Why Focusing on a Goal Weight is Derailing Your Success

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Why Focusing on a Goal Weight is Derailing Your Success
Why Focusing on a Goal Weight is Derailing Your Success
Your weight fluctuates every hour of every day, so why do we let that silly little number define us? Breaking up with your scale can be incredibly empowering and make an unbelievable difference in how you feel about yourself. In this episode, Jenny and Jai share several healthy alternatives to weighing yourself. So put the scale away and shift your focus from weight loss to good health.

When you let your goal-weight define how you feel about yourself, it’s easy to feel negative about your progress and let your determination dwindle. So how can we shift our mindset to one that is health driven instead of focusing on the number that’s on your scale? Listen in as J & J share their thoughts on this topic and explain why it’s not about the goal weight, it’s about who you are, how you feel and the deeper transformation waiting to happen.

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* Intro Music*
Jenny: Welcome to The Hollastic Life show. I’m Jenny with a whole new way of starting. See there’s another snuff. Y’all I bet you’re going to be looking forward to this, like how many different ways can this show start? Why don’t you give it a shot? Yeah. But then you do it and you’re like, welcome to the wait, what show are we doing? What are we talking about today? Wait, are we even on the podcast?
Jai: I’ve never said that…I’ve never said, are we on the podcast?
Jenny: Maybe not verbally, but body language-ey. So anyways, I’m Jenny I’ve definitely said, what are we talking about?
Jai: Lean into that same energy right now. You’re trying to shut me out?
Jenny: Well, I’m ready. I’m leaning. If y’all see me, I’m posted up on this counter, like yo see he’s done. So anyways.
Jenny: All right. So welcome to the show. I’m Jenny… (pause), and this is clueless from our last episode who evolved into the other guy.
Jai: You know that was something different last week.
Jenny: Who’s the other guy.
Jai: Very good question.
Jenny: As if there’s like a third entity on the show. Yo like we’re entrepreneurs, we’re living at home. Right. That kind of like. I don’t know, kind of like seemed obvious, but whatever, just in case .Entrepreneurs, living at home and Jenny being like…
Jai: NO you’re living with your mother!
Jenny: Jenny being the like, regimented schedule this in because, you know, shoot, we wouldn’t shoot these podcasts. We’d be behind and scrambling and stuff. So I’m like, okay, we’re going to do these on Friday between two and 5:00 PM. We’ve been doing okay. But another shedding of a layer, corporate America, ladies and gentlemen, I took a nap and Jai said let’s do this later. So y’all, we are fire. Maybe we need to do like record these. Cause right now it’s 10:35 PM and we need to do this, like late night podcast recordings… He’s going to say, why did you do that?
Jai: Not with that face going on.
Jenny: I know it was kind of weird. Sometimes the thing I had in my head. There’s not what ended up well, if I were to use a different voice, that would have been perfect.
Jenny: Alright. So let’s get into what we’re talking about today. We’re doing great. So, so I’ll wait. Yeah, I just pulled up. I was like, so what are we talking about? Let me get my paper. Rubbing off on me, baby. All right. So goal weight. Why focusing on goal weight is derailing your success… transition. Okay. I’m like trying to think.
Cause there’s like a hundred different ways to start this. Well, let’s just go with my story.
Jai: Let’s go.
Jenny: I have secretly been wanting. And trying to get to my goal, weight of 170 or 175 for probably over 10 years. Let’s just get real here. And usually when I’m asked to write down a goal weight one 70 or 175 is the thing I put down.
I’m like, Oh yeah, you know, I’m going to lose that 10, 15, 20 pounds. He would go. And really what, 175. Means to me is that, wait, when I was out of college, I was playing a lot of sports. I was super active. You know, I’ve felt really skinny at the time. And what’s crazy is if I’m really honest with myself, the pants that I wore when I was 175 and skinny I can actually fit into now, even though I weigh 190 and I guarantee. That is because my body composition is completely different than it was when I was 20, whatever 23, right out of school, 22, I guarantee it, I am likely much more healthy now than I was when I was 22. So the reason we bring up this goal weight..
Jai: Before you go there, let me ask you kind of explain it though, but like, why has that stuck as a goal weight?
Jenny: You always ask the good question.
Jai: That’s what I’m here for.
