Jenny Welcome to another episode of the Life Adventurist Podcast. I’m Jenny Holla your host and I am excited as always as we continue this journey on the chakra series, and you guys are gonna love Love, love, love, love this guest today, she is so powerful and I’m so glad that she is closing off our throat chakra portion of this series. She’s our final guest in this area of our body. And without further do, I’m going to bring Violetta Pleshakova onto the podcast. She’s a paradigm shifter, a leadership mentor, inspirational speaker and writer on a mission to help rising leaders and conscious entrepreneurs own their uniqueness and lead with our magic. Violetta holds a PhD in cultural studies and she has been leading personal development courses internationally for over a decade. And this is my most favorite part. She’s a citizen of the world and divides her time between Berlin, Johannesburg, Amsterdam, Moscow and Southern France. Violetta. Welcome, welcome to the show. So tell us a little bit more about yourself. And you have to tell something fun. And I know you’ve got plenty of fun stories to tell.
Violetta Hi, everyone. Hi, Jenny. Thank you for having me. Well, let me tell you a fun story from last year. As mentioned, I travel a lot. I live a bit of a digital nomad life. And last year, this time, I got locked down in Johannesburg. And I think it’s just you know, the universe has this way of always giving us what we need, not necessarily what we want. It has always been my dream to live in South Africa for a while. So of course, be careful what you wish for my wish Godzilla and so I got to live in Johannesburg for six months in lockdown during the pandemic, I could not get back to the to Europe. But it was the best thing that could have happened to me because I really connected with the land with the people. And it was a truly special chapter in my life. And now I’m back in, in Europe, here in Berlin. It’s very cold.
Jenny Yeah, definitely. So explain a little bit more about yourself. Because I was looking on your website, I also saw the words you know that you do like Human Design soul work gene, key akashic records, you have so much that you bring to the table. So share a little bit more about who you are in your work.
Violetta Yes, so my work is powered more by my mission and my message more by that than any method. I think any method is only as good as our ability to apply it. And any method is good for someone, but no method is a dual wheel. So for me akashic records, jinkies Human Design, as well as simply the tools that I have come across in my in my life. And on my journey, they helped me so much that I studied it. And now this is what I use. But my work is all about helping people figure out what makes them unique, helping them get connected with the real essence, and then translate that essence into purpose into be that business or simply their daily life. So my guiding question is, how can we live in alignment with our soul? How can we make the impact that we came here to make? How can we be the paradigm shift is that the world needs, but in a way that is authentic and aligned to us individually, without following rules without copying other people without stepping into unique self expression. That is our birthright that is already encoded within our V DNA.
Jenny Yeah, I love that. And I think that even goes into a little bit because my next question was, is like, what does the throat chakra mean to you?
Violetta Such a good question what it means to me, I see it as a portal, I see it as a portal that has a revolving door in it, a revolving door, meaning you can open it outwards, to express something to give something to the world, or you can open it inwards to receive the world. So to me, it’s sort of open door. It’s not only about what you share, it’s also about what you take in, and how you connect with the world, how you interface with the world in your own unique way. So it’s self expression, creation, and interaction.
Jenny I love that because a lot of people talk about how it’s really like you speaking and sharing your truth and sharing your story. But it’s almost like and we were talking about this before you also do a program on visibility and being seen. So it sounds like it’s much more than just speaking and sharing your truth. share a little bit.
Violetta So what I’ve come to notice, and I’ve worked with a lot of people internationally, I used to train coaches, actually before coaching was cool, like eight years ago, and big beam on trainings. We worked a lot I don’t know what being because as a trainer, and as a coach, as a mentor, I noticed that very often it is who I am being that impacts people way beyond what I’m saying. Even when people interact with us online, when they go through our websites, or through our social media feeds, they feel energy. And the word I like to use, for that is transmission. Each of us has an energetical transmission, it’s like we are radiating. And we are always sharing our essence and our energy with the world. And it is beyond words. It is also our value is also how we walk the talk or don’t, yeah, it is also how we show up when nobody’s watching. So to me, it’s not, it’s not words alone, it’s holistic, is the totality of who you are. And it’s the energetical imprint you leave on the world, and what you emit when you are just being because it’s everywhere, you know, I always think, the way I talked to the personal delivery guy, if that’s different to how I talk to, let’s say, a corporate client, then I’m a shitty leader, because um, there is a discrepancy in how I show up, I can go downstairs to the bakery, that bakery makes amazing croissants. So if I go there, and I smile to the lady who’s handing the croissants, this is also self expression. Although I’m a bit of culture, I’m not a to do self anything, but I can make her day by being really nice to her while many customers are not, you know, so that to me, is also using the throat chakra. And the power of self expression is the energy that each of us can bring to all of our interactions. Because this is how we also interrelate collectively, how we treat each other how we show up beyond our profession beyond those spaces that are platform.
Jenny I love that and I want to go into, I feel like the next best thing to talk about here is something that I saw, I think I either saw it on your Instagram, or I saw it on your website or saw I saw it somewhere where you were talking about how to share yourself generously, and how to really just be authentically you. And so my question is, how can we do that, especially now, at least what we’re experiencing here in the US is a lot of canceled culture, a lot of like shaming and virtue signaling and, you know, like people are feeling especially with some of these more heated topics politically, you know, people are starting to be like, Oh, I don’t want to share what I’m saying. And I always feel like there’s two different sides of the coin here. But I’m like, how do we share ourselves generously, without censoring ourselves?
