Setting the Atmosphere

Phoenix: Hey guys, what the deal is. Happy, happy day in the summer this heat is crazy. Is it really hot where you at? I know where I’m at it’s like 95 degrees. The humidity is off the hook; feeling like 100 degrees. Child, child, child, child, child. Anyway, welcome to Life is P.

I’m your host, Phoenix Ash. My people call me P. Thank you for joining me. If this is your first time, thank you so much. Um, shout out to however you found me, whether it be a retweet on Twitter, you just scrolling through podcasts or your mother, sister, cousin, brother, auntie, put you on, your husband, your wife, whatever your girl, your guy puts you on.

Thank you so much for giving me a shot. Um, if you are a repeat listener, what up you know I love you. Thank you for giving me a platform to share my voice. Okay, let’s get into it. I had a totally different topic. I told y’all before this is happening to me on a regular recently. So I have a totally different topic.

However, I had a conversation; which I always do, right? I’m always yap, yap, yap, yapping. I had a conversation with my homegirl and we were talking about positive thinking and negative thinking and, you know, everything that we speaking or whatever. And the phrase, set the atmosphere, came to mind and I really wanted to talk about that.

Setting your atmosphere. Um, I’ve been talking a lot lately about speaking things into existence and designing your life and being really intentional and really focused on where you’re going, as opposed to where you’re not going. Focus on what you want, as opposed to what you don’t want and changing the language in which you speak. So that the universe is clear about what you want and what you would like have come into your life. I definitely believe that we were built to work within the universe and within its’ patterns. That if you learn to speak the universe’s language, that that can help propel you forward in life. You can learn to read the writing on the wall. You can learn to practice your discernment.

You can learn to just peep things really quickly, too. I’ve been talking about how fast I’ve been seeing things just move in my life and a lot of it, I’m going to be honest with you, is stuff and people moving out the way. Which is what I want for me, because I sometimes get attached to your problems or get attached to your flaws and try to figure out how to fix or how to help, how to motivate, how to get you through. Which can be extremely draining and not very rewarding, honestly. So, for people and things to move out my way really quickly and show me that this not even for me right here. Like there might be a small gift here, but this is not someplace that I’m supposed to spend a lot of time. That is happening for me and I appreciate it no matter how hurtful it is sometimes. I appreciate the swiftness of, I believe in God, so I believe in the swiftness of God. Whereas, you know, God is swift and I thank him for it and the more that I say it, the faster it is. And, you know, I actually had a situation where I said to the guy, I was like, God is swift, as he was removing himself from the situation.

I was like, yo, God is, God is so swift, because I actually thought that this was something, but now I see it’s not what I thought it was. So whatever. But at the same time, it’s happened so many times where people are being moved out the way and then I meet someone who I’m like, the situation is changing, but they’re not fully moved out the way.

So now I talk to God and say, okay, well, what you want me to do here? What, what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to give? Am I supposed to receive? Is it both? Is it, how do I make the best of whatever’s happening here. And I’m just trying to set my atmosphere to be in alignment with what I believe will be my healthiest life.

I no longer am in a place where I want to just give, give, give, give, give pour, pour, pour, pour, pour, pour, because somebody, something has to refill me. And I know that there’s some, somebody in my life, particularly in the Christian community, is going to tell me, well, God’s supposed to refill you, that’s where you get your refill.

And I understand that, but God uses people too. Just like he’s using me, to fill somebody else up, he’s going to use somebody, something, some situations, some careers, some whatever, to refill me. But I have to be conscientious of my balance, because I can’t pour from an empty cup. We all know that, right?

We’ve seen that a billion places and it’s. We’ve seen it so much, because it’s so true. And I think we see it whenever somebody comes to the realization, like, wow, this is really, this is a saying, but it’s a cliche, but yo, this is really true because I’m exhausted and I can’t give anymore and I’m self destructing and I’m not pouring into myself.

