation. It’s like taking this assessment. It’s, it’s looking at everything. It’s taking an inventory of like, Are you happy in these aspects of your life? And even if it’s not about happiness, it’s like, how would you rate the aspects of your life? How would you rate your relationships with your family, your relationship with their spouse or loved one?


Um, as far as intimacy goes, how would you rate your wellness, your mindset? You know, you’re, you’re funded adventure. Your career and your business, like how would you rate all these things? It’s really just taking an inventory and taking a snapshot of where you are, because the second part of living by design is the mindset, right?


Because you have to kind of know where you’re at and where you want to go. Right? The clarity of that, but also now it’s time to really dig deep and get into that self-awareness and get into your beliefs. Get into the values, get into the beliefs and things that are possibly triggering you to do certain behaviors and or underlying.


So for example, we talked about this before we hopped on the podcast is, you know, this idea of work is hard. Work is supposed to be hard. I have to hustle to be successful. How many groups and resources, podcasts and things are all about like the hustle club hustle house. Oh my God. We out here hustling.


Just think about that. I used to wear a hustle, like a badge of honor. I used to think and believe that I was, I don’t even know, like the best thing since sliced bread, like all these corny sayings, but I used to think like, Look at me, I’m out here hustling. I’m doing more than you. It kind of became a little bit of like an ego and comparison game to prove and we talked about this in one of the last episodes is to prove that I was worthy. Look at me on my own. I’m out here hustling. And that’s the part of this phase is really getting into understanding and unraveling and exploring the words that you were using. The beliefs that you have, because in order for you to get to where you want to go, what got you here won’t get you there. So it’s time to up level your beliefs, thoughts and behaviors.


Jai: I’ve read, listen to something that said hustle has its place, but only for people who want to operate on ordinary levels.


Jenny: Say that again for the people in the back.


Jai: hustle has its place, but only for people who want to operate it for ordinary levels.


Jenny: That’s deep. That is deep. Let’s deep with that. It’s like, the question is, why are you hustling? Probably programming. Yeah. But I guess that was more of like a reflective, reflective question. Like, why am I hustling? And, and really, especially because I’m an, a type right. It’s like unpacking. What does hustling mean to you?


What does it give you? How does it make you feel? Right. Because when I was hustling, I felt a sense of accomplishment. I felt a sense of importance. I felt a sense of, there was some ego in there, like, Oh, I’m better than these people because I do more than them. And you know what, like, um, I’ve always been a really nice person and cared about other people, but sometimes that’s there, right?


Like, Oh, look at me. Look at me, I can write a book in a weekend, look at me. I can create all this stuff. Look at me. I can, I can do 10 things at a time and you can barely do one.


Jai: Okay. That’s uh, that’s that’s based on you and where you are, you know what I’m saying? Like you have that thing, you being general a general statement here, like, yes, that’s that’s ego, but you’re like, ah, I’m doing better than you and the other person was like, Oh, I’m perfectly cool over here. Right. Like, you know, so you, you think like I’m better than you, the other person doesn’t even care. Right?


Jenny: Right. I mean, it’s definitely like when, when I was hustling. Okay. My hustle was all about, I really believed, and I’ve said this before. It’s like, I believed in the idea that I had to work nights, weekends and lunch breaks in order to make my dream work. Right. Which is the same thing that a lot of you entrepreneurs, you eight type entrepreneurs, right? You were literally giving up. Every aspect of your life. And a lot of times, especially if you’ve gone too far down this path and you’re burnt out or about to be burnout, or you are burning out for the hundredth time and you’re not willing to admit it.


I mean, that’s the other thing, like, let’s go back to step one about reality. Are you burned out a noticing it, right? Yep. But also too, it’s like in this process, In this journey, in this understanding of yourself, really investigating and unpacking, like, why do you do this? Where did it come from? Who told you it had to be this way, but also recognizing, you know, and, and when you’re in this, this mindset work, you’re even teetering back and forth between looking at reality, coming back into the mindset.


I mean, they all, they all have been flowed together and you’re looking and you’re going okay. I want more time with my family yet every time I get the opportunity to have more time with my family work is more important. And you may not have actually consciously said that, but does it, is this how your reality is playing out your actions?


Jai: Okay. Okay. Okay. Even with that though, because we were having conversations with, you know, people in the wedding industry and just, just, you know, the typical. I don’t want to say male, female, but personality. You know what I’m saying? Like problems and solutions, you know, there’s problems we need, we need money to make the house run, you know, for, I was just going to go with the typical thing.


Like the spouse, the wife usually is like, well, you know, We need money for the house does that third. Right? So the husband is like, well, I’m going to go out and do everything I have to do to support my family. And he feels that that’s the way to support your family. You know what I’m saying? You go out, you work hard, you bring home the bacon quote, unquote, you know, you’re just support for the household.


When the wife is just like, yo, man, I just want you to hear, I just want you here to help with the kids. As an example, you know what I’m saying? Those different things.


Jenny: or whoever holds that role in your relationship. Cause it could be male, male, female, male, whatever, female, female, the, uh.