Jenny: No, of course. Let’s see. I think it’s because to me at that time I thought I was skinny and I was super active. And so for me personally, I had never been 190 or over 200, which is that’s where we were. When we got married, I was over 200, like 210, and I had never carried or been that way and never thought I would. And so I think it’s a little bit of an identity and it also reminds me if I really think about it is it’s like thinking about and dreaming and secretly wishing that I want to be 175. It’s almost like I am wanting to be the me. From the past versus really focusing and celebrating and enjoying and being grateful for the me of today.
Jai: Wow. One of the things I love about this show is like, we just don’t talk about health, fitness, and wellness stuff. You see, we kind of go deep into it and I’m pretty sure other people go deep as well. But for the most part, if you’re not in that particular tribe or you don’t really stumble upon those people, it’s mainly, you know, the workouts and what you should eat, but not a lot of people dig into like the mindset.
Like, you know, I’m still trying to do this because I still think I’m 23 or I still want to be 23 or I still want to do the things I was. Able to do at 23 with like totally negating the stuff that you’re able to do now. And it’s a process of growth and evolution. Cause you can’t be that person, that person is gone and they’re never coming back.
That person. Was who you need to be at that particular time, but it’s like, we still try to do those things instead of doing the things that well honor help us grow for the person we are like today. Cause there’s some stuff I look back on and wish I could still do bike walking, riding everywhere, and one hand pull-ups and doing crazy shit on a pull up bar, but that was 20 years ago.
Jenny: Wait, wait, wait, hold on. So here’s me playing devil’s advocate though, right? Because I’m like, okay. If you wanted to do those things right now, you very well could because there are people who are in their forties, fifties, sixties who can do the one arm pushups riding their bike everywhere. Like you definitely could do that. So I’m playing devil’s advocate. Cause we’re talking about having this secret wish to be kind of like how you were, but where does the line, like, where is it? Okay, let go of the past and be who you are today because you couldn’t do those things.
Jai: What we’re doing those things right now benefit me though. Then it was on his bad ass trainer. I can do this. You want to work with me? Cause I can do this. And it was kinda like an ego thing, like ms. Bad-ass who could do like this. So it was an ego thing for me doing those things. But now it’s like, I don’t have to prove anything to anybody. So it’s kinda like you see those dudes. Or those videos are the dudes don’t want a crazy pushups. You know what I’m saying? The plyo pushups down to their forearms to the cross, the Superman and they push up and like slap behind the back and then they roll over. And it’s this show of, for lack of a better word athleticism, but it’s like, okay, that looked cool, but what does it really benefit? So that’s why I said it’s a part of growth and evolution because at 20, 23, 25, I was definitely at a different mindset. Then I’m at 40, cause it’s like, Oh, Am I going to hang out with my friends and just bust out and says, Hey, Hey guys, look like I can do a handstand on this barrier right here.
Like if I slip and fall, you know? So like, what does that benefit? Like at 20, 25, it was cool. It was like, Oh, look at me, look at what I can do. But now, like at 40 it’s like being smarter.
Jenny: Well, it’s aligning with your life goals at this point, because I feel like that’s the thing. I mean, if you still wanted to be able to do the one arm pushup and the one arm pull up and whatever, if you want to do do that, those could definitely be your goals right now, but the intention, the purpose, the drive behind them. Would it be different because if it was still about ego, right. Or wanting to be like that younger version of you, it’s like, you have to find something else to drive you because maybe you just want to, it’s something fun for you to build your strength and you like the way you feel when you do those kinds of exercises. And it becomes like a challenge because like, for me, when I’m playing my sports, I like feeling a certain way when I play the sport. So that’s what drives and motivates me to be better. And yes, I want to win and stuff too, but it’s like, I think that’s the thing. You could still maybe have those as goals, but you may have to realign the Why? What’s driving you behind them.
Jai: Some people may agree disagree, but yeah, you have to realize, and as you get older things change mentally, physically things change. So all those things change. So even, yes, I could still do those things, but it’s going to be more challenging in my opinion, the older you get, because you have to readjust to the way that you train because your body is different. Like the testosterone thing with guys, you had more testosterone younger than you do when you’re older. And then like when you get older, certain things kind of matter more. It’s less about having the, the pack or the chills at arms, because those are just like glamour muscles, but you can still be strong without having to look like a Greek statue.