And I’m not doing what I need for myself. So, if somebody is going to say, well see, that’s what you talking about, you got to do stuff for yourself, so you can refill yourself. I understand that. But I don’t feel like we’re supposed to work in a silo. I don’t feel like I’m supposed to, you know, fill myself, create my self fulfillment and then pour that out to someone else and then I got to go back and then do my self fulfillment. How come they don’t need to self fulfill? How come I got to pour out and I got to, you know what I’m saying? So where’s the person who’s going to pour into me? And it took me a long time to get here, especially when I think of career, right? When you are a creative, I mean, look at the whole thing with, you know, the actors and the writers, you know, the writers need to be paid, right?

When we thinking about film, movie, all of that, and we’re. I think astonished that they’re not being paid better, because these are the creators of the content. And it’s amazing that you don’t think that the content creators need to be paid. It’s astonishing and crazy. It’s crazy how they pay actors. Especially actors who haven’t made it to the quote on quote, A-lists yet, like it’s such a huge jump, but Isn’t that in business, right?

Like regular employees, associates, like there’s such a huge jump to quote on quote management. It’s foolish, right? The scale isn’t, isn’t balanced properly and I don’t know who established that, but fuck this shit, fix it. Like fix it and if it takes strikes and lack of TV and movie content in order for them to fix it, then so be it, but fix it. Part and it, it speaks to me primarily, because, you know, I’ve been a creative all my life. Whether I’ve written music, poetry, screenplays, whatever, books, all of that, are areas in which creatives get taken advantage of. Where we’re so like thirsty and so hungry to have, it’s a public gift, so we wanna share it. And people take advantage of that and say, you know, I’ll give you exposure in exchange for your content. So if the content makes money, they make all the money and pay whomever they choose to pay for exchange, for exposure. You’re doing it for exposure. There’s no dollars to it. There’s no meals to it. There’s no light bills to it. There’s no mortgage or rent to it. There’s no car note to it. And that’s unfair because you have to live.

And so for a lot of creatives, we have to live outside of our passion in order to make a living, a quote on quote respectable living, while people take our content and make their own living off of it while we did it for exposure.

And it’s exposure to what? You just primarily, you get exposed to somebody else who wants to do the same thing and offer you the same deal or, or it’s slightly better. And because you’re inching to that slightly better, you don’t even know what to ask for anymore. You don’t even know what’s fair anymore.

What’s market price for what it is that you do or what it is that you create. You know you got to understand market price. I think it’s the same thing in love and relationships, right? So, at least when I was younger, and you know, it’s for people pleasers and you know, people who were missing some kind of love growing up, missing some kind of pouring, some kind of confidence and you know, everybody’s story isn’t the same and it doesn’t come out the same way. It’s not expressed the same way.

But for me, you know, my parents died when I was very young. So, there’s that unconditional, I love you no matter what, I love you no matter what you do, no matter what you say. I’m gonna discipline you, I’m gonna teach you right, but I love you anyway, was missing from my life.

The love that I received felt very conditional. As long as you act right, as long as you do what I say, as long as you stay in line, as long as, you know, you follow these rules. And I’m, I was a child. So, naturally, my, um, rebelliousness is going to rise up and test the world. Test my own feet. Test my own flight.

That happens. You get to the point where, like, you’re maturing and, and you’ve received certain things and you want to test what you know. You want to test how well you can put these things that you’ve learned into practice. And it’s not just the stuff your parents taught you, it’s what the world taught you.

Going to school, being around peers. So, there’s some testing that’s going on. And kids of all ages test what they know. Babies, when they’re learning to walk, they’re testing what they know. They’ve learned to crawl. They’re holding on to things and moving side to side, right? And so when they finally let go, it’s the test of what they know. And if you hurry up and grab them, Oh no, you’re too small. Oh no, whatever. You know, they don’t get to walk. They don’t get to get the strength in their legs. They don’t, you know, it takes them a little longer. So, you kind of have to, like, let them fall a little bit to see if they remember how to get up. I know I went into like a little hole with that.