Jai: or, you know, the, the wife being the breadwinner in the same type of thing that, that personality thing. But what’s important. There is situation. It’s, it’s one thing to have your personal reality where you are, where you want to go. But two, if you’re in a relationship. Uh, with someone else, like their reality and figuring out what your reality is together. So that’s like three types of realities, right? Yeah.


Jenny: Yeah. And really just getting into like, like we were talking about digging into being very curious about why you do things the way you do asking a lot of questions. This is really just about discovery. It’s like, you’re, you’re. Like kind of experimenting, you’re checking things out like, Oh, you know, why do I do it this way?


What if I did it this way? Right. And even to, at this point, looking for other models of possibility of people who have been able to, like, for example, Tim Ferriss and four-hour workweek, right? Like a, to a lot of people, that’s just like this crazy dream. And he’s nuts for working four hours a week. Like, how is that even possible?


But yet there’s also people who have done it are doing it and will be doing it right. And then fully embrace that to the nth degree. But the thing is that would be holding you back from having the four hour work week. Is there something inside of you that does it? I believe it’s possible.


Jai: Anything is impossible until it’s possible.


Jenny: Hmm. And there’s something inside of you. That’s still believing hustle equals success, or I have to work hard or I have to work a certain amount of hours. But the thing is, is you may not want a four hour workweek, but as, as you go through this process of checking your reality, you know, digging into the mindset and beliefs.


There’s also this, this thing, hello, a types, you know, fun and adventure. Okay. And you want fun and adventure. And a lot of times you believe you’re getting fun and adventure through your work because you love what you do. You’re passionate, you’re meeting people, you’re talking to people, you’re connecting.


Like you’re doing the fun things, but we’re talking about fun and adventure outside of your work that fuels your soul, right. That helps you as. A human being that helps you to evolve, but it isn’t just like, Oh, I’m going to go book a bungee jumping trip for, I have to go down some whitewater Rapids or I have to go on this big, huge adventure adventure could literally be, do you want to give the example of the 7:00 PM shutdown turning off work?


Jai: Like, I feel adventure is kind of anything that takes you out of your normal, whatever that may be like adventure could be you and your spouse having a date night, getting a babysitter, you know, that could be adventure. Venture could be like letting your kids skip out on homework and sitting up a pillow for it in the living room.


And you guys having a movie marathon. With popcorn or something or, or karaoke, right? It doesn’t always mean like we have to book a trip to this exotic place because when we do that, we start to feed into that particular narrative. Like I can only have fun and adventure when I go here, you know, instead of looking and shifting that to say, where can I find the fun and adventure all around me right now?


Jenny: Yeah. I mean, this is, this is digging in like all, like we said, all of these, you know, overlap and work with each other because in that belief phase, it’s like, what are your values? And defining your values in a way that supports you every day, because you’re exactly right. If one of your values is funding to venture, but you could only get it when you go to that exotic Island that sets you up for literally.


Every day, let’s say you only go once a year, every day for 350 days a year, because it’s a 15, 14 day trip. Right. Every day. I definitely was wondering about your math 15 day trip, 365 days in a year. I, I get it, but you said 350 and I was like, what about the other days? So basically, you know, the rest of the day is you’re just, you’re, you’re let down.


And then think about that too. You’re led down because you’re not having fun and adventure, and you’re trying to get your fun and adventure from your job, from your work, from your events, from, you know, what it is that you’re doing in your passion, in your business. And then you’re stressed. You’re overwhelmed.


You’re snipping at your family. Oh. And now you’re upset that something didn’t happen the way you expected. And now you’re eating a whole pint of ice cream. Which leads to other things, which then leads you to gaining weight, which then leads you to being frustrated about your weight, which then leads you to put yourself into work more, which then leads you. I mean, it’s just, it’s never ending.


Jai: See how easily we create realities.


Jenny: Like this is yeah. I mean, that’s why you have to start, like at the, at the beginning, like assessing what’s going on, getting into those beliefs and, and digging up some of that shit. Like you got some weeds in there. That’s time to dig up, dig some weeds up.


It’s time to plant some fucking flowers. But those flowers in your brain, and then in the fund into venture, you know, it’s, it’s, this is, this is the part everybody wants to do, right. This is the part that everybody wants to do, and they want to go straight to the fund into venture. And here’s the thing.


You can have fun every step of this process, but everybody wants to fun and adventure and they don’t always know how to get it. Because they want to, they’re like, I hate my life or I hate what’s going on. I’m stressed, I’m overwhelmed. And maybe you don’t hate your life. If you don’t hate your business, you just want more fun.


But you also think a lot of times, and this goes in the belief category as you think, or you believe that once I hit a million dollars, once I hit $10 million, once I hit a hundred thousand dollars, once I hit that, then I’ll have fun. Right. Then I’ll get healthy. Then I’ll spend more time with my family.


Then I’ll go and do that trip I always wanted to do, but if that never comes or even when it comes now there’s a new mountain to go climb.


