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Pulled Triggers and Smokin’ Guns

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Pulled Triggers and Smokin' Guns

 

What does it mean to be triggered? This term has been casually referenced whenever someone has a negative or emotional reaction to some type of content. However, triggers can be positive as well. So in this episode, Jenny and Jai will be sharing how they have learned to overcome their negative triggers while welcoming the ones that start a train of positivity, and how they can help you learn this process too!

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Jenny  Oh, you’re doing music now? Ah shit. You are in the holistic life zone. Well, you’re listening to the podcast, the holistic life podcast. I’m Jenny

Jai  Jai.

Jenny And we are on the road. Wait, who

Jai  is the podcast for we never say what the podcast is for the podcasts for this podcast is for a type of entrepreneurs, event planners and people that we talk about wellness, mindset stuff, and just basically living your best life. We take a different approach to stuff, you know, not your typical way people approach it. But yeah, that’s If that’s you, you found your place,

Jenny you are in the right place to make sure you subscribe. And we are in the Unfuckwithable season unfuckwithable. And I was saying we are literally on the road. Like we decided to record on the road. We’re driving through the hills of Georgia, we just went to a canyon that has absolutely nothing to do with today’s episode. But it may have relevance because our audio may sound different, especially if you just listen to another one of our episodes, we listen to something back to back. It’s possible This one sounds a little bit different. So what we’re talking about today,

Jai  we’re talking about smoking guns and poor triggers, or poor Las Vegas and smoking

Jenny  guns, cold triggers and smoking guns. Okay, so what does that mean? Cuz that to me, like when you very first set that as a potential title, I kind of went oh, I don’t know, we talked about gun law and got it. Oh. Which is funny,

Jai  because we talked about triggers and things that didn’t trigger you for the whole gun thing? No.

Jenny  No, it didn’t trigger me for the gun. I wasn’t a smoking gun with the trigger. When you said the trigger we’re gonna think about

Jai  is the whole point: what kind of triggers do you put where the point of a trigger is pulled. So when something is pulled, when something is triggered, the button is pushed, something is poor, something happens, right? And usually, okay, so you have your poor trigger. And the smoking gun reference is basically the thing you go to when the trigger is pulled. For some people it might be food, sex might be alcohol, it might be sweets, it might be whatever your vices, and that’s that’s the whole point, like poor triggers and smoking guns. So the smoking gun is just a reference to the outcome of the poor trigger, then it has to be like a negative or positive thing. It’s just a metaphor. Yeah, exactly. It’s a metaphor.

Jenny I’m just sitting here thinking. So I’m like, okay, you talked about triggers when your buttons are pushed by defining a trigger. Let’s

Jai  talks about like, what a trigger is when we talk about the next evolution program? Yeah, what kind of triggers are there in their program?

Jenny  Do we discuss different things? I feel like maybe we haven’t talked about it this way. But I feel like it’s a little bit like cause and effect, where it is like, okay, you did this action. What did you do before this action? So for example, like emotional eating, or stress eating, to stop and pause and see, okay, was there a specific thing, a trigger that caused you to want to take that action.

Jai  And without the self awareness aspect, though, usually, the trigger is being bored, not having fun, being stressed out overwhelmed, something emotional having, which triggers you to binge eat on sugary stuff, or whatever, which is, which is, which is the smoking gun,

Jenny  right? Want even so it’s like you said, without the self awareness piece, it’s like, are you living your life and autopilot or the self awareness? It does take that pause, that reflection, that moment to be able to like, stop and pause and notice these things when they’re happening. And we actually have one of our clients who has made tremendous changes in her life. gonna shout her out, she’s lost 55 pounds, but beyond 56 pounds, 56 pounds. And did you see the post that she just made? She said that she had to take a professional headshot picture, and she doesn’t have any. And she took a picture of her son and then looked at it and he was like, this is the one mom and she was like, Wow, my son never says that. She looked in, she’s like, wow, I look happy. And she normally would pick apart herself in the picture. And then she looked at herself and was like, wow, I love me, the me that’s in this picture.

Jai  Was this post on Facebook? Yeah, I totally didn’t see it. So

Jenny  but I say that because she was just telling us in our, in our coaching call this week, how she’s had friends kind of asking her like, what are you doing summer for friends when they ask and she says, you know, I’m just kind of like, I’m doing me. You know, they’re like, are you doing keto? You know, they’re like, they have to know that she’s doing something keto or something.

Jai  They don’t have to know. They, they,

Jenny  they insist that’s what she’s doing

Jai  wants reassurance? Okay, that it was something they can wrap their head around? Yes. Such as keto. I know. That’s what you’re trying to say. I was just like keto. Because, you know, that makes sense,

Jenny  wright? Because when she says, Oh, you know, I’ve just been kind of like taking it day by day. And I’ve been taking care of myself and

Jai  My shit together. And I’ve been like, looking at the triggers and smoking guns.