But for me, the way that I imagined love to happen for me, it was, it has always been a chase my entire life. And it took me a lot to like, come to that realization and say it out loud, because I’m such a Brooklyn girl and I’m such a, like, prideful person that I’m like, I’m not chasing nothing. I’m not. But you know, it’s clear to everyone else who has the confidence, who has the love in their life, who has love of self, it’s obvious to all those people that you’re chasing.

They can see your chase. And so we do all these kinds of things to refute the fact that we’re chasing. And then we overcompensate. We, we get this hard shell, like, well, then nobody can come in. And then you’ll see that I’m not chasing anything. I’m not chasing anybody, but that’s not healthy either. But the hard thing is that when you find someone that you feel like is worth pouring yourself into.

The hard thing is when that person suddenly doesn’t become worth that, right? In this dating culture, a lot of people get ghosted. I mean, things are going perfect, and then boom; somebody disappears. People don’t give you a reason, or you think things are fine, and then somebody says, you know what, I don’t think you’re for me, or there’s a different situation that I want to put my energy into. And you’re like, dumbfounded, like, what, what just happened?

And I think sometimes, that it’s not that it’s so blindsided, like, it’s not coming from nowhere, but we’re so focused on what we want. And the, the, the closeness, right, of the goal is so, like, we could taste it. And so we’re focused and we’re like, I’m going to show this goal. Not necessarily this person, but I’m going to show this goal, how bad I want it. That I’m going to, you know, because that’s, that’s what people say, right?

Like when you want some, how bad do you want it? So, I’m going, I’m going to do everything in my power to show you how bad I want it. But sometimes, I think that that is the phrase created by the person who wants to manipulate what it is that you want, right? If we think about it, the, the tastemakers, the people who, you know, hold the, the gatekeepers, the people who hold whatever position that you want or whatever can give you the yes or can give you the opportunity or whatever, that how bad do you want it?

Well, I want it passionately. But, how much of me do I got to risk? Why do I have to risk so much of me in order to show you how bad I want it? You know, when I think of, I, don’t get me wrong, I’m one of the few people that I know that like Puff, right? I like Puff Daddy, and I only like him primarily because like, he’s relentless.

You know, I’ve been around for a lot of years. And seeing the whole City College event, where there was a whole stampede and people swore his career was over then. And that was before it truly began; he wasn’t, like, Puff as we know it. And I was a little girl, and I remember that and people suing him because people died or whatever.

And then, you know, just somehow over the years, the reinvention and just relentless, just coming. And so that’s great. But then I remember also hearing him like, you know, making up the band and stuff like that. And, and how bad do you want it? And having these people say, I want it so bad that I’m going to walk to get you motherfucking cheesecake.

Like what? Or, you know, I want to do this. I get the whole, like, how bad do you want it? Are you willing to train? Like being in the gym, jogging, getting your breath control together, you know, recording, spending time writing, that’s all pouring into your craft. That all makes sense because, you know, especially like getting in a gym and getting your breath control, you know, that relates to you being on stage, but getting you cheesecake, like I want it so bad that I got to be your gopher that I have to let, and you know that you’re putting your foot on my back.

You know that you don’t need me to do this. You just enjoy watching me strip myself of what I believe is my dignity and integrity, because I want this so bad. And I sometimes think about, you know, maybe that’s why I’m not further along in my writing career, because I refuse to strip my integrity; I refuse to strip my dignity.

And so I’m going to give you a draft that I’ve looked at two, three, four times. It’s not going to be a first draft. It’s not going to be, I wrote this book in, you know, 15 days, because I need to read it. I need to rewrite it. I need to think about it. I need it to fully develop. I need it to, you know. I saw something today on Instagram where somebody was giving, you know, the list of their pricing.

And they were like, you know, this book for this length, you know, but not too much work went into it. You know, there’s at, no matter what the length is for me, there’s work. And I can’t tell you not too much work. There was work that went into it. So, I can’t sell you something that not too much work went into.