Violetta Yeah, I think this is very nuanced. And what comes to me as a non say, is, first and foremost, I think we need to be clear on who we are, we need to be clear on our values, we need to be clear on what we truly stand for, and what is real. So to me, it starts with self honesty. Before I can be honest with the world, I need to be honest with myself, I need to be honest about my intentions for sharing something. Because intention, we’ll call it the transmission is my intention, if I’m sharing something beautiful, but my intention is actually to get attention is that it’s not genuine, then people will feel it and energetically, it will put them off. So I think self honesty being clear on your motivation, being clear on your intention is the starting point of authenticity, because to me, Authenticity, it starts with with that alignment was knowing what is my truth? And also, is this truth appropriate, because I think a lot of people lose the nuance. In communication, it’s so much about nuance, because it’s so easy to be tone deaf to be to be just culturally unaware. And I noticed that just from my experience in so many countries, what’s okay in one culture might be slightly different in another system. It’s not just only about what am I here to say, but also Am I able and willing to listen? Do I take the time to understand different viewpoints, different paradigms, and to me, it’s very important to, to also look at voices that have been silenced for centuries, voices that do not get enough exposure, to give platform to people who, who are sensitive, who are who are not prioritized. And that requires willingness. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just shut up and listen and learn before we jump in and try to claim off base and be all over the place and scream the loudest. That is also how we use Throat Chakra not just to express but also to listen. And then sometimes just pause, take a step back and pack everything internally before there is a place of stillness, because authenticity cannot be rushed. It is not it is not necessarily being the first one to respond being the First, when to make an impression, being the first one to speak up, you know, I’m reminded like a year ago, when COVID started, all sorts of people, Instagram started to come up with theories. Everyone was claiming to channel this and that, but then none of it came true. Because none of us have a clear path, what’s going on. And again, I did not feel like talking to my audience about it whatsoever, because it felt to me, it’s not my place, I have to step back, I have to process this internally, I have to calibrate and find my footing first, and then when I’m clear on my values, and my position on the map, then I can speak. I think very often people speak prematurely. They speak too fast, because they are afraid there is fear of missing out, they want to claim the stage and so on or be reacted, or the first one to comment. And very often they are speaking when they’re not centered. So I think being centered that’s in alignment, that pause before you speak is very important,
Jenny That’s just so powerful, I got so many chills a confirmation when you were sharing that because the power of not only standing in your own truth, but that centering that you’re saying, because what I’m seeing in the conversations online, and most of them are us conversations, it’s just a lot of fear. And the lashing out comes from a place of fear. And I really feel like this is a good time to tie in something because your your Instagram is phenomenal. I love like the deep, like ideas and the things that spark like thinking and reflecting that you have on your Instagram. And so you had posted incorruptibility, the ability to choose your truth and the integrity of your soul over everything else. So I feel like this ties into what we’re talking about. So you share a little bit more because I’m not going to read your whole post. I want to hear it like live and authentic, right? Like what does it mean to be incorruptible? And how does this I mean, this ties in so much to the throat chakra and owning our worth and this journey of becoming authentic and and truly you I feel like it does. What about you?
Violetta Oh, thank you for your kind words about my Instagram. I put a lot of love into it. It’s my, my favorite social media platform. And yes, so to me, incorruptibility is all about loyalty. What are you loyal to? Who are you loyal to? I you’re loyal to the trend? Or are you loyal to yourself? Are you loyal to the whims of your mind that one says that at one stuff, or are you well to assault. And centering is my favorite tool, because to me centering is that ability to pause, slow down, take a moment to ground into your body to connect with your soul to connect with your heart to connect with yourself on all possible levels, from the physical level on the mental level on the emotional level on the spiritual level. And from that central place. The world can be spinning, the world is always spinning, and being centered and choosing your loyalties wisely. This is what can hold us during tough times. And I will give you an example. Actually back to my Instagram. You know, there are lots of trends. One of them is real down there are like infographics and all those posts where there are nine pictures. And each picture has a sentence instead of it being an caption. I mean, nothing wrong with that. But if I would give oil to myself, I would jump on those trends because we always get engagement. But the thing is, like, I’m not a fan of video content, but I just don’t process it. You know, like my phone is always on silent. I don’t watch real videos and stuff. It’s just not me. If I want to do that the energetical signature of my Instagram would be so off. I would be so authentic. I wouldn’t be lying. I wouldn’t be operating from the wrong intention. I would be expressing myself. Yes, maybe strategically, yes, maybe in a powerful way. Because we will get engagement my message can reach more people but at what cost? I would feel like I’m doing something that is not me. I would feel like my motivation is to impress my motivation is to seek attention instead of to express so awkward to myself. If my brain just doesn’t work in the infographic way, okay. I admire people could do that. I admire people who make funny reel fantastics. But I’m not going to try and be them. That to me is incorruptibility, even at the face of things like following business goals, success, milestones, and so on. Because it can be very tempting to betray yourself or to become corruptible when things like love and money is at stake. This is when human beings often get corruptible when we feel like oh, it’s threatening my success. It’s threatening my survival. Am I going to be loved if I am loyal to myself, but but to me, that’s the choice. I’d rather be loyal to myself and be liked by others.