Jenny  Yeah. And we’ve basically brought that up, because she’s, she’s finding and what we know, too, is a lot of people just aren’t ready. They think they’re ready. And what they want is they want the quick fix. And they may say they don’t want the quick fix, but like, the reality of it is just telling me that this eating plan or if I sweat my ass off and hate life, that that’s going to deliver results. And a lot of times it does, but eventually, just like we talked about some people like you lose weight, you want some, whatever keto or whatever, you lose weight, and then a lot for a lot of people end up not being sustainable. I don’t

Jai  thinks these people think they’re ready. I think they want to be ready. Yeah, but I don’t think they think they’re ready. Yeah. When I’m saying wanting something and, and being ready. And it’s, we talked about that. But it’s a whole different mindset, whole different shifts. And sometimes it’s easier to say, oh, if I stopped eating this, and I eat that this is going to work and and logically, yes, because you’re switching up how you’re eating, you’re eliminating some things because some diets say you can’t eat that. So of course, you’re going to strain us, right, you’re gonna see changes, but like that’s not sustainable. And once you get tired of it, you know, you’re going to gain the weight back, if not more, but you know, and honestly saying, you know, the hardest part. I mean, if you notice, in our marketing, what we really want to say is, we can help you change. But if you’re honest with yourself, yes, I’m talking to you, listeners, if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t want to hear that because subconsciously, something deep down in you says, oh, change is hard change is difficult, I’m gonna have to give up this, that. And third, I’m not gonna be able to have fun anymore. So I don’t want to change because change is uncomfortable,

Jenny  wright? Or you don’t want to face the things you’ve been suppressing all these years, you want to bring up the hurt or the anger or the pain, essentially, a lot of the triggers and really some of the triggers we hide with triggers.

Jai  Exactly. I was thinking about what people usually do. Like in in, like, we’ve done them totally not gonna throw you on the bus because we’ve we’ve done this, I was gonna say you, but we’ve done this, like, before we go on a diet or bitch in the past, we’ve been like, Oh, shit, we’re starting Monday, we better go get all the sweets and stuff, right? We can have, we’re not gonna be able to do this for the next 30 days or like, whatever. Right? And honestly, if you think about that, that’s not really a mentality. No,

Jenny  No, I mean, you think you are, but the thing is, I think it’s okay. I think that we can celebrate ourselves for trying, and experimenting and trying different things and finding out what doesn’t work. You know, I feel like that even is a double edged sword. Because if you are wanting to change your life, and specifically with weight loss, you know, if you’re wanting to change your life, and you’ve already tried a lot of different things, then you can celebrate that you’ve tried different things, and you’ve had that perseverance. But also at the same time, a lot of people beat themselves up because I’ve tried so many things, and it didn’t work, right. It’s like a double edged sword. And our client said, you know, really, the thing is, you haven’t tried Jenny and j haven’t tried this. And when you come to us, you gotta know that you’re going to get some leveling up. But the thing is, is like or you don’t,

Jai  Okay, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t even say that though. You don’t, you don’t have to know. Like when you come to us, I feel like you’ve tried a lot of things. And you’re just, you’re sick and tired of trying new things and you are ready, ready for something different like the client said I’ve said in the past, this is it. This is my year. Whatever. If I’m honest with myself, I knew I was bullshit. But like this time, I was ready. I was ready. So I think it’s, I think the leveling up is is a byproduct of just kind of being fed up with other things being like, okay, I’ve tried this, I’m fucking tired of it. Yeah, I’ve tried this. I’m fucking tired of it. I tried this, I’m fucking tired of it. Okay, I’ve seen this person. They’re, they’re enjoying alcohol. You know, I’m saying they’re not over indulging, they’re enjoying eating out. And they look fucking awesome and amazing. They’re happy. You know, I’m saying it’s, I feel because there’s an energy shift. I feel. I think that’s what people say to Oh, you look different. You’re going, whatever. So basically, they feel that vibration, that energetic vibration of something being different.