That’s just not me. And you know, I’ve been told plenty of times that my process is what costs me, because it takes too long. But my process is also what maintains my integrity and what maintains my dignity, because I know that it’s of value. You know, sometimes when I read my old books, I cringe because I’m like, Oh my God, I’m still finding errors, because I didn’t have the greatest, the greatest publisher at the time, or even the greatest editor at the time.

And so, I still see the errors and I’m like, Oh my God, it’s cringeworthy to me. But I can’t put the time in to go back and one day I will put the time in to go back and correct all those things so that everything is in order. So, I try to make it better, going forward. I want to get better. I want to constantly get better.

I want when people read my lot of works to say, Oh, I see the development. I see the evolution. I see how this will come. And I have to suck that up and recognize that I may not be writing the greatest novel right now. But, I’m in the process of writing the greatest novel, by writing all these other novels to get to that.

Just like when I think about my happiness, you know, if I’m not happy now, I’m on my way to being happy. I’m in the process of happy. If I’m not joyful now, I’m in the process of joy. I’m on my way to being joy. Everything, because, that’s where I’m going, and that’s my focus. If I’m not rich now, I’m on the way to being rich, because it’s a process, and I’m working through my process.

If I’m not successful now, I’m on my way to success, because it’s a process, and I’m in process. And that’s how I’m trying to set my atmosphere. That’s how I’m trying to speak in my area, like, you know. When you are going to work and you’re so frustrated with everybody and everything that’s around you, it’s so easy to walk in the door and have a scowl and like, Oh my God, these people, Oh my God, I need coffee. Oh my God. But when you walk in the door and you’re like, “Hey, how you doing?” First of all, when they see that you unbothered, they tend to bother you less, because they can’t move you. That or they work harder and then they lose focus on what they should be working on and they show themselves to not be an employee of value, because they’re so focused on trying to trip you up that they’re not doing what they supposed to do.

Either way they lose, right? So you walk in and you, “Hey, how you doing?”, “Anything good?” Cool. Sit down, do what it is that you’re supposed to do. Keep your cheery disposition. You don’t have to be an ass kisser. You don’t have to be somebody who’s over the top. But somebody who keeps their rules about them, you know, keep it straight.

Keep your integrity. When you walk in, if you’re the type of person who was taught when you walk into a room you say “Hello”; Then walk into the room and say hello. Be consistent with that. “Hey, how you doing?” You don’t even, look how many times people say how you doing? They don’t really want to know the answer. You ain’t doing nothing crazy. So, you know you get in there, But you set your atmosphere, you set your tone, you set your, you know, I already got my wall up against the enemy. My positivity has already risen its walls and has already said, if you’re not here for positive stuff, like stop right here. Stop right here. Cause I’m, I’m about my business. I’m getting to it. I’m getting to the work. And honestly, When you come in with that attitude, I feel like you get more work done.

You’re more focused, like, because you’re setting a tone. You coming from the get go, creating, like, we gotta do that in relationships too. Set the tone for yourself. Like, what is it that you’re doing? I am surrounded by love. Love is what I receive. Love is what I give. Love is my life. Well, I feel like when you approach the world like that, then that is what the world will give you back.

Love will be around you. Love will be in your life. And it’s not always going to be returned from the same spot that you poured it out at. But it’s, it’s in your atmosphere; it’s floating around you. You put it out in the air, and sometimes it’s your own love coming back to you. Sometimes it’s the love of your child, you know, love of a sister, cousin. It may not be romantic love, but still, it comes back to you. It comes back to your whole fulfillment, cause you’re just like, I am love, people are attracted to me. Rather than, you know, how come relationships don’t last, You know, I give all of this. I give all of that. And it’s like, maybe they not supposed to last, because they’re not feeling you. You’re not being’ loved in the situation. You’re not receiving in the situation. And you’re so focused on I give, I give, I give, you know, love that’s around me is different from all I do is give love, right?