Jenny So powerful and especially like you know, I’ve got a couple different thoughts converging here. So my history and the listeners have heard this before, but since you Don’t know this is my history was in corporate America working a job being an employee. And really my my personality through that was really about pleasing being the top rep, making sure I was like the model employee and pressing people. But this journey since I left my corporate job over a year ago, has really been about exactly what you said, like stepping more into, like, Who am I loyal to? I never thought about it that way. And I think that I know that that’s gonna unlock some more things for me, just that thought. But just this process, this, this journey of connecting to ourselves, this journey of being centered, this journey of listening to ourselves, is so powerful, because I feel like, especially when you’re starting a business, and you’re trying to figure out what to do, and you want to be successful, I definitely have pulled been pulled in so many ways, you know, like, jumped on this trend and that trend. And, you know, we put so much effort and energy into creating an SLO funnel, which is the self liquidating offer. We spent so much time on that. And and really, honestly, when it came down to it, it’s like what Jai and I want to do what actually resonates with us. And that was us exactly what you said, stepping outside of what really felt good. And so I really want to go more into this idea of expressing versus impressing because I feel like impressing has a lot of ego. And you’re impressing to show that you have the likes, you have the people you have the followers. So let’s talk a little bit more and go deeper into expressing versus impressing.
Violetta Yeah, so you said a perfectly impressing is actually just desiring attention. And it’s often driven by fear or lack. But if we go with an expression is all about sharing your essence just because you cannot not share it. I always think about my cat, my cat taught me so much. She’s hilarious. So when I look at my cat, I noticed that she’s just catching she’s just being herself. She does not think if I like it when she’s crushing my couch or not, she doesn’t feel guilty, she does not feel embarrassed, expressing. It’s so natural and pure. And we see that in children as well. But when it starts to go off is as we grow up, we realize that love is not unconditional. We realize that very often, even our survival and our security and our safety are dependent on our behavior. And human beings cannot survive without attention. Science knows that, that if a baby is not given love and attention, the baby will die. So human beings develop all kinds of strategies to get attention. This is how we become people pleasers, or this is how we become disrupted. Or this is how we some of us become avoidant. And at least there are different types depending on your nervous system. And so essentially, impressing is deeply ingrained in us through growing up through surviving teenage years through surviving work environments, and so on. But deep down, we are all just human beings who want love and attention. And I want to make it clear that, in my opinion, seeking external validation is actually not wrong. It is human. Because it’s in our biology, we want to receive confirmation that we exist. We do need that mirroring because we are social creatures. So I don’t think it’s possible to get rid of the desire to receive attention. Yes, of course, social media blows it out of proportion, and exploits that but it’s a very natural human desire. And that gets me to think, why are we so keen on impressing others, I think it’s because many of us will lack genuine connections in our life. We laugh deep in our relationships, and we lack that self communion, as I call it will add that feeling of being centered in ourselves. So we start soliciting it from strangers. But if only we could swing back to building better relationships, getting more, more of that attention, but in a more authentic way, in a more healthy way. I think there would be less need to impress treasures on the internet that would be just expressing from being full expressing from already being seen. So I think we could all benefit from just slowing down and looking at do I feel truly seen in my life. Do I feel seen by my closest people do I feel truly seen by myself? And what can I do to ensure that this close knit network around me, sees me for who I really am such that when I go out there onto a platform or whatever in the world, I don’t have to play tricks so much.
Jenny You know what’s coming up is definitely a little bit of my personal journey and I know there’s other people who are experiencing this right now, and so that’s why I want to bring it up and share as a sales professional. I was definitely very confident and very good didn’t mind being seen going out there, you know, like, I was, like, very confident, like, I got this. And then when it came to my own content, I have dipped in and out of, ooh, do I want to be seen as my content? Good enough? You know, and really, I’ve been working a lot on stepping more into the self worth stepping more into the visibility wanting to be seen, but also something you said triggered this question is validation. Because I’ve been doing a lot of looking into, you know, like, healing my inner child and looking back into, you know, old beliefs and shedding old beliefs, I’ve been doing a lot of personal depth of work. And so when it comes to external validation, part of this journey of being seen part of this journey of the throat chakra, when it’s your own content in your own thing, it’s like, when I share it, I crave validation. And if I don’t get the validation, I feel like I should get, or I feel like is equivalent to what I shared. It almost puts me back in my shell. So how do you unlock that circle? Because I, we have clients who are, you know, have this like dream to, you know, start a blog or share some some of their stories, but then they get stuck, right. And I think it’s something similar to this process of like, I want to share, you know, and it could be validation, or it could be work. I mean, there’s lots of different things that come up. But then, you know, you go back in,
Violetta yeah, yeah, thank you for sharing this. I totally see what you mean. And and I also had clients who share the same and I mean, I can also relate, I think it’s very human. It’s a very human thing. Nobody wants to be screaming into the void. Yeah. And that’s why I say it’s natural to want validation. It’s just because we want to know, am I on the right track? Am I reaching the right people? Is this actually helpful to my audience? And so my answer is not very straightforward. My answer, I think, has to do a lot with social media culture, and intrapreneurial culture, what I think needs to happen is that we need to become more responsive to each other. I think, often, we are just scrolling too quickly, we are subscribed to too many things. And we don’t have enough attention to give to those creators. So what I wish everyone would do is just start leaving more comments, giving more feedback, leaving reviews on books and podcasts that you enjoy. Let people know that you love their content. Because it goes a long way. A tiny little comment goes a long way. So I think we need to culturally create a bit more support towards each other. And you know, in my life, what I’ve noticed, sometimes I post, and there was nothing, but the next day somebody will show up in my inbox and say, Oh, my God, I feel like you’ve posted this and it was written for me. And then I think, even if I touched one life with this post, it was worth. So I think we also need to we’re gonna expectations, how do we measure impact? Do we measure it by amount of response? Or do we measure it by date of impact? So to me, it’s not about the quantity, but it’s more about the quality. And to me, even if I got one response from one person who said, This did something for them, I’m good. I don’t care about anything else. So I think if that’s an overall just being the response we want to achieve, giving the response that we want to receive, because that’s what social media, it’s not only about us receiving, it’s also about what we give to each other. And that can it can shift the cultural landscape, and the status quo in into real culture, how we treat each other how we treat creators, how willing are we to be to participate in that economy? Do we pay other people? Do we hire other humans enough? I think we need to all just be hiring each other, liking each other, stop sharing each other’s stuff, having a bit more camaraderie in that space, and just lifting each other up.