You know, you can still do those things. And it becomes more about for me, mobility, you know, and flexibility because I don’t want to be 50, 60, 70, and be like one of those dudes walking around having to take a six inch steps hunched over. So priority shift is kind of like you say, the intention what’s driving 20, 23, 25.
What drove me was taking my shirt off and having chicks being like “ooh!” and me being like “haha”
Jenny: For sure I was one of them.
Jai: So yeah, the drive was different and that was like, I don’t need to do that mainly because I have you, but I don’t need to do that. The drive has shifted to more longevity.
Yeah, sustainability, longevity and sustainability, and to how I had to train. And because part of that was training. Part of that was teaching. Part of that was learning, part of that, all that, the type of damage I was putting on my body, like in real life.
Jenny: Right. Yeah. You know, and I think if we go back to the whole, how and why focusing on the goal weight is completely wrecking your results. If you’re hearing what we’re talking about, it’s like, what’s the intention behind it in this goal, weight and being obsessed about a goal weight, it’s all about shifting your focus. I mean, if you listen to our last episode about breaking up with the scale, we really went in a little bit deeper about shifting your focus because I don’t care if you’ve heard this once or you’re going to hear it a million times. One of the things that Jai always talks about is, Oh my God. Losing weight.
Jai: Oh, you talking about the icing on the cake cherry on top. Oh, well I see a lot of coordination. Oh, that’s true. But yet if you do the thing..
Jenny: And it may not even matter. Honestly, if you feel good, you fit in your clothes good. And you’re happy with your energy. Honestly, the weight that you are, it doesn’t even matter.
Jai: Losing weight is such a superficial goal because your weight is going to fluctuate. And after you reach that particular goal, then what?
Jenny: Well, it’s easy to let up and bounce back and gain it all back. On our intake forms, we do ask like what the person’s goal weight is, but I think it’s always good to have an idea where people are. And what their expectations are. Right? Because that way we can help them through that process to really realign and redefine what that means to them. Because think about this, right? If your goal is to have a certain amount of energy mobility, to be able to feel great in your clothes, like if those are your goals, then it becomes a lifelong thing because then like you said, it doesn’t end, right?
That’s the driving force. But if your goal is to hit a certain weight and honestly right now, at 190. Yes, there are some things, cause we always talk about this, right? Like you start feeling the back fat. Yeah. And you’re like, I don’t like the way that feels. I kind of want something a little bit different. I mean, there can be drivers and man, I don’t know, I’m about to spin off in a different direction so you can pull it back in, but it’s kind of like, there’s a lot of ladies who are always like, Oh my God, my arms and my face and my neck, you know, like nitpicking and all these little things on our bodies that we’re not happy about.
And for me, I want to love my body. As is and where I’m at and focusing on those things, like to me just brings me down. I don’t like the energy of focusing on those things.
Jai: Yeah. Because. People are already down because of that. So it’s hard to say, love yourself in your body, where you’re at, when there are so many things you don’t love about it. And you go out of your way to Dodge the mirrors in your house. So I get it.
Jenny: It’s deeper. It’s deeper than the house I grew up in and the family I grew up around. I mean, it definitely comes through, like you said, I can’t remember if you said it this episode or previous one about how maybe it was a seed planted when you were younger, a mom or grandma or whatever, been like, Oh, you gained weight girl.
Like. Whoa, what’s going on. And I’ve witnessed my mom and my aunts and all of them, you know, be like, Oh my God, I’m so fat. Oh, I hate my face. I hate like just nitpicking at themselves. And I was always like, like stop. Why do you guys say all those things? So, I mean, that’s been in me since I was a little kid and didn’t understand why they were always like putting themselves down.
So I’m grateful that that’s something that I grew up with and definitely can help other people do the same.
Jai: It’s hard if you’ve grown up in an environment where things like that are pointed out all the time and there’s nothing wrong, but you go around thinking, because even if you’re a little kid and your mom says, Oh, you’re gaining a little weight. You’re always going to think that if then it shifts into, okay, well I have to do this because I don’t want to look a certain way. I’ve known people say they’ve quote, unquote reached their goal weight. You know what I’m saying? And they still like the person on the outside didn’t match the person on the inside. Because physically yes, they lost that weight, but mentally they were still self-conscious about who they were are, who other people felt they should be.