All I do is give love is, is very draining. It’s just pouring, pouring, pouring, but when love is around me, it means I exist in love. I walk in love. Love is everywhere I look. Everywhere I look is love. People are drawn to me, like, why, why people who, you know, um, drain me, want to take advantage of my talent, want to take advantage of my heart?

Why are all these people so attracted to me? It’s because you’re putting out the calling card. You’re like, I’ma give, I’ma give, I’ma give. You’re pulling out the calling card. But when you say, you know, walk in love, I give in love. It’s not that those people are not attracted to you. They are. They are, even more so, because they know that you’re a center of love. However, they know that they can’t stay, because you gotta be filled, and the guilt for a lot of people would just be like, you know what, let me get out this person’s way, because I’m not here for them, they deserve so much more, and I’m not the person who can give it to them. They may introduce you to someone, you know, and be like, you know what, I think you need to meet such and such, I think y’all are good people. Y’all might get along, you know, I have friends that I’ve met that way, with a person that I was dealing with, in a supportive capacity. You know, business wise, I was supporting someone’s film, but they knew that they couldn’t pour into me the way that they felt I deserve to be poured into.

So they introduced me to someone who ended up becoming a very good friend. And that person is actually the producer of this podcast. And we have been friends for years and You know, things just came to be. And the person who introduced us, sadly enough, passed away, but I’m so grateful for her, because she was like, I can’t pour, but this girl is walking in like giving and receiving. She’s walking in love and there needs to be something that comes back to her. And I feel like this other direction is going to be the thing that helps her move forward. This is how I can pour into her is by putting, like turning her around, like, let me redirect you and go over there. And I think that that’s better for you.

But we have to be able to not be so offended when things don’t work. You know, we talk about men or women, depending on who you date, who fumble us. And I often say, like, you know, fumble means that they intended to keep you. So, like, every drop is not a fumble. Sometimes it’s a freeing and just, you know, they’re passing the ball. Like, it’s not a fumble. They’re like, you know, this is not for me. And that’s okay.

But when you walk in, set your atmosphere, you not focused on why you don’t want me. You know, when you go into a job and you don’t get the job, when you go into an interview, or you submit your manuscript, or submit your photos, or submit your film, or whatever it is, submit your dance routine, or try to get in a video, or you know, audition for a play, the focus of why didn’t I get it, can really pull you out the game.

Rather than, well, okay, that wasn’t for me. I’m going to continue to hone my craft and then I’m going to go on to the next audition. I’m going to go to the next time with a cement. I’m going to keep working. And because what’s for me is here, it’s coming and set the expectation. Your joy is coming, your happiness is coming, your fulfillment, your destiny, all of that is coming.

Expect it. Expect it to show up. And sometimes it shows up in pieces. You know, I often say like, you know, I often say a lot of things, but I often say like over the past couple of years, I feel like the men that I’ve dated is truly a turning point in the caliber of men that I have dated in my past. So I’m like, I definitely hit a turning point. You know, I feel like it’s a better breed. Oh, if that even really exists, but you know, more in alignment with where I want to go. I’m not quite there, but more in alignment with where I want to go and what I receive and what I want for my life. But it’s also, because I’m exemplifying, this is what I want. This is what I need. I’m speaking it. I’m living it. I’m providing it for myself. I’m creating it in my atmosphere, so that, if you are not up to par, or if you got some bullshit going on with you, you uncomfortable. You uncomfortable and you need to go get comfortable somewhere else, right? I’m making all that other energy uncomfortable in my presence, because I’m set in my atmosphere.

I’m like, listen, you know, you coming in here, you want to get me well as me and you want to run me down your list of problems. There might be one or two that I can help with, but like, I’m not here to listen to all your problems. I’m not a therapist. I may even suggest therapy to you. I may say, have you tried therapy? Because you might need somebody who’s trained in this to talk to. Because if you got 40, 000 problems, every single time I talk to you, and every day that I talk to you. Like, that’s not my atmosphere. And You know, I am aware enough to know that okay, I can only give this piece of me, in this this, right, because I do want to help, but I can’t internalize.