Jenny Yeah, I love that. And I feel like this is a good opportunity to anchor what we already talked about, and the idea of expressing versus impressing, because even with that post, you said, okay, you know, how do we measure it? You know, we can measure it by the depth of impact. But also I feel like this is also a good time to check in and see was that post you were sharing your essence and expressing? Or was the post about impressing? Because you felt like you would impress people in order to get sales or get likes or get comments?
Violetta Totally. I think people always feel your intention. They feel sincerity, Authenticity, honesty, they feel the intention behind it, versus the content. It doesn’t matter how well crafted your copy is if the intention is to manipulate or the intention stands cause which is like oh my god, I’m not getting enough sales. I need to post something. Or Oh, I haven’t posted in five days people will forget that I exist. Let me post something. What’s the point because it’s not going to work, it’s not going to work. And for myself, I’ve even noticed that it hardly ever works for me to preschedule stuff. Because the sincerity of what I feel in the moment, when I hit the publish button in the moment is that excitement and that purity that is felt, and all my best content and best posts have really moved people and got them to message me, whatever. Those were things that I actually wrote for myself, my yesterday’s post, it came straight from my diary, I have written it for myself, I did not plan to share it, but then often written, I thought, Oh, this is this could be inspiring for the people. So that’s just like the diarytes, let me call it the diarytes, would you write this in your own diary for your very own self to read? And If yes, then you can share that if there is a piece of value, there is a negative wisdom and insight in it, then share it with the world and it’s pure nccpl it’s not, it’s not reverse engineered.
Jenny I love it. I love it. It’s so good. And these are such great tips. Okay, so I’m gonna go I’m gonna go down another path, because I love a post another post on Instagram that you made. And I really want to talk about it. And have you talked a little bit more because I feel like what’s so important right now is that we as a society, as a human race, as a world as a global citizen, we really understand what freedom is. And not freedom, like, Oh, I need to be free from my government. I mean, yes, that’s a form of freedom, but I’m talking about like your own personal freedom. This idea that at least this is the way that I’ve been, you know, playing with it my mind this idea that I’m free from any one or anything controlling me any sort of marketing, you know, like, I’m not buying this bag, this designer bag, because the marketing told me if I buy the bag, I’m gonna be amazing, right? It’s just like this freedom to be me and express who I am. And you made a post about the two sides of freedom freedom from and freedom as. And I would love to hear you speak live about this idea in this concept, because it’s really, really powerful.
So freedom from is moving away from something. For example, freedom from schedule, freedom from rules, freedom from limitations, freedom from the past, freedom from the No, but the freedom as is moving to with something freedom, as yourself, freedom as a human being and freedom as it moves into the direction of unconditionality. But I can be free even if I’m sitting in lockdown. I can be free, even if there are conditions and circumstances that are not optimal. Can you can you be free internally, regardless of the circumstances, and I always think about one incredible human being at this point. Anytime I think about freedom, Viktor Frankl, he was imprisoned in concentration camps during World War Two. And he wrote this famous book called A man’s search for meaning in which he shared how he survived. He survived by imagining that he’s lecturing, he was imagining that he survived and that he’s lecturing and sharing his insights. So he managed to be free, even in the concentration camp. Because to him, it was about who he was being how he chose to show up. And so my favorite question to us just with day to day freedom as a tool, who do I choose to be? What would make me proud? Who would I choose to be today? How do I choose to show up today? How do I choose to respond to this circumstance? Am I going to allow it to dominate me? Who am I going to choose my response?
Jenny I love what you said here. And it’s it’s so powerful, is inner liberation is an adventure in and of itself.
Violetta Yeah. Because I think it never ends. I think we always hit the next edge, the next edge, the next growth edge all the time, simply because life is nonlinear. We can’t have it figured out. I got silly people think oh, okay, I was three and then lagom came, I was still free. So that’s the test that the next thing comes, are you still free, so we have to renegotiate and rediscover ourselves and to that, we are growing after that we find what is important to us, also allowing our values to change. Because we are we are not we are not static. We are not cut in stone. And as human beings we change and evolve. So I guess we got to allow ourselves to always check in and be like, okay, is this still true? How I grown? is a time to update my definition of freedom, perhaps is a time to update the way I express myself. Is this the working? Is this still aligned?