Jenny: Which is why gold weight is, can be so detrimental and is detrimental to all of your success. Cause it’s not about the goal weight, right? It’s about the confidence that you have and who you are and how you feel it’s about that deeper transformation. I mean, I love hearing the stories about when you were training clients, at a gym and your sessions…
Jai: Where else would I be?
Jenny: At their home or outside bootcamp? I don’t know. Like I was just thinking like the gym one.
Jai: You remember that time he trained the guy in there in the deli, in the grocery store? Yeah, that was a good one.
Jenny: You could have been at his house anyways. So now I just think about like, when you said some of the biggest transformations with your clients were the other stuff. The other mental blocks that was keeping them from reaching their goals. The other mental blocks, the other forces of opposition, like one of our business coaches always talks about the forces of opposition.
Like when you’re going really hard after a goal, like everything’s going to come up and knock you off your path. Right. And those other things those other obstacles. Cause it’s not just. Well, let me do this thing and I’ll lose weight. Like there are so many layers. Yeah. Layers.
Jai: You might not even know, or layers that have been like buried deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, and like they self consciously or subconsciously rather trigger you.
Jenny: Right. And sometimes we’re not aware of them. And that’s part of the journey. That’s part of the process. And for sure that process is not one that you should go alone in. Because it can be very lonely going and dealing with those things as they come up and not knowing like, what is this? Cause like, we talk about what you’re focusing on, the goal, weight and everything, and talking about the person you were before versus the person you are now. Right. And where are your focus is? As we were talking about this, it reminded me of when I started traveling the nation. And I was on airplanes all the time and I’m sitting down a lot more and I was having some major challenges with my glutes, my hamstrings and everything else being really tight. And I couldn’t understand. I was like, what is this? Like, I’m young. What is this? And what did you tell me?
I try to serve him up, but apparently he’s off in Lala land. So, no, like when you told me you were like, you have never, cause I was always a traveling sales rep, but I was getting in and out of my car all the time. I never had a position, a role where I was sitting for that amount of time and he’s like, you’re going to have to adjust your shit.
You need to put new things into your life to support this new lifestyle. Right.
Jai: Cause you would be like, and the cars to the airport, airport to a different city. Land in the city, get in the car, go to the hotel, look at stuff, go to dinner, eat, go back to the hotel, sleep, get up, go sit down.
Jenny: Right. So it was a totally different, and I bring that up because it was almost like I was trying to operate with my old information.
Right. I was trying to operate in how I knew things had worked in the past. For me or for other people. And I was trying to apply those things to my situation and it was not working. All in the meanwhile secretly wishing I weighed 170. And then honestly, because I already broke up with a scale on, I already crushed that shit with hammer years ago.
But especially, you know, you stand on the scale and you just wish magically that the 170 will show up. Right? My goal weight, literally, I swear this goal weight has been there for probably like 10 or 15 years. I promise you it’s for sure. Been there. And this is my first time, like openly saying it out loud and admitting it.
Cause it is always like the thing in the back of my mind. Hm. I am going to release the goal weight and I can’t wait to see what magic happens because it probably, most likely is a huge block energetically in my body and in my journey of health and fitness, the secret wishing. I’m going to let it go. I’m going to release it. I don’t need to weigh 170 if I end up weighing that. Cool. It doesn’t really matter how many times I’ve said that I’m talking about now. I’m actually like going to believe it, deep down. I’m gonna weigh what I weigh as long as I feel good and fit in my clothes. Well, transformation. I’m serious. I’m serious. Call me out if I’m like, if y’all hear a little hint of 170 goal weight, because as we said, it’s literally derailing your success.
Jai: Literally.
Jenny: Literally period, full stop, mic drop.
Jenny: Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s apparently the end of our podcast. When Jai stops and looks around and goes, it’s time to wrap it up.
Jai: So don’t get caught up on it. Go wait. So many other things you can focus on, focus on how you feel. No, that things are going to change because that’s what life does. And step back, readjust and realign and get back in there. Get’er’done.
Jenny: Wow. That was really white.
Jai: You’re welcome.
Jenny: Just what I asked for Friday night treat. Date night. Anyway, alright guys, till next time.
*Outro* Hello, you can subscribe to the Hollastic life podcast from your favorite streaming platform. And don’t forget to check out to to stay in the know as an official to 2J insider. Mahalo for tuning in. And until next time, that’s our show..

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