Jenny  Yeah, I was just sitting here thinking about triggers. Right. So I definitely, if you’ve been listening, you, you probably will be surprised by some of these statements. But I’ve definitely lived my life in a very perfectionist type of way, wanting people to, you know, see that I have my shit together. And I have been in and out of fitness and wellness for Gosh, 10 or 15 years now. Because I first joined Beachbody. I was super fit because I played sports. And I came out of college and I, you know, was working out a bunch and sanity and all that. I got my personal trainer cert, was p90x certified and teaching classes, I got nutrition certification, I’ve been in and out of different places like health and wellness, network marketing companies different like I’ve played around in this world. But what happens for me in the past and claiming in the past, what has happened for me in the past is I end up getting a little bit like self sabotaging behavior, because I feel like, I’ll get real focused, right, and I’ll be doing the workout, I’ll be doing the thing I’ll be doing the diet. And this is before when I had learned some of these things that we teach now, but I’d be doing the thing, and living in and feeling good. But eventually I’d want to eat some snacks, some sweets, I’ve always wanted to eat those and for lots of different reasons. But like that always comes back up. And then I gained some weight, or I maybe like don’t feel like being as hardcore anymore, I want to go back and gain some weight. And then I feel weird about it. Like I’m supposed to be this health and wellness person. And then I’m sitting here, you know, eating on the snacks. I’m not supposed to do that. And I think that that years of doing that, and years of like shame and years of feeling bad years of eating the things and then saying I shouldn’t eat the things we’re beating myself up or getting mad at myself for all the different things, all of that years of that has definitely caused some trauma and some triggers. And with my perfectionist tendencies that I’ve had, you know, when these things come up, I try to hide them or bury them or just kind of like hide from the public because I don’t want them to see what I’m going through. Because I’m supposed to be this wellness leader. And then you know, getting with you. It’s been an unraveling and on understanding and it’s really with the principles that we teach, and especially what you’ve taught me, Jai, is to really just slow down and pause and identify what is causing what is behind this trigger. What is the thing like what’s the thing that happens before the thing, right? What takes place, like when I’m wanting to eat the snack or the brownie or the cookie or whatever? Like why I’m pausing and thinking why and we’ve definitely gone back and forth like, he’s like, why do you want that I’m like, Oh my god, I gotta justify this to you and I get really mad or whatever, you get really possessive sometimes about these things. You know, we’re like, I mean, I buy a boxa whatever ding dongs or nutty bars don’t eat mine. Like Don’t touch my half, these are mine. Okay, so that just kind of builds it up. And as I’ve been doing this work, my goal at the end of the journey at the end of the road and beyond is to be able to eat snacks when I want and just have a bit and not go crazy with them. Not go on a three day binge because I didn’t have them and I want them and all this stuff that I’ve tried like I just want to have a piece of cake when I want to have a piece of cake and I want to be able to eat half a piece of cake and say I’m full and push the other half away even even even even with that thought

Jai  Noticing different things. Publix has awesome cake wherever you’re at. I don’t know if you have Publix where you are but I feel Publix has awesome cake. But what I’ve noticed with getting in a slice of the cake and I don’t know if it’s the cake or like all the crap in the ice, like I get sleepy after I eat that and it’s like being away. have things like that, like noticing? And I think you said it. When we had the last night we were in the villages. And you wanted dessert at the Thai place. And you had that he was like, Oh, this is different from going somewhere, like having a shake from Johnny Rockets.

Jenny  Yeah. I mean, it’s definitely it’s, it’s paying attention, because I think it’s a couple of different things. And I’m still, I’m still figuring this out if this is just a Jenny thing, or if this is more universal. And so this is coming like raw on process thoughts. All right. So the Johnny Rockets shake, or the Publix or the brookie from Trader Joe’s or the brownie with the icing or some of those things that I really like that I feel like I cannot stop with. I would venture to say that a lot of those types of sweets have an exorbitant amount of chocolate in them. And chocolate, sugar. They have chocolate too, but they have a lot of sugar in them. A lot of processed sugar probably likes that fat that that butter, fat and some of those like addictive things. And the Thai ice cream was just like, you know, a scoop of ice cream. It Doesn’t have any sugar, but I don’t think it has as much. For example, we went and had that banana pudding. We had banana pudding at a barbecue place. You ate it. You’re like this is good. I don’t need anymore, right? But I said, Oh, you know what your aunt’s banana pudding is?” His aunt’s banana pudding has so much sugar in it and so much fat in it. That I think is what becomes that extra addictive to where you literally wake up thinking about eating banana pudding for breakfast, lunch, dinner, you continue to eat it so much that you’ll eat it until you’re full to like 250%. Right? You just keep going, you in general, not you. I mean, we have done that. We have had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But like, I would not think the same about the one from the barbecue place.

Jai  It was you know, hey, this is this desert.

Jenny  This is cool. I feel like it has to do with sugar content and processed sugar. well aware of that, too.

Jai  Also, though, to that self awareness to where like, Okay, this was good enough. But sometimes we feel like oh, no, this isn’t what I’m looking for. I’m not satisfied. Now. I have to look at something else. Yeah. And it’s like, you know what, this was cool. This was all right. I mean, maybe I wouldn’t make my top three, but it was okay. Right?