Jenny So you said you said I believe this was like what you filled out when you want to come on the show. And it’s perfect timing because I wanted to ask you this. You said liberation comes when you can lean into your edge. How do we lean into our edge? What is our edge? How do we identify that?
Violetta That’s such a great question. To me, leaning into my edge means finding those places of growth that I’m not yet fully certain about. But I feel that it was right for me to go there. So it’s anything that feels uncertain, or slightly scary or slightly uncomfortable. So let’s say it’s, it’s difficult you, maybe it doesn’t rattle you, but it tickles you. So it’s like it’s, and that’s tickle. It can be confused with fear, because it’s the adrenaline but I think it’s actually excitement, excitement, about new possibility about thinking into something formless, or is about to be formed. So that’s the edge. To me, it is everywhere we we we either feel too much or not enough, because too much and not enough of basically two sides of the same coin is the coin of inadequacy. So anyway, when you feel inadequate, that is a gross, gross edge to own that to integrate that, maybe it’s a trigger, maybe it’s a shadow, maybe it’s a disowned part of you. But this is how we reclaim our wholeness. And it’s like we’re becoming bigger, we are becoming brighter. We take all those edges that feel uncomfortable or feel inadequate, it feels like oh, I’m too confident, well, maybe I’m not enough, or I’m not confident enough. You know, you take those edges and bring them home, you start embracing them, you start unpacking them. And that’s how you learn. Because he might discover that Oh, okay, there is like a big hairy wound and trauma day, okay, let me deal with that. Or another one to do. Oh, it’s actually just not me. It’s just a projection of other people. They put it on me, but it’s not me. So you can let go, let go of that. And why is that liberation is because then when you lean into your edge, it doesn’t own you, you own it, you are not owned by let’s say, your insecurity of being not competent enough. Or you are not owned by what people think you are too much, your 20s you’re not owned by it, you bring it home, you bring it back, now you own it, you’re free to not do that. It’s not like you now have to be loud and intense all the time. You can be that or you can not be that as a sign of it away. But at least it’s not. It’s not an issue. It doesn’t tickle you anymore. It doesn’t rattle you.
Jenny So is that is that the sign that you know, you’ve integrated it, that you’ve leaned into it?
Violetta Yeah, I believe so then you’re calm and centered. And it’s a non issue.
Jenny That’s awesome. Man, you know, this is a whole whole nother night. We don’t have to spend a lot of time on this. But it’s just a comment. Like, I wish that this stuff was taught, right, like taught earlier. And it’s not necessarily found in, you know, the edges of the internet, so to speak, because unless you’re into these things, you may never discover these things. I feel like mainstream humanity needs to hear this. These stand this through this, because this is some major stuff that can help everybody step into their power and their freedom.
Violetta Yeah, my dream is the outcome a day where a school, they read a children’s Human Design and their jinky profile, and then they teach them in alignment with the unique design, they don’t try to push a one size fits all kind of education, but they tailor make it to to the child where everyone gets recognized in their unique self expression. Again, back to my earlier point, if everyone felt loved and truly seen, there would be no need to impress, there would be no people pleasing, because we will be seeing each other for who we really are, there would be no hiding because it would be safe to be yourself. And I just wish we had that innocence tenants in give it to their kids at home. And we can give it to our friends, to each other to people close to us to strangers just to be more accepting of human diversity, and be more accepting of other people’s edges as well. Because our edges will rub off each other, we will trigger each other there will be a shadow play on storm that’s inevitable. This is this is all human feminine. But I just wish there was more more love to with each other and more recognition of our human needs and our uniqueness and respect for that.
Jenny So powerful. And really everyone listening when this goes live, and at any point in time. I feel like that’s a powerful call to action. Because a lot of times we think and this even ties in the throat chakra, you know, we think oh, you know, it’s just me. What difference Am I gonna make? But it’s not. It’s not just you. Yeah,
Violetta yeah, I want to say something on this. I think a lot of people get said that big, fat story of you need to go out there and change the world and pursue your passion and build this huge business or whatever, become famous. write a book or whatever, but I don’t think it’s everybody’s job. I think for some people they they are quite contained, living a non public life but making a difference for their family. So I think it doesn’t matter what your job is, it doesn’t matter how big your platform is, or how famous you are how well known everyone can make a difference. And everyone has a responsibility to make a difference, especially for those of us who are privileged to have the opportunity to do so I think it’s our it’s our sacred duty to make a difference with how we treat each other with how we support each other with how we show up with how we walk the talk. So leadership is not a big title, leadership is a choice. Leadership is how show up for the people in your life. It’s how you care for them, how you bring purpose to everything you do. And I think we we got to take a take the space that we have and fill it with authenticity and fueled with that key and with that performance.