I can’t take it on. I can’t make your stress my stress. I can’t do all of that, because I’ve, I’m building something here and what I’m building is love. For me, that’s what I’m building. I’m building love. Not Just romantic love, not just the love of my child, not just the love of myself, but the love of my life. The love of my life is me loving my life. That is the love of my life. Me enjoying the days that I have on this earth. Me pursuing my dreams in joy. Me earning a living in joy. Me taking care of my child in joy. That is the love of my life. That’s what I’m crafting here. That’s what I’m building here. And that’s the atmosphere.

So, when you are not in alignment with my atmosphere, you are uncomfortable. And so you excuse yourself and I can’t be too broken up when you excuse yourself. I have a bad habit I say to call people back, like you’ve excused yourself, but like, I may say something or lure you back by, you know. Oh, Hey, I’m just checking on you or whatever and sometimes I have to be a little more discerning and say, stop checking on that person. They’ve excused themselves. It’s not that you don’t care and don’t want greatness for them. It’s just that God has already severed the tie. They’ve used them to sever the tie and you’re calling them back into your space. And when you calling them back into their space for the second time, they’re uncomfortable again. And what happens when you keep calling them back into your space, they become so uncomfortable that the way they hurt you is, it gets a little deeper. It’s a little more painful because they’re resenting your space now. They’re, they’re resenting feeling uncomfortable. They’re resenting that you keep calling them back into a place that they’ve already left.

And so now, you know, things are happening that are not great for you. They’re not in alignment with you. And you just can’t understand why this person hurt you so bad. And it’s like you kept calling them back into a space where they clearly weren’t designed for it. Let them go. It hurts. Cry your tears. Let them go. Let them go. And I’m learning that the hard way, you know. Where it’s just like, you know, somebody might fall back and don’t say good morning every morning or whatever. And, but I know that this person’s not for me and it, you know, we’re kind of fading and it’s not, we’re supposed to be going down or whatever. Stop calling them back. When the tie’s been severed. You know, I know we wonder how people are doing. That’s what Facebook is for, right? Go mind their business. Go stalk a little bit. I don’t know. Like, but you don’t have to keep calling them back into your atmosphere, particularly when you know that this person is not for you. They’re not for you. And I know, like, the idea sometimes to us when we’re taught to be people pleasers and people pourers, and, you know, it seems so selfish to us that, oh, I’m not. But, like, come on.

Think about all the people that you meet in your life. You’re going to check on everybody? You’re going to check on everybody? An 90% of these people not checking on you. They don’t care, because they’re focused on whatever their atmosphere is. You got to be focused on your atmosphere. What are you building? What are you building? The people who were not for you, why you keep calling them back into your space? Do they truly fit into the space? No.

Set the atmosphere. And when you set the atmosphere, you set a standard for yourself. You set a standard that people got to rise to. You know, when you meet potential partners, whether it be business, love, whatever, you know, they going to get to this atmosphere and they got to decide like, you know, am I comfortable in this atmosphere? Am I not comfortable? And you can’t be out here trying to stress and redesign your atmosphere based upon everybody you meet.

You can’t, you know, I met somebody who ran me down a list of the things that he thought was wrong with me, that would not make me a compatible partner for him. But then he kept calling me, and he kept texting me, and I was like, Can you leave me alone? Like, just leave me alone. You know, but what he wanted is, because my response was, Oh, okay, I’m not the person for you, cool. I get that. Which means, cause automatically, if I’m not the person for you, it automatically means you’re not the person for me, and I want the person for me. So you, alright, beat it. Cool. You in the way or I’m in the way, right? Whatever. Let’s get out the way. Cool. And you know, you still trying to contact me because what you wanted me to do was redesign me. You wanted me to go through this checklist and say, I’m gonna fix this. I’m gonna fix this. And you wanted me to be, cause in his mind, the idea of being a submissive woman, which is crazy.