Jai: Yeah. There’s always another level. There’s always another level. And that’s why we were harping on these quadrants in facing this stuff and focusing on these things like right now, because it’s like, you’re focusing on one area and you’re neglecting all the other areas. So yes, you may Excel in one area, but then when, like, let’s say you started your business, right. That’s there’s struggles that come with starting a business. Right. Then you have a goal of making your first a hundred K. Right?


So you made a hundred K. But then there’s like certain obstacles and challenges. We’ll start your own business, right? Start your own business. You’re successful your bringing in X amount of dollars a month. Right. You’re killing it. So you’re consecutively making six figures a year. Right? Then there’s more obstacles and challenges.


That arise with a business owner, making six figures a year, right. And then getting to 500,000 a year and then get into a million. I’m not even talking about the money ass. Got it. Yep. Like, yes. The money is one thing within you were doing all the things you were able and you were successful in doing all the things and hitting six figures consecutively, right?


Now you want to expand. So then there comes the team, but hiring people right there, certain aspects and challenges with that. So there’s all these levels. And then you’re focusing on your business and then your, your health is suffering, right? Because there’s a, there are certain expectations, obstacles, and challenges with taking care of you on a personal level.


And then let’s throw in, you have a family in there. Right. And add it with that. Not only do you have a family, but you or your spouse run the business together, there’s obstacles and challenges, all these scenarios and what we’re here to show you, you all have to do is how to counterbalance and shift between all of these things.


So you give off the illusion because I feel balanced isn’t illusion because you have to constantly shift your weight in every aspect to be balanced. But there’s a way you can do that with ease and grace.


Jenny: And this is why funded a venture is so important because through all this, through all this balance and counterbalance through the work of digging up the weeds and planting flowers and planning, you know, these, these new thoughts and behaviors in your life.


Remember that example of like that cycle that I gave before, where it’s like, okay, you know, You’re busy, you’re busy and then you get stressed out and then you snip at your family and then you’re eating the you’re mad that something didn’t happen. And then you’re eating the cake and it just keeps going over.


Right? The fun and adventure. This gives you another outlet. It gives you another path. Another way to de-stress. Finds then really reconnect to who you are, find those other passions that help you even more because when you were holding on so tightly to what you want, and then what you want is not coming.


These things help you release the grip, right? These things help you. And, and what’s crazy is, is if you’re in it, And you’re that a type overachiever, go, go, go. And you’re. Yeah, in it, you cannot imagine how making dinner with your spouse is helping you achieve your goals. Right? It’s it can be tough to make that jump, which is why we didn’t put fun and adventure first, because if I tell you to make that jump, let’s say you just turn on the podcast right now.


You’re going to have a hard time with that. What if you’ve been listening along the way and you’ve been realizing here’s my reality, let me dig up my beliefs. You know, if you feel like making dinner with your spouse or a loved one, or your kids or whatever, or doing something fun, a hobby, or exploring your backyard or spending time for you, if you feel like those things are a waste of time or don’t, you know, like, ah, how could I do that?


Or you find yourself wanting to implement them and you’re not. Then that’s exactly what you have to work on next. Right? Uncovering your beliefs behind why you feel like you don’t deserve fun. Wow. That right there is where your answer is that right there unlocks everything for you on designing your life.


And then the rest of the stuff. Right. When it’s like, it’s almost like it’s like you’re carrying around all this baggage. Now you just empty the bags. You dropped him off and now you’re like, we I’m going to go create this because you just start you’re you’re even more in flow. Right? If you’re heavy, it’s hard to be in flow.


Jai: Yup. We should do a show on slow flow profiles too.


Jenny: Alrighty guys its going to be a great season.


Jai: All right. Because I, I think that’s a major thing for, um, entrepreneurs. It’s important to know your flow profiling because if you know your flow profile, then you know what you need to do to optimize your time.


So you can still be go, go, go, but you can maximize that, uh, that energy and that specific time. You know, which allows you to get more done, especially when you’re in flow, which frees you up to do other things until like, not just checking off boxes. Cause I noticed this with a lot of you a-types. Right? You wrote one, two, three in your notebook and you were ready to check off one, two and three. Okay. Just one, two, three. I got a last list of a hundred things. I’m going to all these hundred things like how many. Oh, those a hundred things moved your business forward. None, but I checked off a hundred things today.


Jenny: That’s another thing that you could go. Why is this important to me? I mean, there’s so much work that could be done with this, but ultimately, you know, our goal of this episode was to give you some ideas, some perspective, some, I guess, structure, because really a-types you guys like structure, right? Yep. A little bit of, a little bit of a path, a little bit of a how to, to.


Be living by design to create your life by design. That’s really what it was all about. That’s what lifestyle redefined is. Right. You’re redefining what that means to you. So I got nothing else is powerful. I, this right here, this episode can change your life. It will change your life if you let it. Ooh, I like that.


All right. Good. Like every time we do these episodes, I’m so glad we took that break and we’re back y’all is just going to get better and better and better. I got y’all again. Oh my God. I wonder how much Texas is going to keep coming out of me. See ya. On the next episode!

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Season: Unfu*kwitableEpisode 79