Jenny I love it. And I think it’s a perfect time to ask another question. You just have so many interesting things that asking you questions was so easy. You know, just like between looking at your website and your Instagram, I was like, Oh, I want to know about this. I want to know about that. And hear your take on it. And what of it is you mentioned, you know how to create authentic, uncompromised self and soul expression. And I know we’ve touched on a lot of this, but those words trigger something different for me. Because to me, and I’d love to hear your take on this to me, I feel like self expression is a little bit Good going into our like our human life. And the way we are and how we show up as a human versus soul expression feels so much deeper. But maybe you don’t feel that way. I’m really curious.
Violetta I totally agree with you. I also feel the difference, self expression and soul expression, to me soul expression is it’s like, there’s something secret about it, something timeless. Because ultimately, you know, we never know for sure. But to me how to feel. Our soul is just a timeless essence. And it takes human form this body has its own unique way of being. But it’s almost like it wants to leave a legacy it wants to, to represent something that will stay. It wants to be remembered for having lived up to its own values. There was there is I think a high standard of integrity when we’re talking about soul expression. Because self expression can change moment to moment. But soul expression is the energetical signature. That is that will transcend time that that you will be remembered for. And I think we need to also remember that a lot of things we share, they’re just an opinion. And from the soul perspective, and listening is everything has has its own right to be. And very often people get so lost when it comes to self expression defending their opinion, in trying to be right, in trying to say the right thing in trying to convince everybody else and they forget that we’re where my soul truth is, there is also useful truth and someone else’s, so through and they all have the right to exist. So we need to hear all possible voices. And don’t think that because it’s my full truth, you need to move over, you know, everyone needs to have their space. And we need to have that respect. And remember that everything else is just the story I have in my head anyway. I don’t know if it’s if it’s true or not. The truth is subjective in a way, but higher truth assignment, and then we are just subjective expressions of it. And each of us adds a particular flavor.
Jenny Yeah, and even as you said that one of the things I thought was, you know, when it’s like this is my soul truth move over, then that’s the ego showing up.
Violetta Yes, exactly. Is that and people are saying to forget about it often and they get lost and they’re like, get so adamant about defending their so called so truth that they don’t realize that they’ve actually been hijacked here a little bit. Because that’s, again, interesting verse expressions. So truth doesn’t care. How many people agree or how many people here all that. It’s a bit it’s actually very neutral. It’s very impartial to me. So that Okay, I got a download. I put it into words, I share it. I share it just documented. I don’t care who sees it. I trust that it will reach people who need it. And I don’t care what happens next. It’s in a way like, it’s like, I’m a priestess, was coming to my temple and a conda to sit. It’s not it’s not it’s not personal. It’s not my own personal entertainment. As like, you know, sometimes I’m thinking it was up to me, I would just live in a cabin in the woods and not communicate with humanity whatsoever. Yeah. But I don’t have that luxury. But what I’m saying is like if I couldn’t get off social media probably would just for my own benefit, but I feel like because things are coming through, I want to share them. I want to share them as purely as I can. And it’s very risky. It’s very risky for many of us because we feel like oh, okay, does anyone know when key and will I be able to sustain myself if I become that radical, if I really forego any and you move in Any strategies and so on. So that is, that is the edge, that is the edge because the soul doesn’t cave with post the strategical, not the soul doesn’t care if the how, what’s the open rate on that newsletter and so on, it doesn’t care about that it doesn’t care about the metrics, maybe you have an assignment to reach does one person who commented, and that was the whole point of the post. So we don’t know, we need to be more nonlinear in how we measure things.
Jenny Yeah, you know, every time I think I want to get off social media, because there is a lot of just like negative energy on there. I remember times like this, you and I would have not met had it not been for social media. And so I know there’s a lot of magic in these tools, you know, but I have thought the same thing. Like there’s got to be a way to build this business without social media. But also, it’s a great way to connect to people. Yeah. And we thought about it so many times. So many times that I think I think part of that journey is also recognizing, when these feelings are coming up. I mean, everything we’ve talked about in this episode is just really about self awareness. It’s about noticing another like idea or another like example that came into mind as the typical what you see on TV or whatever a movie, or even like this played out in high school or with friends or whatever, you know, someone being like, well, I change and this is who I am, you know, when people get really like, a lot of emotion and a lot of like protection, like this is who I am, they need to just accept it. And so I feel like, while there may be truth in that, because it is who you are. There’s also this level of self awareness. Where is it really necessary to have that level of emotion, angsty anxiety frustration come up? When you say these things?
Violetta Yeah, I guess we all have chapters in our life where we have a healing to to do and of those times, it can be more intense and emotional. So I hold space and compassion for anyone who is now in the impressing chapter that just because they, they need to move through that yards. As you said earlier, we’re not taught this, we’re not too different. So I have compassion for people who are presenting themselves. So over social media for for attention, not condescending compassion, but I get that, I get that. And I just think okay, but I agree with you. Yeah, there is no need to flaunt it in people’s faces and be like, okay, okay, whatever. But again, when you get more centered, then you don’t do that anymore. Because you you have kind of gotten to that place of inner alignment. And with regards to social media, I’m just thinking, one question that I’m asking myself all the time, am I truly contributing? Or am I only adding to the noise? And I think it’s a very good check question to ask, before sharing before expressing because stillness is also part of Throat Chakra. stillness is also part of self expression, don’t miss our voice cannot be used all the time. Sometimes we need to learn to shut up and give it a bit of a break. Because through that, it can recuperate and it can come up with new things to share. So stillness is important, not adding to the noise is important. And I think sometimes less is more because again, it’s about impact the bridge of impact, not the quantity. And that in that stillness, we find ourselves in that stillness, we get a recent and in that stillness, we get a will that needs to impose or in praise, or fluent ourselves in in a desperate attempt to self Express.