Like there’s so much talk about it, but the idea of being submissive was to yield to what it was that he wants. And so let me fix myself up a little bit and become what he wants. For what? For him to then feel like I don’t want this fake woman? Because I can’t hold it up for but so long, right? I can’t and he’s going to keep questioning me. You know, he has a particular idea about, you know, women who have been married for a long time. I’m like, I don’t know why you barked up my tree in the first damn place. Like these stats was already out there, but he wanted me to redesign my atmosphere. He wanted me to redesign my internal areas as well, because you want me to be a different person. You want me to have a different heart. You want me to abandon myself in love of you. I don’t even fucking know you, but, but no, even if I did. No, I am setting the atmosphere around me and the thing is he felt uncomfortable in my atmosphere. So, he thought that he could influence change of it so that he could become more comfortable. No, this is not the place for you. Go where you’re comfortable. Create your own atmosphere, create your own standard and let the people who are in alignment with that walk into your space. But please remove yourself from mine. And then when he didn’t, I removed him from mine.

We have to set a standard for ourselves and setting the standard doesn’t have to be some strict, like, I don’t accept this. I won’t like this. I won’t just set the standard of love for yourself. Just set your atmosphere. Set your, your personality, set you’re energy, you know, and it’ll do the work for you. People will excuse themselves. It’ll do the work for you. I’ve met men who, you know, I liked; who’ve liked me, but I’ve decided like, mm, I know who I could be for you. I’m not sure who you could be for me. That’s huge for me, because in the past it was, well, I could be this for you. I can, you know, I’m a great wife. I’m a great supporter. I’m a great, you know. Well, I don’t know if I’m a great wife. I don’t cook and clean, but I mean, I know that that’s the stereotype. I’m definitely not a stereotype.

However, you know, I feel like I’m an encourager. I’m a partner. You know, if you got a dream, I’m willing to stand behind it. Let’s go. I’m going to help you execute like. Whatever you need. I’m the person that you can talk to. If you like certain foods or whatever, I’m not a big cook, but I will learn how to cook what it is that you like. I feel like I’m, pretty decent with taking care of children. I love and I love thoroughly.

And when I say I love thoroughly, it means because I love who I see clearly. I don’t love in a cloud. I see you clearly and I decide to love you anyway. And I feel like that’s one of my greatest assets that you can be yourself. You don’t have to hide pieces of yourself when you’re with me. That you can just be raw, just be you and I’m going to take all the pieces of you and I’m going to kiss all of them. And, and we going to work through, like, I feel like that’s one of my greatest assets.

However, I have to give all of that to me in whatever way I know how and. Right now, I have to give some of that to me and because I’m the only one giving it to me and my daughter. My daughter sees me so clearly and loves me however I come. It’s beautiful. Honestly, I think I understand love because of her. I have friends in my life, new friends and old friends, that see me so clearly, love me so much. That, you know, we’ve been through, it’s just crazy. And I can love them raw, and they let themselves be raw. And we just have a hell of a time, because we just loving, and that’s the atmosphere. You know, and some people may say, oh, you clicky or whatever. I’m not clicky at all. Like, if you coming with love, come on in. You know what I’m saying? I’ve met people online that like, you know, we’ve bonded and become really good friends because you come in with love.

I recognize you. My spirit recognizes you. I recognize the love. Like we good. We people. We people and where, you know. I’ve always wanted to design the circle where, you know, we’re pouring into each other and everybody can lean on each other. So, I’m mindful of protecting that circle. I’m mindful of this is, this is how I get filled back. This is how I can pour, because the circle is what fills me back.