Jenny  I don’t know. I mean, I feel like we went a little bit off on a tangent, but it was exploring some of those different triggers, but also being aware of things like, what are the types of foods that cause you to feel a certain way, or the types of foods that really ultimately are red light foods. A lot of those foods we’re talking about are red light foods. And if you’ve never heard us talk about red light foods, we have a concept that we teach called Red, yellow, green light. And it has to do with the foods like the red light foods are the ones that you literally danger, will Robinson

Jai  Get a family size of this bag, you know, I’m saying it’s not for the family, it’s for you. And it’s probably not gonna last

Jenny  The rest of the day, right? versus like a yellow light food. You may still like it, you may still indulge in it, but you’re able to like walking away, right, for example. So a red light food means like, don’t have it around. So I think it’s, I haven’t found my full answer. But I did have some major wins this week with ice cream. And I love ice cream. I’ve loved ice cream my whole life.

Jai  And this particular ice cream was from your hometown area,

Jenny  a hometown grad, ice cream, it’s so good. I got a pint. We went to the store when we got to Alabama got a pint, I came home and usually I would devour that within seconds of getting home, and then probably want another right I’d be like oh my god, I want another I want to go get one the next night and oh my god, graders are so good. Whatever, didn’t need it, didn’t touch it, then I was like, You know what, I’m actually full. I don’t want that tonight. And I was like, Whoa, when number one next ended up wanting it. But not because of boredom or emotional stress or anything like that. I ended up wanting it. I had it for a little snack. And I only ate half of it. I mean, I cannot remember the last time I only had a half a pint of ice cream. one sitting, I cannot remember literally, I don’t know if I’ve ever done that. And I put it back in the freezer. So those are huge wins in the process. And it’s so empowering to know that I can do that. And I’m able to do that. And I’m coming from a place of empowerment. Right? And even that trigger, recognizing the trigger and having a different solution. What do you call it? Do you have a name? Or do you have a metaphor for when the triggers are there? Or is it just the fact that you didn’t pull the trigger? And there wasn’t a smoking gun? Right?

Jai  here’s the thing, though it might not be a perfect example, but it’s the one that popped into my head. So When I think of like Portuguese smoking guns, it’s like saying something like, when you’re Superman, right? You’re Superman, you’re upset or something or whatever this is, and you have this gun that you go get, you know, in, you utilize the gun, because you’re angry or whatever, you’re upset, you pull the trigger. Now you have this small guy that connects you to the thing, right? So what you explained is like, so when something comes up, you know that the gun is around, but you have enough self awareness to not let that push you to pull the trigger. I’m pretty sure there’s a better metaphor, but you know, yeah.

Jenny  I mean, I don’t know, it’s definitely a fun experience. When you go through when you realize that those old behaviors that used to define you are no longer part of your life. And

Jai  the cool thing about like, red, yellow, and the red, yellow, and green light concept is your learning. So something that might be a red light doesn’t mean it’s always going to be a red light food, it might turn into a yellow light food, we have a friend who has, she can literally get like, tow house. What you call those chocolate chip morsels, and they literally sit on her counter, like for months, for months, because that’s not her thing. Yeah. And we’re like, why girl? She looked at your house. She She,

Jenny  wright. Right. Now, definitely a definitely good conversation. Is there anything else you want to add to the conversation? I mean, it definitely we talked a little bit, we didn’t go super deep into a lot of different triggers. Because the triggers are going to be different for each person.

Jai  And I don’t necessarily believe we have to go into that, because I feel this conversation is relative, right? You can insert triggers in everything we talked about that is still relative to that particular thing.

Jenny  And I mean, I shared some of mine and some of my stories. So much wrap it up Jai,

Jai  currently traveling around the country. So if you want to check in on that, follow us on Instagram, at the number two underscore the letter J holla. On IG. That’s really the only one you need to worry about. Jen’s kind of monitoring the Facebook stuff. So I mean, you could follow us over there. But the majority of our interactions are on i g stories, reals, no lives yet. Regular post about where we are, what we’re going through, and some of the lessons we talked about. We have a good 45 second talk about emotional eating, which is awesome. So hop over there. Like us, send us a DM let us know that you found this from the show. Yeah, we want to get to know you guys. Yeah, we’re really big on connecting we’re not those people who will say yeah, we want to connect that we don’t like, we’re super, super big on connecting in just holidays. Oh shit got something big coming through. So yeah, there’s that other than that, it’s been a great show. Jen, it’s been great talking to you today. Holla Holla you can subscribe to the holistic life podcast from your favorite streaming platform. And don’t forget to check out 2jholla.com/ohana for your own 2J Insider. Mahalo for tuning in. And until next time, that’s our show.

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