Jenny Yeah, and another way to talk about that stillness. And this is something Jai has talked about, and taught me is the space between the notes and music. It’s absolutely necessary. Because if there was some kind of a note happening all the time, it’s just chaos. It would just be like, ah, like, we crave that space between the notes.
Violetta Yeah, our nervous system. Our nervous systems needs that.
Jenny Yeah, no, definitely. And even, you know, I’m just sitting here thinking like this whole, is what I’m creating, adding to the noise or adding impact. And one of the things that we’ve been doing as we are, we’ve have like a daily content piece going out, and we felt like okay, at least it’s helping us with visibility and keeping us Top of Mind, so we’re not forgotten, but also to a lot of those pieces then kind of add to the noise. So where do you feel like you know that the level of visibility so that you are top of mind because you know, and I and I learned this in sales, like you have to talk to people seven times before they actually like, get it?
Violetta Hmm. That’s a very interesting point because she asked him a paradigm shift, which means the question everything, I’ve questioned marketing rules, I’ve questioned the need to be on top of mind why? Why do you I don’t know. I would phrase it like this. Do I really need them to be thinking about me all the time, or do I need to do harness serendipity? And do I need them to think about me at the right time? Do I need to be talking to more people? Or do I need to be talking to the right people? So I’m currently very much in favor of slow living and slow marketing, and kind of quiet, being more still and quiet, because I’d rather have no engagement at all than have shallow engagement. And I guess it’s a bit individual for someone to share every day, if it’s appropriate to their audience. Yeah, because that’s the kind of relationship that you have with the audience. But some people sharing once a week as appropriate, I think there is no, no rule. And because again, it needs to feel right to you. But to me, I’m out of the race. I’ve out of the race. I’ve never been in that race, but I don’t care. I don’t care if on top of their mind, I don’t care if this is seven times or three times. Because I feel like I’m more invested in building deeper relationship with smaller audience. If that is just my way. I don’t want to have a big audience. I mean, maybe one day I will, but it’s not my goal I don’t care. I want to have deep relationships with, with people who, who I attract, because they are amazing people, I love them. So I my motto is go deeper and faster.
Jenny And I love it. I feel like it just continues to reinforce the point of expressing versus impressing. And really just checking with yourself and even checking, are you centered? Are you grounded? Who are you being loyal to?
Violetta Yeah. And I think we’re also moving into a completely new paradigm economy, a new paradigm of business, where it is no longer about hustle, it is no longer about those marketing rules that you need to have are no gasoline funnels with 500,000 steps. I think we’re moving into community economy where there is a lot more mutual support what I mentioned earlier, just and I think there’s enough for everyone to go around. And I think a lot of those marketing techniques and self expression techniques in business are powered by fear. They masquerade themselves as impact. They masquerade themselves as leadership, but actually, they of course, are driven because they are based on the thinking that all if I don’t create those gaps, if I don’t show up, often, then I’m gonna lose out. But what if we shift the narrative? What if we come from trust? What if we come from Okay, I really know my audience. I really share valuable stuff. I know what I’m doing. And I trust that it will reach the right people. I don’t have to micromanage that and I don’t have to go around. And Waste not, that’s not the right word. I don’t have to to go around soliciting attention. Because I’m just present. I’m just here Uncensored, I’m transmitting who I am I I’m available. I’m here I’m not hiding. I’m just like, I can only show it with my body. But imagine that when you essentially do just in the middle. When you are impressing your go towards people you’re imposing yourself on people with all those like endless noise and then analogy you’re moving too much into their space. And then at some point they yield they’re like they buy from you just to get rid of you. You know, there’s no olders keeper advanced marketing tools when we squeeze people until people like okay, whatever pocket already from my life. versus if we are hiding we are moving away we are we are we are hiding, we are closing off our chest collapses. But when we’re in the middle, then we playing the balance. We are not afraid of being more in the doing and active and exposing ourselves but we are also not collapsing and hiding. So there is this balance on the sedans. I guess it’s very personal. There is no recipe one needs to find what works for their business and for their personality type. Someone would be more like introverted or highly sensitive like me, I just can’t be posting every day like my highly sensitive Nervous System won’t be coping with that amount of interruption. I don’t want that in my life. So it’s my personal choice. But I know that some people feel cool with that. And for me, it’s all about self calibration and making an inner choice that is aligned with with who you are.
Jenny Yes, I love this is this is so powerful. And I didn’t even even though like we said it earlier that you’re a paradigm shifter. It really didn’t hit me until later when you said that. Because like Jai and I like we we’ve started to question everything. And we encourage our clients to question everything. And I love that that’s what you bring, because it’s really just what I love about the idea of questioning everything and paradigm shifting is just pausing and asking kind of why. And if the why still aligns fine. If it doesn’t, then maybe it allows you not maybe it does allow you to go a different direction that honors you more and even just what you said, that was like, hidden. What you didn’t say that I heard was just the power of boundaries, and respecting those boundaries because you’re like, no, this is not going to work for me. So I’m not going to do it that way. Period.