So, when I meet a man now, you know, I can see all the possibilities of all I can be to you. I can see your needs. I can see where I can be great. And, but, you know, at this point in my life, I’m also watching to see how you, you know, work into my atmosphere and my circle and what it is that I want to build for me. Like, I can’t be just whatever you need, because at the end of the day, you know, we get older and sometimes friends pass. My child will grow up and go away. She’ll go to college. She’ll get married. Maybe have children of her own. So, my partner is who’s there in the midnight hour, and it’s just the two of us with God.

Are we people who can feel each other? Is the, does the atmosphere work when it’s small? When it’s just the two of us? Cause that’s still the atmosphere. Is the atmosphere still full of love, that circulates? Not me just giving, but circulates. We give to each other. We hold each other up. We hold each other accountable. We’re responsible for each other. How does that work? So when I’m thinking about that and thinking about future life partners, you know, I’m, I’m recognizing that and I’m proud of myself for coming to that conclusion cause. Honey, the walk was long. The walk was long and I’m still walking. The walk was long.

So, I just want you to set your atmosphere. Focus on setting your atmosphere and deciding what kind of life you want to live and what kind of, um, atmosphere you want to live in and what it feels like and, and. Try to do things and build relationships that are in alignment with that. And like my atmosphere needs to match your atmosphere.

Okay. Cause it’s not just about me. My atmosphere needs to match your atmosphere. Cause you coming into mine, I’m coming into yours. You know what I’m saying? That’s the exchange. And I’m still developing that in my mind and still trying to figure out how I can evolve to the next level of that. But I think if you figure out how to practice it, that it might help you, it might help you get you to your next job. It might help you get through whatever you’re trying to get through. It may help you with your children. It may help you with your neighbors. It may help you with your family, with your spouse, or whomever you’re dating, or whoever you’re not dating, whatever. But my atmosphere and your atmosphere, like we, we need to be able to be positive additions to each other’s atmosphere. And there’s going to be some people that you pour into who don’t necessarily pour back in. But, it’s in your atmosphere. So, it’s coming back. So, it’s not necessarily that you have to be like, Oh, you can’t pour into me. So you can’t be over here. It’s not even that. It’s just that some things don’t need to linger, right? Because you’re moving with love. And sometimes when you move with love, you leave some stuff behind. And that’s just the natural way of things.

When you move forward, some things get left behind. It’s okay, it’s alright. Anyway, that’s my soapbox for today. I know it was really long, but that was really on my mind. Thank you so much for joining me. You want to support me, please buy my books. I prefer you buy the paperbacks, please. But if you got Kindle, you want Kindle Unlimited. All my books are there. I’m under the writer, Phoenix Ash. Um, if you are looking for romance, I have Delectable, a sweet romance, um, which is a really cute book. If you like your romance a little more naughty, Touch Me First is also available. Child, child, child, child. That finally got 75 ratings, I’m so proud. Like, oh my God, I never thought I would ever get that high. So that’s great. My first novel that I’ve ever written was In Her Makeup. It’s available on Amazon. It’s available on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, but it’s also available on Audible. So if, you know, you’re taking a nice long drive, you want somebody to read to you, um, that is available on Audible. Savage Fever, which is like my absolute favorite book because there’s so many becauses. But if you are someone who likes to binge read, but doesn’t want to buy each book in a series, that’s fine. Savage Fever is available. It’s five books in one. The season finale is in that book. So you’re all good. It’s available on Amazon. It’s on Kindle and it’s on Kindle Unlimited. So take it, take advantage of that. I’m not sure if season two will be on unlimited. So definitely scoop that up. If you want to get at me, I am at authorphoenixa on Twitter.

Yes, I changed my handle and I actually remember what it is. You can get in my inbox. I love to talk about books. I love to talk about characters. You know, let me know. I love to talk about the podcast, you know, or just say hi and good morning. Please don’t send me a dick. Other than that, yo, I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful week.

Try to stay cool and set your atmosphere. It’s particularly important in the summertime when we all get irritated. Set your atmosphere and I hope to be a part of it. Until the next time when we can exchange our love and empowerment. Thanks.