Violetta Yes, exactly. And I think it’s also the power of stepping away from something with respect. Because, again, no too was for everybody. For some people it works or whatever. Good luck, but not making it wrong. But also not taking anything at face value. I guess. I’ve always been very irreverent. I’ve always taken things apart and and be like, Said who? Okay, this is just some white dude is sitting in his privilege. And thinking that he is going to now may explain marketing to everybody. Okay, but let me question that dude, how did he get that knowledge? It’s just one use opinion that again, as what I’m seeing, I was just one girl’s opinion. You know, like, it’s not the gospel. It’s just my personal opinion, my opinion will world say, I guess we need to, we need to ask some questions. When you do become paradigm shift as collectively, we need to stop just accepting authority figures and gurus for what they say. Especially when we’re looking at history of personal development, how much of it is just the same type of person with same economic, social, cultural background, just taking the same thing, and spoon feeding it to the masses, really, and people are just eating it up because they are not exposed to anything else. And I always think, Well, you know, anybody can anybody with a lot of money can buy a lot of Facebook ad space and just impose themselves on the audience. And because they have a big following, many people will mistake that through expertise. That’s the problem. I found that very problematic. But people have very skewed perception of metrics, and very skewed perception of expertise and authority. And I’m asking myself, like, Why are people so obsessed with the status symbols? Why are they obsessed with metrics? When it comes to self expression? That’s, I think, the biggest paradigm shift that needs to happen between you to throw away all those vanity metrics. Yeah, I’ve
Jenny always wondered, I’ve always wondered that, like, you know, you’re sitting here and you’re posting and the stuff you post is like, powerful man. It’s like life changing shit. And like you said, it’s crickets. And then all of a sudden, when you become a millionaire, or you have a million followers, or whatever, that status thing, now you have all these people like chasing you down? Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, like they can’t wait to be in your space. I’ve always wondered like, man, why is there this thing? You know, like, we want to ignore people, it’s a status thing. Am I ignore you, because I don’t know if you’re worth it or not. I don’t know, if you’re, you know, somebody should follow your guru, your whatever that status symbol is.
Violetta That’s nothing we need, we need to start shifting that in our own intrapreneurial culture, how we treat each other, who we follow, who will respect who we who will give, who will give airtime? Who will give platform? Do we only give it to people with bigger following? Or do we give it to people who are authentic, and we’ll be sharing and have something unique to share. So I think we need to be more discerning with who we give our attention and energy to
Jenny Yeah, definitely, I was just in a clubhouse room, because we spent a lot of time in the wedding industry. And they were talking about, you know exactly what you said, having more diverse voices on the stages and on the platforms. And really, what it sometimes comes down to is for the conference organizer, they want the money they want the following. So they’re going to be more likely to bring on so and so who has a million followers, where they know, they can, you know, pad their purses, versus someone else where they may perceive that their audience is not nearly as wealthy or whatever. Like, that’s what drives it in some situations.
Violetta Yeah. And that’s very sad. I think we need to change that. And not just change it conceptually, but change it in our behaviors. We need to talk to decision makers like that and have conversations with them, and ask them questions, and issue a deer. So if I want to talk to that conference organiser, I would take them on, I would ask them a few questions. Yeah. Because if we don’t talk about who will?
Jenny yeah, no, it’s true, or even like those people who are influencers and are in this position to always get those roles for them to say, look, I will not speak on this unless there are, you know, these types of people or these types of audiences or whatever. So I’m out unless you create more diversity.
Violetta Yes, exactly. Exactly. This is how we create change when decision makers and people who are in positions of power and now following is power in social media age. They need to get on board with all that. Exactly. I love what you’ve just suggested. I think fantastic tactics.
Jenny Yeah, no, it’s I’m actually I’m excited because I actually heard it in clubhouse by someone from the LGBTQ arena because she said, I will not be the only LGBTQ speaker just to fill your quota. I will not sit in that seat. I will only do it if there is a lot more diversity so she really is the one who spot inspired that idea. So man, I feel like we could talk forever. There’s so many things you’re you’re like a whole wealth of like knowledge and resources. And for sure there are people listening who are like loving this resonating. What more so if they want to continue on the journey and continue to like be around you and your energy and the paradigm shifting and everything else you have to offer? Where would they go? Where what’s the next step? How do they work with you?
Violetta Yes, they can find me on my website and violettapleshakova.com, I do have some free resources there. And it’s a guided meditation, my centering practice, actually seven minutes practices all spelled out and explained. And also my Instagram @violetta.pleshakova so that you can connect with me there. So the best places
Jenny perfect. And if you’re like How the hell do I spell her name, just look at this episode because it’s gonna say Throat Chakra with Violetta Pleshakova. And you can just get the spelling right from there. Super simple. Thank you so much for coming on. It’s been an absolute pleasure to talk to you. You’ve definitely shifted my paradigm as well as the paradigms of everybody listening.
Violetta Thank you so much. It was amazing to talk to you. Thank you!
Jenny Of course. Alright, see you guys on the next episode. Bye. Thank you for listening to The Life Adventurist podcast. If you love this episode, remember to subscribe on your favorite podcast app. For Course Information freebies and to stay connected join our ohana that means family at www.2jholla.com/ohana. Remember to stay positive, enjoy the journey and most of all, keep those eyes open for all of the adventures surrounding you.